(Closed) I guess this is really just a vent

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@youhavemyheart: First of all, I’m so sorry for what you are going through. Wedding planning is a very emotional and stressful time, but nothing compared to the significant illness of a family member, and the two together can definitely take a toll.

You stated towards the end that neither of you knows what ‘being there’ means right now. I would suggest taking a little bit of time to reflect on what it is that would be most comforting to you, and then talk with your Fiance about how it is that he can be there for you. Finding a calm/quiet time to remind him of the important role your grandfather has in your life and the emotions that are resulting from his illness may help Fiance to understand how those emotions are amplified when wedding stress comes into play as well. 

As for the hometown issue, could you maybe do a reception the following weekend in your hometown? Many people that I know have done this when there is a distance between the wedding location and the B/G’s hometown/family. If things seem to be becoming more serious with your grandfather’s health, you could maybe organize a trip home before your wedding (if you decide as a couple that moving the date/location isn’t the best option) and do a ‘family blessing’ of the couple to include your grandpa and family that won’t be there, or some other special and significant event to recognize your upcoming marriage and the love and support of your family. 

We have gone through/are going through something similar to this, and my grandmother’s health is a big concern for me as well. I hope that things work out for you, and that talking with Fiance and explaining the importance of your relationship with your grandpa will help him to understand your feelings/where you’re coming from. 

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