- 8 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL
Title says it all. I’m not sure if I’m venting or looking for advice… I just need somewhere to get this out. I’m so bummed out about everything :/
Background: I had a small wedding with just 20 people (including DH and I) 3 weeks ago. Because the wedding was small, I expected some fallout, but nothing like what I am actually experiencing. Part of the problem is that even though the wedding was small, I still had a bridal party. I realize now that this was a HUGE mistake. My bridal party was my best friend since kindergarten, my other best friend since 6th grade, and my best friend from college. On DH’s side it was his brother, my brother, and his best friend. It was really important to have our brothers involved, so that is partly the reason we had a bridal party. It was also important to me that I had some friends at our wedding, and I wanted some girls there to help me get dressed the morning of… who wouldn’t?
All of my other college girlfriends (I think) would’ve been fine if I just included the first two girls, but the fact that I chose someone I knew as long as them and didn’t include the others is causing major issues. Let me preface the rest by saying that I have about 6 girlfriends I consider my best friends and another huge group of girl friends that I hung out with very often (before I moved away almost 2 years ago) that I consider very dear friends.
Leading up the wedding, my college roommate and “best friend” (call her K) that was not invited to be in/at the wedding and I had a huge fight. She was hurt that I didn’t include her and said some really mean things about my choice of wedding. She made me cry the entire Saturday before I got married. And I feel as though she has turned everyone else in my group of dear friends (she is closer with them than me) against me. I say this because NO ONE in that group has texted/called/facebook messaged/ANYTHING to say Congratulations to me – and these are my friends of 8 years and counting… to make matters worse, K unfriended both me and DH from facebook on our wedding day!
To add insult to injury, another dear friend in our group is getting married in May. I received an invitation to her wedding, RSVP’d, but when I logged onto facebook this morning I saw that over the weekend she had her bachelorette party – and everyone in our group of friends was there – except for me…
On top of that, the first morning of our honeymoon I woke up to a barrage of text messages from another best friend calling me a liar, a bitch, a bad friend, etc etc because her cousin (my best friend since 6th grade) was in the wedding and she was not. I’ve pretty much worked things out with her, but not everyone else.
I’m not even sure how to deal with this. I’ve said to everyone that I am sorry and that I wish I could go back in time and have no bridal party at all. I loved my wedding day, but I hate that whenever I think of it I get mixed feelings over all the friendships I have now lost. Should I try and repair my relationships with these people or should I just cut them out of my life? They said some extremely hurtful things to me (along the lines of I didn’t deserve a wedding at all if I couldn’t afford to “do it properly”) and I just don’t even know how to begin voicing my side/feelings without getting defensive.