(Closed) I hate being 30 with a "boyfriend".

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
2574 posts
Sugar bee

I always say at a certain point “girlfriend” becomes a dirty word I am also nearing 30 and told Fiance I would like to be married by 30. I come from a very small town and pretty much everyone I went to HS with has been married for forever, it is very common to be married by 20.

Post # 32
Member
3503 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Yipeebee:  You saying that your hubby called you “wife” before you got married, and the reasoning behind it, made me think about my relationship… My FI’s boss calls me his “wife” even though he knows we are not yet married.  Hmmm…. now I have something to think about.

And I’m with you- I can’t get used to the word “fiance”.  Half the time we still refer to each other as bf/gf, and i doubt that will change until after we get married.

Post # 33
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I agree that sometimes it feels kind of weird (I’m 27, Boyfriend or Best Friend is almost 32) but I think of it this way… you will be a wife FOREVER. Enjoy being the hot little girlfriend while it lasts. 😛

Post # 34
Member
2574 posts
Sugar bee

heputaringonit:   I am the same way I don’t like the word Fiance either I always call him my bf still and he doesn’t like it.

He calls me his fiance or wife, everyone at my work has called him my husband for a couple of years now.

Post # 35
Member
3503 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

sway0060:  We bought a house together in January, and when we would be filling stuff out for the house someone would be like “your husband…” and it felt SOOOO awkward to say “no, he’s my bf….”  At least now I feel like “fiance” has some weight behind it, but it’s such an awkward word.

Post # 36
Member
1954 posts
Buzzing bee

I am 33 and agree that “boyfriend” sounds a bit awkward to me too. Like we need one more term in the english language for when our partners aren’t “girls” and “boys” anymore they are adult men and women that we are serious about but they aren’t yet our fiance or spouse yet.

Post # 37
Member
3503 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Scarlett11:  Agreed!

I tried the whole “partner” thing, but then I felt like I should be a 50 year old divorcee who has decided never to get remarried, or a lesbian.  I just couldn’t get used to using that term.

Post # 38
Member
2574 posts
Sugar bee

heputaringonit:  Yep I feel the same way bf or husband in between feels awkward. We also bought a house before engaged and same they called him my husband the whole time.

When we got engaged everyone was saying that they thought I had already been married for a long time. I still have people asking me about my ring ( people I see daily) and they just noticed it, it’s been almost 6 months!

Post # 39
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee

This thread reminds me of the scene in the SATC movie where Carrie introduces Mr. Big her boyfriend to a real estate agent and he incredulously replies, “aren’t I a little too old to be your boyriend”? And she wittingly corrects herself and goes, “alright, this is Big, my MANFRIEND”

LOL…

Post # 40
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I’m 44, imagine how I feel! Yet, “fiancé” sounds so smug to my ears. I can’t say it in regular conversation.  FI has no qualms about it though, he’s always correcting me when I say “boyfriend” and always introduces me as his fiancée. 

Post # 41
Member
6785 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

The last couple of years before we were engaged/married I hated using the term boyfriend. For me it was a little less about age (I got married at 27) and more because I just feel like “boyfriend” wasn’t the appropriate term for our level of commitment. After we’d been together 10 years, I felt so silly calling him my boyfriend – like we were high school kids or something. Hell, our dating relationship was longer than most of my friends dating+marriages combined, so I totally get how you feel.

Post # 42
Member
1300 posts
Bumble bee

I had no problem calling my husband “my boyfriend” before we got married and I never had a problem with him calling me his girlfriend either. We were both in our early 30’s when we met (he was 30, I was 32).  I never felt being his girlfriend made me feel immature – it’s just a term you call someone when you are with them at a particular stage in your relationship.  I knew marriage would happen eventually and I felt lucky I was able to be his girlfriend, then his fiancee, and now his wife (or as he likes to  call me, “the love of his life” or “wifey-poo”.)  It never affected us professionally either – both of us were already successful in our own rights.  I know couples who are in relationships and the guy refers to the girl as his “friend.”  That would be more upsetting!  Lots of girls would love to be in your shoes and have someone special they can call their boyfriend.  Enjoy every moment – someday you’ll be married and a Mrs. and hopefully it’ll be everything you hoped for.  🙂

Post # 43
Hostess
3284 posts
Sugar bee

zippy85:  it’s not just you.  I had “boyfriends” in high school and college.  This current relationship feels more significant than any of those, and that label did not feel right to me.  He was my boyfriend at one point, but over time evolved into my partner and life mate.  Calling him a boyfriend did not relay the true significance of what we share.  Now he is my fiancé, but before that, I just called him my partner.  Go with what feels right for you.   

ETA, I still don’t call him my fiancé.  it feels pretentious to me.  He’s my partner, regardless of our marital status.

Post # 44
Member
33 posts
Newbee

I completely understand. I was so upset on my 30th birthday last year because we still weren’t engaged. We just got engaged at the end of February. And in the end, it won’t matter. 🙂 

Post # 45
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee

At the age of 30 year olds,  I still date my then boyfriend, now husband…. We got married on February and I’m still 30, I won’t be turning 31 utnil June.

I never had a Fiance’, becuz we didn’t have the engagement period… He jump from boyfriend status to husband status, Lol!!!….  At the time he bring up the marriage topic, he was very keen on it, so I decided okay let’s get married!!….  We tied the knot at the simple City Hall/Courthouse ceremony….. I didn’t have an engagement ring, didn’t have wedding reception nor honeymoon. I choose not to have any of those…. I want to save the money for a house down-payment.

OP, I hope this make you feel better, you can laugh at me…. I lost my virginity at the age of 29 to my then boyfriend now husband…. Now that is funny, because 29 is a ridiculously old age for a girl to lost her V-Card, Lol!!…. But Heck, I’m a very picky girl and I’m conservative, so I want to make sure that he is ‘the one’…. I met my husband late in life too, I was 26…. I didn’t date him until I was 28, and I didn’t give him sex until I was 29, and we recently got married…. Our age, I’m 30 and he is 29

It is okay to have a boyfriend at age 30, some people at age 50 and still have Boyfriend or Best Friend, some people at age 60 still find their soul mate.

The topic ‘I hate being 30 with a "boyfriend".’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors