(Closed) I Hate College: Paying To Be Miserable

posted 7 years ago in College
Post # 17
Member
3066 posts
Sugar bee

@Pear85:  i know girl, college is tough and sooo expensive. Sometimes I wonder why I am going to get myself in all this debt. If you realy are not loving your experience, leave after the semester. Go back home and try community college (its much different than a 4 year) Its a little easier in that most of the professors know that people are coming from all different stages (some right outta high school, some coming back from 10 plus years off). You can go for two years and in that time figure out what you want to do and where you want to go. After that, you can tgransfer to a 4 year and finish up your degree. Community College is much cheaper and I had a great experience there and got my AA in business.

Good luck to you! and P.S. i had soooo many friends attend a 4 year for a semester or a year only to come back and start CC. A bunch of people do it. I’m sure your parents will understand

Post # 18
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

University was not as great an investment as I had expected. Not useless, but not worth the price and the time. I wish I had done a practical trade for less tuition. Way more income opportunity. My friend became an electrician at 21, and she is probably fifteen years ahead of most of our university crew in terms of debt repayment, savings and assets. Half of my university friends are still in school, have returned to school, or are working retail, drowning in piling student debt. Ugh. 

Post # 19
Member
5867 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Pear85:  

“My best friends is my mom and I can’t tell her how I feel, she’s the one who wanted me to take a year off in the first place.”

 Yes you can tell her.  Talk to you mom about this.

Many schools also have free councelors, resident assistants, etc.  You could also talk to them about this.

Post # 20
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

1. Sign up for clubs – lots of them.  Most you won’t end up staying in, but keep your options open- it is a great way to meet new people.

2. Read your assigned readings before coming to class – I’m guessing your textbook covers the vocab that is unfamiliar to you.  When I teach, I don’t spend class time going over vocab – I assume my students have read the chapters.   If you hear an unfamiliar word in class, write it down (or circle it in your notes) and look it up after class.

**From a college professor

Post # 21
Member
3400 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Pear85:  You will get through this.

You definitely made the right choice to go to college & not take time off. As my dad said, “it’s never going to be easier to go than right this minute. don’t take a break, or that break might never end.”

You really NEED an education in this economy, & the fact that your parents even for a minute dissuaded you from going seems very odd to me.

The cost can be super sucky, but you’ll get through it. I think it’ll be easier for you if you stop thinking that “I should have listened to my parents. I made the wrong choice..” & instead realize that they were wrong & honestly, going to college really should have been your only option.

It’s hard to make it in this world WITH a degree, let another without one!

This too shall pass, & it’ll all be for the greater good. Plus, you’ll be SO shocked at how quickly these 4yrs pass. It seems like yesterday when I was going to my first day of class freshman year & tomorrow is the first day of my senior year.

(If it helps, I’m also an introvert & college had been about 0% as fun as I thought it would be, but college should be a LOT less about socializing & a lot more about working hard to get that education and prepared for the job.)

Post # 22
Member
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@Pear85:  Blehhhhhh. This is why I went to a community college for the first two years. My uni had several fees (sustainability fee, etc.), so I totally get that. I didn’t play sports or have time for organizations, either–I worked four days a week and had class two days a week, so I had one day to myself, and that was usually spent doing laundry, grocery shopping, etc.

Post # 23
Member
4045 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I hardly made friends in uni, and some of the classes sucked, and paying hundreds in fees that have no affect on me are annoying. But in the end the degree is worth it to get into the field (education) I want.

Honestly, it’s not going to get any better with the attitude you have. You haven’t joined any clubs, yet you’ve already decided none of them are for you. How do you know that? Pick 3-5 you may have some interest in and go to a couple meetings to see if they are a good fit, THEN decide if they are for you.

Uni requires a lot of reading – do it before the class in order to know what the lecture is about. It helps a lot.

I am certain there are other freshmen in your dorm and in your classes who feel the exact way you do. See someone eating alone? Sit with them. Reach out to the other students who seem to be in your position, and befriend them.

Post # 24
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My first year of college was hard. I cried on the phone to my mom one night begging her to let me transfer to the schools. I don’t really think I felt comfortable till I started my job summer before my sophomore year. Thats where I met most of my friends. I tried the clubs thing and hung out with some people from high school but never really felt like I fit in. You just have try everything once. Oh and once you get through the Gen Ed BS the courses in your major will keep you busy. I was a history minor and I loved all the upper level courses I took in history. So much better than Astronomy 101. 

Side note. If I had tranfered like I wanted to I would have never met my husband my sophomore year.

Post # 25
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My advice may not help much, but…

 

I want to a large university (Mizzou) from a very small high school (as in, my whole HS had less than 500 students, and my first class at college had over 600 students). I HATED my dorm, and never made friends there. But I rushed, joined a sorority, and now (four years after I graduated) my sorority sisters are still my best friends.

 

So maybe Greek Life isn’t around at your school, but the lesson still applies – join a club! My brother went to the same university and joined some club and made all sorts of friends.

 

Also, I know it’s tough being shy, but make an effort! Leave your door open, ask your roommate if you can tag along one night. Ask a girl next to you if she wants to study, sit with someone at lunch. I’m not going to sugar-coat it, it will be difficult. BUT just remember everyone else is new, too. You’re not the only person feeling lonely, AT ALL. Yes, it will be awkward and uncomfortable opening yourself up to new people, and you might face a bit of rejection. But, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? Trust me, if I can put myself out there as a grown adult at age 26, you can do it in college. It’s way harder to meet people once you get older.

Also, if you feel like you’re really struggling in class, stop by your TAs or professor’s office hours. Seriously, they LOVE it when that happens. I had a professor who I visited regularly and he bumped my grade from a B to an A- because I “put so much effort in” (and we had a weighted system so a +/- really makes a difference.

Post # 26
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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@MrsSkeletonKey:  You do not need an education in this economy. Especially not a History degree (sorry, OP)!That line of thinking is exactly why so many people are up to their eyeballs in student debt without a pot to piss in. We’ve still yet to see the full impact of this on society at large. No money to spend after paying back student loans = no economy, for one. 

 

Post # 27
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper

I wish I could make this emphatic but not sound like yelling:

Get out there now and join clubs and try to make friends! This is the time! I promise you I know what I’m talking about. I was miserable my first couple months at college because it was such an adjustment but now? What I wouldn’t do to go back. The thing is, everyone is new and uncomfortable and awkward right now. So capitalize on it and put yourself out there. Join clubs, talk to random people, be open. It will get better if you put forth effort. You have a great opportunity, so don’t waste it. Give yourself some time and be open to new things. 

Post # 28
Member
3400 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@turnanewleaf:  I did not see the OP’s major. I agree that history, unless pursuing a doctoral or masters degree in order to begin a career in academia, is probably not the best way to go.

However, I think it all depends on what field the person is attempting to get into, & also which colllege they choose to go to & for how much money.

I am attending a private college for 6k a year in tuition (most people pay 20k annually to attend my school). I do NOT see this as wasteful spending. It is an investment in my future, & one that I pursued with careful consideration.

In this economy, it is VERY hard to get a job without being at even playing field with other people you are competing in the job market with, & with so many people getting degrees, it doesn’t make sense to me to tell somebody that they shouldn’t get a degree.

Now, if they don’t get a worthwhile degree, then it might all be for naught. & if they get into a program that they can’t afford, that’s also not very responsible. It’s all about weighing their own situation.

Post # 29
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

You need to put yourself out there.  If you’re not a sports person…can you join the badminton team? Ultimate frisbee?  There are fun sports that aren’t super competitive.  I was not a team sports person until college, when I randomly joined the rugby team…and it was AWESOME.  I can’t believe I went through high school without playing sports.  

You sound like you hate college and that you’re determined to hate it.  If you want to make it work, you have to make it work.  Have you noticed anyone you’d like to get to know in any of your classes?  Talk to that person.  If you like history, take a history class — the add/drop period shouldn’t be over yet.  If you don’t like your classes, figure out why — are they too big?  Too hard?  What’s going on that you don’t like them?  If your professors are saying things that do not make sense, talk to them during office hours.  

Post # 30
Member
2664 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@Pear85:  I felt that way for the first 3 years or so (minus the dorm room thing and the roommate thing — that was only the first year). Then I started studying Economics, and I fell in love. Now I love going to class, and I’m actually a little sad that I’m graduating in the Spring. 

Post # 31
Member
1744 posts
Bumble bee

Some adjust easier than others to moving away from home and starting college, but it’s called “home sickness” for a reason.  The best way to get over it is what PP have suggested.  Go out with others, join a club (maybe easier if you’re shy – the club will have an agenda and will be an easy topic of discussion).  Start a study group.  Give yourself some time.  I know you don’t believe we really understand how miserable you feel right now, but I promise some of us really were just as miserable as you feel right now.  

Honestly, I was much happier once I got a job working evenings, as I bonded with my co-workers and I had something to focus on other than being unhappy, and I was making money.  Life got even better when I didn’t have to stay in the dorm and could rent an apartment with my friends.  

I would encourage you to think carefully about what you want to do when you get out, is there a job market for what you want to do?  Do you need an advanced degree to do what you want?  How much debt might you incur to reach your goal.    It may be that college really isn’t a great fit for you, and if not, do something different at the semester.   Just don’t make that decision right now.  It feels overwhelming and that is NORMAL.  Give it a chance. 

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