(Closed) I HATE DEBT!!!

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 33
Member
2336 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Kate0558:  They let me make my own decisions. I was 18! I should NOT have been able to make those kinds of decisions.

I am curious.  When do you think people should be able to make decision like this for themselves rather than having them made for them?

Post # 34
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee

I hear ya, sister.  I mean, I’m in Canada so the situation isn’t quite as dire, but definitely not as good as my friends in Europe. >.<

I don’t regret my decision but I wish I didn’t listen to certain family members who encouraged me to take out as much loans as I did…in retrospect I didn’t need as much money as I got, and while I’ve never really had credit card debt, I certainly didn’t spend some of it wisely. >.<

I want to pay off my loans before I get married but the road is long and hard. ๐Ÿ™

Post # 35
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee

@priyawouldntwannabeya:  Congratulations!  I can’t wait to experience that awesome sense of relief – it’s still a ways away. ๐Ÿ™

Post # 36
Member
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Kate0558:  I just want to say I agree 100% that nobody should allow an 18 year old to borrow the amount of money college requires. Everyone was telling me that it was “good debt” and that, with my degree, I would be making OMGSOMUCHMONEY and my student loans would be a drop in the bucket so to speak. This could not be farther from the truth. Sure, I should have done the math but I had no idea how to calculate this kind of stuff back then and not a single person stressed that it was something to consider– it was out of the question that I might not go. Nobody  told me that i should potentially not go to college based on how much I would be taking out in loans. Everyone told me that OMG you need to get into college because you NEED a college degree! This post is preaching to my heart’s choir.

Post # 37
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@CharleighT:  This. So much. At 18, signing that piece of paper is nothing. At 21, hearing them say “the only way you’ll be free of this student debt is if you die” was a little depressing, but not life-altering. At 23, working 2 or 3 jobs to make $2 more per month than my bills (not including gas or food – I remember a few nights eating just ONE brownie for dinner because I didn’t have anything else) – at 23, it was scary, and I was angry with myself and with the system, angry that what everyone else had told me (“get good grades so you can go to a good school and get a good job”) was wrong, and bad advice. But I pulled through. I made the last payment on my car this August, and that made a world of difference. I paid off my smallest credit card over the summer as well with a big payment, and I’m working on my only remaining credit card. Then it’s on to the student loans. 

It sucks, but it DOES get better. It took 6 YEARS for it to get better for me, and about 3 of those years I spent stressing majorly over bills and money – but it does get better. Pay off the one small thing that you can, then move on to the next. With smart management, one day you’ll wake up and realize that you aren’t nearly as broke as you were now – and that you learned a lot of good lessons along the way.

Post # 38
Member
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Minnow:  THIS!! You just made me  tear up at work. I say the EXACT thing to people: “They told me if you don’t go to college, you won’t get a GOOD job. Nobody told me the reality is that EVEN IF you go to college and get a degree, you might not even get A job let alone a good one!”… it’s a really shitty reality that NONE of us were prepared for. Well, apparently some people’s parents were realistic but none of the parents/educators I knew ever discouraged college due to financial reasons haha. Thank you for telling me it will get better…it really does help! I’m so happy you’re on the other side of this now! That one brownie dinner made me so sad to think of hahahah

Post # 40
Member
1286 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@Kate0558:  Curious, why did you buy a house and new cars if you had so much in student loans? I know life waits for no one but I think those things are not necessities. I agree that paying nearly $1000/mo. in interest alone is like throwing money away. And that so many Americans think that having debt, good or bad, is normal. The consumerist society throws that stuff at you too, promising interest free payments for 12 months, pushing you to sign up for store cards just to get a one-time discount, etc.

Post # 41
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2016 - The Fox Hollow

Fiance and I are in a similar boat.  We both have our bachelor’s and he is currently getting his MBA.  My parents paid for college (thanks mom and dad!) and the “debt” in my name they took out has been paid off (thanks again mom and dad!).  FH is not so lucky.  He will graduate with around $130,000 in student loan debt.  The worst part is, I’m not using my degree at all and working off the books.  With my lack of income on paper and his debt, our debt-to-income ratio will be so high, it’ll be impossible to even get a mortgage to afford a house on Long Island where we currently live at home.  We have plenty of savings and enough to put down 20% on a home NOW but can’t because of the income situation.  WHY DO THEY MAKE IT SO HARD?! 

Post # 42
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@CharleighT:  Yup! I know that in our parent’s or teacher’s day that going to college WAS the solution to getting a good job – it’s just not the case any more. I have a “good” degree to most people (Biology) it was all but useless to me after school. I made less money working in my degree (minimum wage) than I do now working in an entry-level marketing/office position. I also see people whose majors in college were less than half the credits of mine working in much better positions. That’s a lesson they need to teach in school – how to get a job, what job to get, what your job prospects likely are! That and what debt REALLY means! Too many people have to learn the hard way.

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@Kate0558:  It does get better ๐Ÿ™‚ And as long as you guys keep making smart decisions, it will get better sooner than you realize. (It still blows my mind that my car is paid off. I have $450 extra dollars per month now and so excited to be using it toward my other debt.) Seriously once you pay off that big first thing you may even be surprised how fast it gets better – you just have to be consistent and disciplined until then. You can do it! 

Post # 43
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I have about the same in student loan debt, but it is from undergrad and graduate school. It does scare me and stress me out, but my DH and I know that sometimes that is just a part of life. I guess I’m just glad that isn’t from cars or credit cards… It’s more like an investment like the other bees have said. 

DH and I are planning to live off one income and use the other to pay down debt as much as possible. In theory that would allow us to pay off all my loans and his loans within 5-6 years. we both bought used cars outright, and are hoping my old car makes it a little longer so we don’t have to take on a car payment too. 

Post # 44
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

 

@Kate0558:  My fiancee and I are in a similar situation, except he is the one who has the substantial school debt.  It did lead to a degree as an attorney.  He is partner at a firm now, and his old boss/new partner wants to retire…so my fiance is taking over the practice.  That means he ALSO has the buy out his partner.

 

 

 

The debt is overwhelming.  I am debt free except  student loans that are about $150 a month, and a car payment.  I got a BoA loan at like 2.3% and I pay in $515 every month despite the fact the payment is much under that. People tell me to just make the minimum payment but I don’t want to – I hate it hanging over my head for the next years!  I want it gone ASAP. The student loans are so small and the interest rate is similar – I barely notice it and the money comes out every month without me thinking about it.  

 

We also  need to support his mom and be generous to his family – they are very, very poor.  We live modestly, but compared to them, we live like kings.  We have to pay for their transportation and stay for our wedding.  

 

He will by my husband.  I would rather not have these ongoing financial stressors but this is part of what made him what he is today.  There were big life lessons and lots of responsibility early on his life that shaped him into a generous and kind man.  I love him for that.  However, we have different ways of dealing with money.  He grew up with nothing, so when he has money, he will give it away.  He’s not a huge spender (we do go out to eat occassionally, we do go on vacations and weekend getaways), but he’s the type of person who will want to pick up a tab and empty out his bank account spending money on his parents just because he can.  I’m more frugal.  I grew up with money, and I grew up with the thought you have to save it in case an emergency comes up.  When my savings gets depleted, I freak out.  He does not, as he never grew up with any sort of savings.

 

It will be an ongoing dialogue.  

 

Post # 45
Member
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I also hate debt. Fiance seems more relaxed about it, so I feel a bit like a nag sometimes, but credit card and loan debt… I just want it GONE.

ETA: For the record, I had $60k in Grad school loans. I currently have just over 50K. ๐Ÿ™

 

Post # 46
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It always seems like the guy is more OK with debt!

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