I hate destination bachelorettes parties!!!

posted 6 months ago in Parties
Post # 2
4128 posts
Honey bee

Okay, while I certainly share your dislike of destination bachelorette parties, this feels like a you problem. Your feeling of obligation is a creation of your own making. You’re the one allowing the goodness or badness of your friendships to be defined as to whether or not you make these parties. And if your friends are similarly defining friendship as to whether or not you make these parties and or making you feel bad about it, then you should get better friends.  This mostly feels like self-imposed guilt that you can choose to not impose on yourself.

Post # 3
2632 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I feel you bee. I’m about to spend an expensive weekend in a cramped Airbnb with 6 girls and one bathroom, probably sharing a bed with a stranger. In an extremely expensive city where the wedding also is located, so that’s 4 nights accommodation to pay for. I know in theory I could have said no, but I‘m a bridesmaid and had no legitimate excuse besides “I don’t really want to” so I am sucking it up. I’m very glad I did not subject my friends to this nonsense, but I wish they had returned the favour..

Post # 4
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

pussinboots07 :  UGH ME TOO! That’s why I’m having a one night deal in the city 9/10 of us live in… just one day. Why do people actually want to take 3 days to celebrate? I vacation enough with my S/O, I don’t like traveling in big groups. 

Post # 6
47136 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I hate them too. I don’t feel obligated. I don’t attend. The difference is I don’t feel bad about it.

Post # 7
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

Luckily no one I know has ever had one! For all my friends it was just a night out here in town. Most of my friends don’t have much money and I don’t either. I’d definitely not be into a destination party. You are definitely not a bad friend for turning it down! 

Post # 8
64 posts
Worker bee

pussinboots07 :  I have to agree. While sometimes they can be fun, I just hate that it’s become such a trend overall. Didn’t a bachelor/bachelorette party used to be ONE night out on the town, in your own town?? Now it’s such a production. I hate feeling like such a party pooper but it’s just gotten to be too much. I partially blame social media one-upmanship.

Post # 9
3090 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

I’m quite fortunate that in my social circles this hasn’t been a big thing. The couple of them that I did get invited to (one was a cottage out in the mountains for three days and the others was a four day trip to Vegas) there was no pressure to go and I got no push back at all about declining. 

If I am gonna go on an expensive friends trip of rather do it as part of a specific social group rather than a random assortment of women. 

Post # 10
1567 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve never been invited to one, but I can imagine it’s a big pain in the ass. 

Post # 11
2850 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Then don’t go? 

I had one, if was amazing. I’ve thrown them for other friends and been to others without being a host, they were awesome. I’ve also declined when I didn’t want to attend  

you’re in control, so stop complaining

pussinboots07 :  

Post # 12
11489 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I totally agree with you. Like destination weddings I think they are a huge and often gross imposition on the finances and vacation time of friends who, whatever people say about it, often feel pressured and obligated to attend. 

Just say no. 

Post # 13
38 posts
  • Wedding: June 2017

I’ve been two three and two of them sucked big time and were a complete loss of time, energy and money. The problems with the two bachelorettes from hell were the same: too many girls from totally different backgrounds were thrown together in a foreign place without a proper plan. This caused lots of confusion, resentment and catty behaviour. I still think a destination bachelorette can be fun,  but only when it’s properly planned and when the time and money needed are no burden for the girls who go.

Post # 14
4837 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I actually don’t hate them, it’s a good excuse to spend some quality time with your friends and it’s always good to meet any other friends of the bride before the wedding.

If you don’t want to go or can’t afford it then it’s your place to say so, it’s not on the person that invited you.

Post # 15
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I hate them too. I went on one, and actually had a good time, but we’d have done the same stuff and had the same fun somewhere local with less hassle and expense. We didn’t need to go abroad to catch up, go to a restaurant and go to a club.

Also, not many people went. Lots of people said they were keen, then bailed at the last minute. I felt sorry for the organiser. 

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