(Closed) I hate everything about my wedding.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I definitely don’t think you are being unreasonable. I would be upset too. Sometimes I wish I could just elope because things don’t often go my way. But I know that I would kick myself later on for not just having a wedding. So I suggest you just hold tight and try talking to them about how you feel. I have learned that having a serious emotional breakdown can sometimes help get what you want (childish, I know but it sometimes helps). I hope things work out 🙂

Post # 4
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Does your Fiance know all this? If he’s on board it sounds like you’re a prime candidate for eloping. It’s lovely that both your families are so excited and want to be involved, but it sounds like a lot of decisions are being made for THEM not for you and your Fiance. That’s not really fair.

Post # 5
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@bakerella: <


what she said!

Post # 6
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think you def need to talk to your Fiance about this.  The wedding should be about you two, not them.  I can understand if they want to help, but to make decisions without any of your input is uncalled for!!  You two need to band together on this and figure it out.  Its your special day and you should definetly not hate it!!!

Post # 8
Member
1124 posts
Bumble bee

Elope! I definitely would – the way it is right now it sounds like it isn’t YOUR wedding anyway.

Post # 9
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

wow.  I think you should make yourself heard.  Because your voice isn’t in any of this.  Make it clear what you want!  THey may not have heard you.

Post # 10
Member
253 posts
Helper bee

um listen its YOUR wedding.. you need to step up and be the boss…  make your voice heard… Next thing your know they will be picking out your dress.. !!!!!!! Enough is enough ..im angry for you

Post # 11
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

OH wow I definitely would have a SERIOUS talk with your parents and In-laws.  Your Fiance and you need to put your foot down and let them know exactly how you feel.  I would def. feel like eloping as well if I were in your shoes.  This is so unfair to you, this is supposed to be YOUR DAY not THEIRS.  Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

You are not being unreasonable!  It’s supposed to be YOUR wedding!

It’s hard to tell others no, especially if they’re contributing financially.  A lot of the decisions in my wedding were made by “the group,” meaning myself, my mother, my fiancee, and my dad okaying the price.  In the end, a lot of the stuff is not exactly what I would have chosen if I were able to do so myself, but I did always get a say in the decisions.  

But I did have to say NO to some stuff.  My mom was set on invitations i HATED, so I told her: “If you want to get married again, you can have those for your wedding.  But this is my wedding and i don’t like them.” I said it in a lighthearted enough way that I didn’t hurt her feelings, but she got the idea and backed off a bit.  

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.  I would be furious if my parents disregarded what I wanted for my wedding.  If it were me, I would probably talk to my fiancee and my parents and tell them how I felt.  If they knew how much they hurting you, surely they would stop and give you back some control over your wedding, right?

Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

amen @ bridalblush! Step up sister!!! You don’t want your memories to be sad when you look back on your wedding day. It’s about you, not them. And it’s about what you want. If it turns into a big deal, I’d elope. Don’t make yourself a doormat.

Post # 14
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am having the same exact problem as you… only the problem is with my mother.  I’m getting married where she wanted.  I bought the dress she liked (I liked it at the time, but now I have dress regret), I caved into having a cake instead of an icecream bar to get her to stop making me feel awful, I have chair covers which just seem so damn indulgent… I could go on.  We’re also having a bigger wedding because my Fiance LOVES parties.  I wanted a short dress, 25 people, and a reception at the local brewery.  There is absolutely nothing about me in this wedding.  Once I broke down crying about this to my man, he offered up a compromise… since we were full in, we’re going to go somewhere for our 1st anniversary, just the two of us, and renew our vows.  THAT will be my wedding. 

I have a feeling we were a lot like… everytime we spoke up, we made the other person feel bad, which made me feel worse off than I did before.  It sucks, because society has built this up to be the most incredible day our lives.  I think the best day of our lives will be the day after, when the pressure is off, and we can just live our lives together…

 

I feel for you.  Good Luck.

Post # 15
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Ok as a newly married woman who hated her wedding I have to say please please please take a step back and think about which bits you are not willing to compromise on. I have spent weeks in tears about it which everyone thinks is depression, no i just compromised too much and feel like i sold my soul. everytime someone mentions The Wedding (not My dont think it ever will be my wedding) or i see the photos I have palpitations and feel sick. The worst thing is you can never do it again and have it be that special day… do what you want and if your family love you then they will have to shut up and put up

Post # 16
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@peazgrl1545:  I totally agree with what peazgrl is saying! I had a similar situation at the start/half way into planning my wedding.  I was REALLY worried about spending so much of MY life savings when I wasn’t thrilled about having a big tradional wedding.   My fiance and I got into a lot of bickering/arguments about money/our wedding. It was really stressful.  Plus, my dream wedding would be to get married in a tropical place with just the two of us OR our immediate families/one or two best friends.  That’s my personality.  However, in all of the fights I was having with my fiance, I realized that even though I wanted a destination beach wedding he did not.  So, it was a compromise for me but we are having a traditional wedding and I am over my destination wedding.  If he suddenly wanted to elope on a beach would I do it? YES! But, that’s not what is in the cards for me.  

Anyway, the point of my story is that it has to be about the two of you and nobody else!! I would say if your fiance is ok with eloping…ELOPE!!! All that matters is that both of you are happy.  

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