Post # 1
I really do. I hate that I was pressued my his parents to pick a place fast, I hate that his dad is printing out our invitations and didn’t talk to me about what I wanted, I hate that my family wants my aunts husband to bring in some old speakers and that he will be our dj with our laptops, I hate it all. I love him but I don’t know what to do about this I wanna marry him but this isn’t what I wanted at all. I wanted a garden wedding a simple reception and now its at his church with the reception at a state park. I asked for a certain type of table covers and it didn’t matter my parents bought what they wanted. I’m thinking of postponing it and just eloping. Any toughts, suggetions, or just comments? Am I being unreasonable about this?
Post # 3
I definitely don’t think you are being unreasonable. I would be upset too. Sometimes I wish I could just elope because things don’t often go my way. But I know that I would kick myself later on for not just having a wedding. So I suggest you just hold tight and try talking to them about how you feel. I have learned that having a serious emotional breakdown can sometimes help get what you want (childish, I know but it sometimes helps). I hope things work out 🙂
Post # 4
Does your Fiance know all this? If he’s on board it sounds like you’re a prime candidate for eloping. It’s lovely that both your families are so excited and want to be involved, but it sounds like a lot of decisions are being made for THEM not for you and your Fiance. That’s not really fair.
Post # 6
I think you def need to talk to your Fiance about this. The wedding should be about you two, not them. I can understand if they want to help, but to make decisions without any of your input is uncalled for!! You two need to band together on this and figure it out. Its your special day and you should definetly not hate it!!!
Post # 7
@bakerella: @Mrs.tobe: <–thirding their opinoins
Post # 8
Elope! I definitely would – the way it is right now it sounds like it isn’t YOUR wedding anyway.
Post # 9
wow. I think you should make yourself heard. Because your voice isn’t in any of this. Make it clear what you want! THey may not have heard you.
Post # 10
um listen its YOUR wedding.. you need to step up and be the boss… make your voice heard… Next thing your know they will be picking out your dress.. !!!!!!! Enough is enough ..im angry for you
Post # 11
OH wow I definitely would have a SERIOUS talk with your parents and In-laws. Your Fiance and you need to put your foot down and let them know exactly how you feel. I would def. feel like eloping as well if I were in your shoes. This is so unfair to you, this is supposed to be YOUR DAY not THEIRS. Good luck!
Post # 12
You are not being unreasonable! It’s supposed to be YOUR wedding!
It’s hard to tell others no, especially if they’re contributing financially. A lot of the decisions in my wedding were made by “the group,” meaning myself, my mother, my fiancee, and my dad okaying the price. In the end, a lot of the stuff is not exactly what I would have chosen if I were able to do so myself, but I did always get a say in the decisions.
But I did have to say NO to some stuff. My mom was set on invitations i HATED, so I told her: “If you want to get married again, you can have those for your wedding. But this is my wedding and i don’t like them.” I said it in a lighthearted enough way that I didn’t hurt her feelings, but she got the idea and backed off a bit.
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. I would be furious if my parents disregarded what I wanted for my wedding. If it were me, I would probably talk to my fiancee and my parents and tell them how I felt. If they knew how much they hurting you, surely they would stop and give you back some control over your wedding, right?
Post # 13
amen @ bridalblush! Step up sister!!! You don’t want your memories to be sad when you look back on your wedding day. It’s about you, not them. And it’s about what you want. If it turns into a big deal, I’d elope. Don’t make yourself a doormat.
Post # 14
I am having the same exact problem as you… only the problem is with my mother. I’m getting married where she wanted. I bought the dress she liked (I liked it at the time, but now I have dress regret), I caved into having a cake instead of an icecream bar to get her to stop making me feel awful, I have chair covers which just seem so damn indulgent… I could go on. We’re also having a bigger wedding because my Fiance LOVES parties. I wanted a short dress, 25 people, and a reception at the local brewery. There is absolutely nothing about me in this wedding. Once I broke down crying about this to my man, he offered up a compromise… since we were full in, we’re going to go somewhere for our 1st anniversary, just the two of us, and renew our vows. THAT will be my wedding.
I have a feeling we were a lot like… everytime we spoke up, we made the other person feel bad, which made me feel worse off than I did before. It sucks, because society has built this up to be the most incredible day our lives. I think the best day of our lives will be the day after, when the pressure is off, and we can just live our lives together…
I feel for you. Good Luck.
Post # 15
Ok as a newly married woman who hated her wedding I have to say please please please take a step back and think about which bits you are not willing to compromise on. I have spent weeks in tears about it which everyone thinks is depression, no i just compromised too much and feel like i sold my soul. everytime someone mentions The Wedding (not My dont think it ever will be my wedding) or i see the photos I have palpitations and feel sick. The worst thing is you can never do it again and have it be that special day… do what you want and if your family love you then they will have to shut up and put up
Post # 16
@peazgrl1545: I totally agree with what peazgrl is saying! I had a similar situation at the start/half way into planning my wedding. I was REALLY worried about spending so much of MY life savings when I wasn’t thrilled about having a big tradional wedding. My fiance and I got into a lot of bickering/arguments about money/our wedding. It was really stressful. Plus, my dream wedding would be to get married in a tropical place with just the two of us OR our immediate families/one or two best friends. That’s my personality. However, in all of the fights I was having with my fiance, I realized that even though I wanted a destination beach wedding he did not. So, it was a compromise for me but we are having a traditional wedding and I am over my destination wedding. If he suddenly wanted to elope on a beach would I do it? YES! But, that’s not what is in the cards for me.
Anyway, the point of my story is that it has to be about the two of you and nobody else!! I would say if your fiance is ok with eloping…ELOPE!!! All that matters is that both of you are happy.