(Closed) I HATE HER :(

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ugly situation.  I would start with talking to your Fiance, how does he feel about her?

Post # 4
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Jayparadise: ok, I say its your day and if you hate the girl then do not invite her. I see that she already made you feel ackward at your engagement party and that probably will not change for the wedding. I know you said you are not as close with your cousin who is her man so if you do not care if he is mad then do not invite her.

Post # 7
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Assuming your FI’s best friend is going to be in your wedding party, it seems a bit rude to not let him bring his gf. Do you really think she’ll ruin your wedding day (i.e. by being mean or obnoxious or doing something embarassing), or do you think she’ll just come and be quiet and not say hi like she did before? 

If all she’s going to do is be there quietly, I would personally avoid the extra drama and just let her be there and ignore her. But, if she’s really going to ruin the whole day for you just by being in the same room as you, then I guess you need to make sure she won’t be there. 

Post # 8
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

How exactly do you think she’ll ruin your day?  Because you’d be so upset at the sight of her?  If that’s the case – then, just don’t invite her.  

I don’t think it’s a huge deal she didn’t say anything to you at your party.  It’s not polite, but maybe she has insecurity issues and/or knows you hate her – so what’s the point.  She went to support her man, likely – and not to throw stones at you.

If you don’t give your FI’s best friend a +1, she won’t be invited.

Post # 9
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I know the feeling, hating someone’s guts so ban you don’t want to see her ugly face for the rest of your.. ok I’m back.

I’m guessing she’s not invited per se but she’s his boyfriend’s plus one. Can I ask how do you feel she’s going to ruin the day (other than showing up and pissing you off, of course)?

Maybe talk to your Fiance and tell him how you really really really don’t want her there and maybe he could talk to his friend and do something about it. It depends on the circumstances cause if her boyfriend is your FI’s friend and he won’t attend without the girlfriend, well that’ll be a problem.

Post # 10
Member
5800 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’d avoid the drama and invite her (and sit her as far away from you as humanly possible)

Post # 11
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

If you don’t want to go then who cares? Don’t invite her if you are not that worried about going to her wedding. You don’t have to like everyone. 

Post # 12
Member
1351 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

It’s your wedding. Period. If there’s someone there you OR your Fiance doesn’t want there- they don’t need to be there. I don’t know why people always feel entitled to get invited to someone’s weding We aren’t inviting the groomsmen’s on/off girlfriends because 1) we don’t know them and 2) they don’t know us. So, why the heck do you need to be at the most important day of my life? There’s been weddings I didn’t get invited to before Fiance and I got engaged b/c of previously mentioned two reasons, and I didn’t bug out and throw a temper tantrum at all. We weren’t married/engaged/living together so not a big deal. Don’t invite anyone who is going to make you unhappy on your special day. The only people “entitled” to be there are you and Fiance  if you get right down to it :).

Post # 14
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Jayparadise: If it is going to upset you, THE BRIDE, than do you invite her. Explain the situation to her Boyfriend or Best Friend and say you are not comfortable with that. If he gets upset, oh well. It’s his problem he is dating a liar.

Post # 15
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I mean DO NOT invite her.

Post # 16
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Jayparadise: There is some pic floating around on the net with a sign that says ‘Not forgiving someone is like letting them live rent free in your head’.  She is what she is. Go on with your life.  

When she came to your engagement party she didn’t say a word.  I think that is great.  Would you rather she came up to you and brought up the past and got into a dramatic episode with you?  She is the Girlfriend of your FIs best friend.  You two are going to probably be around each other a lot in the future.  So what if her apology wasn’t sincere?  You know what you know about her so treat her accordingly.  You don’t have to be friends.  Just be civil/drame free.  She did that at your engagement party.  She could have spoken but she didn’t.  Maybe she didn’t know what to say or how to approach you.  Would you have known what to say or how to approach her if the situation was reversed?  What happened is better than a scene.  If you tell people you don’t want her there that makes you look immature.  Take the high road.  When she comes to your wedding just treat her like a +1 of a cousin or something.  If the opportunity presents itself say politely say hello and keep moving.  If not, oh well.  You’ll have other people there that love you and care for you.  

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