(Closed) I hate long distance.

posted 5 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 2
21 posts

I feel you in that it really sucks! My boyfriend is military and it’s not the days leading up to seeing him that suck – it’s the days just after. I only see him maybe 3 times a year and with no end to that in sight otherwise we are seriously discussing getting engaged in about a year. I mean, we’ve been discussing it for a year or more already, but now with it being closer it’s just more real somehow. 

We Skype, message, text, call, and, when we can, visit. It’s infrequent at best and expensive and it sucks. He sees me on winter and summer block leave and I visit him once or twice a year as well, but the flights and accommodations and gas and everything really do add up. I just went up to the NE USA to be there at the ceremony for his return from deployment, so that means the flight for me, a place for us to stay since he’s in barracks, rental car because he sold his before going to the Middle East, gas, food, then a rental car for him because acquiring the car he purchased had a few hiccups, etc. And I was REALLY fortunately that he has a desk job that allowed him to send me messages while working his endless 12 on 12 off shifts all through deployments. He wasn’t out in any sort of real danger. We CONSTANTLY talk night and day and every time I see him it feels more frustrating to sleep alone and rely on technology just to hear his voice. 

So yes, I feel you. Keep in mind though – you are already engaged. He wants to spend his life with you. Sounds like you guys have a plan for being together. If you need to count down on the calendar, so be it. Focus on some YOU time until then. If he’s coming to you then that means a lot of change for him, so let him have some of these valuable memories with his friends before he leaves them. 

I don’t have a lot of magical, worldly experience, but that’s my input anyway. 

Post # 3
1358 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center

You’re lucky that your LDR has a closing date and you are engaged soon – try to focus on that 🙂 Plus, something you can fill the time with is wedding planning innocent

But yeah, I hear you. When I have my days where I am lonely and exclaim “I just wish I had someone to come home to!” my LDR boyfriend just reminds me the countdown of days till we see each other again (usually every 4-6 weeks) and tells me to not be so dependent on him and find things that make me happy regardless of my relationship, like a hobby or a class or other friends or a second job. While it’s annoying have to listen to that and for him to not share my feelings of isolation/need to be near people sometimes, deep down I know he’s right. This is when age differences, cultural differences, personality differences, or in your case, job/geographical differences can play a big role in defining each person’s unique circumstance.

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