(Closed) I Hate my BFF's Friend

posted 7 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
349 posts
Helper bee

If I read your post correctly, you say these other two girls are “best friends,” yet you refer to her as “MY BFF.”  Perhaps my age is showing here, but can someone actually be best friends with more than one person?  I can see how their behavior is hurtful to you, but it seems they may have quite a bit in common.  Perhaps the best approach would be to cultivate friendships with others closer to your age who share your belief that friends treat each other like they care for each other.  These two obviously missed the memo on that!  Good luck!

Post # 5
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

” I hate sounding like a typical girl… ” what does that mean ? 

Post # 6
3355 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@karineh:  “She’s MY BFF so you can’t be BFFs with her, especially if I don’t like you!” 

Post # 7
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@strawbs:  *face palm* it is one thing when men stereotype women but when my own sex does it, ugh

Post # 8
3942 posts
Honey bee

Honestly, you need to get over it. There are plenty of people my friends chose to hang out with that I can’t stand, including some of their husbands. But that’s life. Saying something to your friend will end badly, so just move on.

If she just had a baby, make a plan to visit her with some coffee. or plan a night for the two of you to go to dinner. Or just call her and talk on the phone. Stop putting yourself in situations where you constantly need to hang out with the other friend.


Post # 10
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I could be this other girl you’re describing because I have a big personality and can tell that sometimes people don’t like me because of it. I’ve also “stolen” best friends. I try to relate to the person who finds me abrasive, and then get over it if I can’t, and write them off. You don’t really give any specifics so giving you hot tips is hard.

Maybe you want to be in more Facebook pictures? Ask people to take pics of the three of you.  Go over to your friend’s house on a non-night out… especially since she just had a baby. Sounds like she’s making all the plans – why don’t you suggest something, that way you’re in control of who’s invited?

Post # 11
20 posts
  • Wedding: August 2015

treat it like a relationship and stay out. If you tell your friend that the other girl is talking behind her back etc. eventually you will become the bad guy and get major backlash. Just try and rise above and try and branch out and make new friends. This friendship doesn’t seem equally invested by both parties involved. Go find a new outlet or hobby to meet new people.

Post # 12
1720 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I would talk to your friend and just tell her “Hey I don’t get along great with your friend, do you think we could hang out just the two us sometimes? I don’t want to come in between the two of you but I would rather not have to hang out with her everytime I see you, I love you and want some alone time with you.”

If she does pop in your hang outs, just do your best to keep a smile on your face and be nice and when your friend says “That was a lot of fun!” Reply with “I’m glad you fun, I just wish your friend didn’t have to pop in everytime we hang out because I have more fun with just the two of us.”

Be honest but don’t point out the other girl’s flaws or attack her in any way, keep the conversation about you two and keep her out of if as much as possible.

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