Post # 1
Ok this is more of a vent than anything. Please don’t leave me comments saying that I am vain, or unhealthy, or shallow. It is just how I feel.
I have always had body issues. In fact when I was 13 I became bulimic. It has been an ongoing battle now for 10 years. I am not bulimic anymore, persay, and it wasn’t always about losing weight. In fact, bulimia, is really about a control issue, and food is a way of dealing with that. I would say I was more, of an overeater bulimis, rather than anorexic bulimic. I would eat soo much that my organs would hurt, that I really had no choice but to purge.However, it did all start with trying to lose weight.
After having my son, 18 months ago, I really have grown to HATE my body though. I try to pretend i don’t by wearing biknikis and such, but truth is I really dislike it. I hate my broad shoulders, and narrow hips. I hate my stretch marks on my stomache and boobs. I hate my boobs for crying out loud. They are so small, and wonky shaped, to me, they are disgusting. I won’t even take off my bra during sex.I hate my short legs, and my thick ankles, and I absolutely hate my nearly non exsistent waist line. Is not big, but it definitely isn’t defined.
Other than that, I also hate my face. Seriously. I am starting to get a frown line, at 22, I have really bad skin, acne scars, excessive facial hair, huge cheekbones, and a big nose.
There I fell better now. I hate myself. 🙁
Post # 3
Have you thought about seeking therapy for your issues, or have you in the past? I think every woman hates parts of her body…that’s just normal, but it doesn’t sound like you love anything about yourself…and I think that’s much more deep seeded than just not liking the size of your butt.
Post # 4
But the Bee loves you!! You are beautiful!
Post # 5
I went through a period of getting a help for bulimia, which was more of a group educational setions kind of thing. But never have I actually gone to a therapist. I don’t even know the first thing about finding one.
Post # 6
Agreed with @2peas…if you’re not in therapy currently, I would make that a priority. Sorry to hear that you feel that way 🙁
Post # 7
I am pretty sure too that you posted the “guess my wieght” post. I had mentioned then that I think you should seek therapy and it wasn’t to be mean, but I had a feeling that you might have had many underlying issues with your appearance. After reading this post it is obviously true. Please go talk to someone.
Post # 8
@Cash000: Check your insurance website to find a provider that accepts your insurance. Or, if you’re still in touch with people who helped you with your bulimia, I would coontact them and see if they have references for you.
Post # 9
We are our own worst critics.
That said, have you thought about starting to work out? Cardio will help and lifting weights will reshape your body some if you do it right.
Post # 10
awww *big huge hugs*!!! I know how that feels…. and I my daughter is 2 years old now. Except instead of having small boobs they are medium sized and all saggy 🙁 And ditto to pretty much everything you have said. I have been battling with depression for pretty much ever but lately it has gotten better… hang in there dear, looks aren’t everything (which I doubt you are ugly anyways). I don’t know anyone that doesn’t hate something about themselves. I am so bad, I have to put this mask on to make myself look pretty LOL
Post # 11
Thanks! Its nice to know that i’m not the only one onut there. For everyone else, I think you are right, I probably do need help.