(Closed) I hate my fiance's sister but his mom will hate me if she isn't invited

posted 2 years ago in Beehive
Post # 31
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Mrs.Massontobee :  +1 on this. I redirect my nephews all the time and there is nothing wrong with that. They’re not supposed to learn from only one person. OP I’m sorry you’re going through this and I think it’s perfectly acceptable to not invite her

Post # 32
Member
499 posts
Helper bee

There’s a difference between telling someone how to parent and guiding a child to make a better choice, especially if its to prevent damage to property. 

OP do NOT invite this woman to your wedding. If his family doesn’t understand that her attempting to choke you, no matter how long the incident took place, then they can just see you as a bitch then. I’d make sure your SO knows the stance you’re taking, make sure he’s fine with it, and let him deal with explaining it to his family if asked.

Post # 33
Member
8580 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Olivepepper :

What a cross and petulant response to the perfectly reasonable proposition that it is reasonable to ask a child not to destroy/damage something. That it was not OP’s property is largely irrelevant. As another pp said, just because one is a parent, ( or ‘Mother’ as you have it)  mean they are good at it . 

If they are my plants a child is jumping on, l don’t care who tells them to stop it, so long as someone does . 

 

 

Post # 34
Member
5863 posts
Bee Keeper

apple92 :  Why is this even a question and, more importantly, why is this being put on you? Hasn’t your fiance already cut his sister out of his life? Or is he okay with associating with people who’ve choked his soon-to-be-wife? As has been said on this forum before but is so true in so many cases- you don’t have an in-law problem, you have a fiance problem. Maybe his family is willing to sweep this heinous event under the carpet, but if your fiance is willing to do so as well, then he’s more like them than you realize. 

Post # 35
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Olivepepper :  The possible exception? I’d like to hear the argument as to why someone choosing to have kids makes me unable to verbally defend myself and my property. 

Post # 36
Member
1053 posts
Bumble bee

Did this actually happen or are you exaggerating? She choked you, as in our her hands around your throat and tried to cut off your air supply?

I feel like more than not inviting her a wedding needs to be done. Why weren’t the police involved? If she has such violent tendencies is it safe for her to be around her children?

She literally could have killed you?? And because you told her kid not to out food in the carpet?? Seems really extreme…

Post # 37
Member
6849 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Does the mother know that this actually happened? I cannot imagine a world where someone legitimately has an issue with you not inviting a person that physically assaulted you to your wedding. 

Where is your fiance in all of this?!

Post # 38
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Wait. Why hasn’t your fiancé cut his sister off completely? She literally strangled you. Is he still all buddy buddy with his sister? Are you cool with that?

 

Personally, I would’ve called the police and fucked her life up. But hey, that’s just me! 

Post # 39
Member
432 posts
Helper bee

Really can’t believe some of these responses… I suppose if she found the damn kid eating dog poo off the floor, she should have just looked the other way during that display as well. 🙄😒

Op don’t invite this shrew to your wedding. Who cares what his mother thinks. 

Post # 40
Member
1516 posts
Bumble bee

This is much bigger than your wedding day.  You and your fiance need to determine what role, if any, his family will have in your lives.

Post # 41
Member
5863 posts
Bee Keeper

I can’t believe how many posts in this thread are focusing on whether or not it’s okay to correct someone else’s child or not……

SIL put her hands around OP’s throat to strangle her. This action becomes the main issue here and it is so far beyond the realm of acceptable behaviour that it’s crossed the line into criminal behaviour. I’m not condoning any form of abuse, but IMO putting your hands around someone’s throat is far worse than even a slap or a shove, it is a move that can be viewed as immediately life threatening. 

When this occurred OP, was anyone else present? Were the police ever involved? Has she shown other instances of violent, erratic behaviour? I’m very concerned regarding the safety and well being of her children in all of this, because strangling someone is not the actions of a stable person. Even if she hasn’t raised a hand to her kids, I’d be willing to bet they’ve seen and heard all kinds of horrible stuff if this is how quickly she escalates in a disagreement with someone. I’m also getting the impression that your fiance and his family have not taken these actions nearly seriously enough. 

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