Post # 1
I really cant stand my girl friends anymore. They are so caddy and I feel left out all the time. This past weekend we went to a cabin together, with our significant others too. The whole time the girls were grouped up and dancing together and drinking. I felt left out. They were being all giggly and annoying and I didn’t want to partake in that and I didn’t feel like they were inviting me to come hang out with them either, so I hung out with the guys instead.
I wanted to go shopping with them during the weekend and they bitched about that. When we finally did go shopping they kept leaving me behind in the stores.
It was my birthday over the weekend and my spouse had said that they all had planned ahead of time that they would make me a cake while we were at the cabin. Well, my birthday came and went at the cabin and they didn’t make me a cake. I felt hurt. For everyone else’s birthdays they always do something like that. For mine they got trashed and stayed up late together making a bunch of noise so that the rest of us couldn’t sleep.
Now after the weekend they keep emailing me to ask me to pitch in on a present for the people who owned the cabin. We already pitched in to pay for a meal for the daughter and her husband of the people who owned the cabin. Now they want me to pay for a gift basket too. I told them a thank you card would be just fine, but they keep wanting to buy more. I can’t afford this, and frankly I’m tired of them bossing me around. It’s fine for them to include me when they can get money out of me, but the rest of the time they don’t want to include me in anything… Plus, the fact that they didn’t bring this up before the weekend just pisses me off. Now it’s like I’m forced to do it after the fact.
I don’t know what to do anymore and I suppose I’m just writing this to get it off my chest. But I’m really tired of these girls and I think I need some new friends. Is it normal for girls to behave like this? I don’t think they are being good friends and are being way too clique-y
Post # 3
Has it always been this way or is it a recent change? I find it hard to believe/weird if they just RANDOMLY started acting like this…But if you don’t like the way they’re treating you, talk to them about it, and if things don’t change, then move on!
Post # 4
I feel like it’s always been this way. But it’s hard to tell because we’ve really only known each other all together for a year or so. In the past year the three of them have been getting really close and I’ve been feeling left out. It doesn’t help that the three of them are going on a vacation together in 2 weeks and I couldn’t go because I couldn’t afford it. So I think they have bonded together over that and I’ve been left out during the planning and all the times they’ve gotten together to talk about it or go shopping for their trip.
Post # 5
Where are you? I’ll be your friend!
I’m sorry to hear about your birthday weekend, that was really mean and selfish of them. I agree with you that they probably don’t have good intentions when it comes to your friendship and don’t really deserve to have you chipping in $ at this point.
I also don’t do well with cliques. I’ve lost several friends because of this. I refuse to take part in them and if I feel like I’m being shunned by one I’ll usually just stop calling them or participating in any social events. Girls are really bad about being cliquey which is why I’m down so many friends over the years. At this point inmy life, I am happy to say that I was a 5 Bridesmaid or Best Man bride, two of which were sisters and the remaining three were good friends who always call on my Bday and wouldn’t dream of doing anythign to hurt my feelings. My group of girlfirends are mature, respectful, considerate and a lot of fun.
Post # 6
I often get that feeling too, with most women in fact. I only have three females I consider friends although I have a ton of female acquaintaces. I mostly hung out with boys growing up and I still tend to be more comfortable with men then women. Now that I attend parties at his friends, I try very hard to be sociable with the other wives, but I find I can only stand about 1 hour before my patience gives out and I end up sitting somewhere by myself. I can not stand endless prattling about trival BS.
Post # 7
I’m sorry that you feel this way. Honestly, this is why I only have a few very close friends. It’s hard to feel like the odd person out. If you don’t feel you are being valued as a friend, perhaps you can talk to them about it, or you can go ahead and distance yourself from them.
Post # 8
i’m sorry you feel this way. i felt like this with a few of my friends that i’ve known since high school. you sound like you’re a person like me, you keep a very close circle of friends and when things go awry it feels serious. ignore them, and call up a girlfriend you havent talked to in a while. once you start bonding with others, they will miss you and try to be better friends…if you’ll want them around by then.
Post # 9
That’s not very cool for them to act like that and for you to feel like this. I am very lucky and I have the best friends, and most of my friends have been my friends for years. Trust me when you find your girls they are your girls and will never make you feel that way. I’m not saying you don’t go through ups and downs, but you true friends don’t make you feel like that.
Post # 10
i have the same feelings about my friends too some time. i think i am really sentisive though. i hate feeling like that but i do feel left out a lot. like even if i have other plans its still nice to invite me. i always invite because its a nice gesture.
Post # 11
I went thru that phase. Where you don’t have the same likes and dislikes as your friends anymore, or you feel you have grown up a bit, and they haven’t.
You have to know when you’ve had enough. Sometimes it’s just best to move on, and keep them as acquaintinances but not as friends anymore. Sometimes groups will form closer bonds & you won’t be part of that. If it doesn’t change after a while, branch out, make new friends, and let them go.
Maybe these girls spend a lot more time together than they do with you. And it sounds like they are still in the partying phase, and you aren’t. This can break apart friendships, it did for me too.
Good friends never treat you like crap.. remember that.
Post # 12
@ella – yes I’m definitely over that party phase. But my friends, even the guys, are not over it. All they want to do is play drinking games to get wasted. I’m fine with just sitting around and drinking. But why they insist on playing some stupid flippy cup game, beer pong, or card games to get wasted fast is beyond me. Most of my friends are older than me too (late 20’s), so I don’t know why they haven’t grown out of the drinking phase yet.
I tell my husband I don’t like hanging out with them when they drink a lot like that so he tells me to just pretend to drink or drink a little. Or to not play the games and just watch. But that distances me further from the girls when they all play the games together and I’m sitting out.
Post # 13
I guess I didn’t really take into account that your husband is probably friends with their significant others… that’s a tough spot to be in.
If you decide that it’s not worth your time to maintain a close relationship with these girls, you can still be cordial with them, still be friendly when you are together, but you don’t have to socialize with them outside of these group settings.
I would say that as much as it’s a pain, you should probably try your hardest NOT to allienate yourself compeletly, as it could cause issues in your relationship. My mother and father are divorced, and partially for this reason. My mom and her circle of friends like to travel and party, drink, dance, etc, and my dad never got into it.. it caused a rift between them because my dad started to get bitter about it after a while.
Don’t try to fit in.. try to get along. Instead of playing beer pong, stand there, watch and cheer for your husband. Play the drinking games, but don’t play with alcohol. I drink a LOT of soda water when out with big drinkers, or out camping. You can enjoy the games w/o the over consumption of alcohol.
Post # 14
Wow, that sounds like they are all very immature and juvenile. I wouldn’t be able to hang out with women who acted that way….guess that’s why I have so many guy friends!