(Closed) I HATE my future in laws…

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: would you invite FIL's to ceremony and reception?
    Hell no they sound awful and you have every right to feel the way you do : (21 votes)
    36 %
    yes, if FH wants them there you should respect his wishes : (38 votes)
    64 %
  • Post # 19
    Member
    1168 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @LunaFleurLavender:  Wow! I thought my Future In-Laws were bad! I do not blame you at all for not wanting them at your wedding or reception. Yes, they are his parents, but if they don’t respect the relationship he’s in and the person he’s chosen to spend the rest of his life with, why would he want them there?? They obviously do not respect you, and in turn do not respect him or his choices.

    I think HE needs to fix this. It doesn’t need to just be, “Well, they’re my parents, I want them there.” He needs to go over there and lay it all out for them. He needs to tell them that you are his fiancee, he is going to marry you, you will be his family. He hopes to have kids with you one day and his future is with you. He needs to tell them that he knows he cannot make them like you, but he needs to demand that they respect you as a human being and because you will be his family, you will be their family, and they need to treat you as such. Then, if they are unwilling to do this, there is no reason for them to be present at a ceremony/reception celebrating a relationship they don’t seem to approve of. This puts the ball in their court. They make the choice of whether or not they are invited by how they choose to act.

    Post # 21
    Member
    1168 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @LunaFleurLavender:  I hope they come to their senses and realize that by pushing you away they will, in time, lose him. ๐Ÿ™‚

     

    Post # 22
    Member
    11535 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    @LunaFleurLavender:  on your other poll, I said if he wants them there he has that right. in no way was that about condoning racism or his abuse of his daughter. For me, The issue is at if your husband wants them there, you have a problem with him. If he doesn’t understand why the way they treat you is unacceptable, your problems are bigger than the in laws.

     

     

     

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