Post # 1
So I could use some advice. I absolutely HATE my Mother-In-Law. I never used to until recently. I have always been nice and respectful towards her. She has always favored hubby’s brother over him. She rarely called hubby but called his brother at least twice a week. 7 months ago hubby’s brother asked us to cosign on a 100k loan. We said no. His mom called whining that they will lose their house and wah wah wah ( hubby’s brother owns parents house because they have no money and neither really work). We had a big family meeting at hubby’s gma’s house( he was raised by his gma since age 8 because his parents didn’t have money to raise him and were constantly going out). Well come to find out, his mother has been spreading rumors and talking crap behind my back. She told everyone that hubby’s aunt and uncle paid for our honeymoon(which they did not) and that hubby and I didn’t spend enough time with her at our wedding and we didn’t thank them enough.( they didn’t help out one bit! and we also hand wrote personal thank yous to them). She had called hubby whining about the loan and he had her on speakphone and she was saying that they will lose their house and he needs to take care of them and his brother. I spoke up and calmly said, we are not signing it. We have our own family to think about and that is that. She then turned around and called hubby’s brother saying I was yelling at her, and called her all these nasty names and she called me an f-ing little b. Since the whole family meeting, she has not called hubby to see how he was or how the pregnancy is going. She is so two faced and acts like she is this great person when she’s around other people and says how excited she is to be a gma. I don’t want her around my son. She is not invited to the baby shower. Hubby feels the same way. My biggest fear is that she will show up at the shower because his gma is invited and so are his aunts. My other fear is that she will show up at the hospital and also when I am home with the baby. I have no problems being rude and telling her to leave. I just know that deep down hubby really wants that relationship with his mom and he just isn’t going to get it from her. She is too self absorbed and favors his brother.
The worst part is that his brother’s wife assaulted hubby and we have to go to court about that. His mom didn’t even call and ask how hubby was. She knew all about the incident because she had talked to his brother. She also has said some of the meanest and nastiest things to hubby’s mom and she is still nice to her and sends her bday cards and calls her to apologize. I have never said one mean thing to her and she has yet to apologize to me for what she said. She lied to my face and everyone else’s when she was asked why she called me what she did. Even her husband and hubby’s brother told her she said it. I hate her. I really really don’t want to be around her. The holidays are coming up and I do not want to go to his family’s xmas if they have one.
I just don’t know what to do.
Post # 3
Cut her out of your life completely.
Post # 4
Talk about toxic. I also say “cut her out.” And make it clear that until she learns to treat you and your family with respect, her presence is not desired. And make it clear to others that because his mother is spreading rumors and lies about you, you and Darling Husband have decided she cannot be part of your lives and that you’d appreciate if they do not share details about events with her because you’r afraid she will show up out of spite to ruin the event.
And then follow through on your decision. If she calls and starts ranting, hang up and refuse to be pulled into the drama.
Post # 5
WOW! Thankfully my Mother-In-Law has enough sense to act right because my hubby has had enough (at least to our faces). To ease your fears, I would have your hubby tell them that they are not invited to any of your upcoming events.
Post # 6
Yeah, I agree, be done with her. Don’t go there for Christmas, and just wash your hands of it
Post # 7
Just be done with her. You need to treat her like a child throwing a tantrum…don’t give in to her antics. She will eventually stop.
Post # 8
oooooooooooooh my goddddddddddddddddddddddd….I am so sorry you have to put up with her! She sounds like frikn sugar and gum drops…NOT!
You are pregnant which means you and hubby are in the HAPPINEST time of your lives and you don’t need stress or worries….I would cut her out and let her know not to come….but also: i’d do it in a way that doesnt stress you out…meaning don’t yell about it or get yourself all worked up, but let her know calmly and strictly that you.are.done.
I think you and hubby should enjoy this time to the MAX and not let anyone take this tme away from you because you will never have this pregnancy back…..and you don’t want to look back on this time and think of all the things that went wrong…you want positive memories:)
Post # 9
wash your hands of that toxic, dysfunctional relationship. that lady is out of her mind crazy and does not deserve to be in your life, your husband’s life, or her grandchild’s life.
Don’t feel guilt. Your obligation is to your husband and your son. Same with your husband….you and your son are his immediate family now, not her.
She needs a serious wake up call.
Post # 10
I absolutely LOVE my future mother in law, and I’m sorry that you don’t have a good relationship with yours…and I’m all for cutting her out, but honestly…you should REALLY think it through…She’s your husbands mother, and thats never going to change…
Post # 11
I’d be done with her. She has had her whole life and her son’s whole life to realize that she treats people poorly and just going back to her encourages her to behave like that. It is a terrible thing to stop associating with family, but I never saw the point in continuining to stick around for someone (even family) if they won’t change themselves when there is a major issue like this.
Post # 12
It sounds like we have the same Mother-In-Law, I actually told Fiance that she is not welcome at the baby shower, or, at this rate, the wedding. We spent the money that should have gone to my wedding dress on her TWO storage lockers because she refused to downsize, and then, one day, when Fiance handed her $270 for them, she had the nerve to pocket the money then complain we never take her out for dinner!!! THAT WAS HALF HIS PAYCHECK!
I do not want her around our child, poisoning her mind, and teaching her that behaving like a brat is the way to get things.
Post # 13
Yes, cut her out of your life, especially if your husband agrees.
it is not rude to send her away from the shower, she was not invited. it is also not rude to send her away if she shows up at your house- do not answer the door, you don’t have to!
Sorry you have to deal wth this.
Post # 14
Screw her…..cut her out!! And if you are worried she will show up at your son’s birth…you let the delivery nurses you don’t want her anywhere near …they will take it from there!! Those ladies don’t mess around!
Post # 15
Hmmm I feel bad for your son not having a relationship with his gma bc your hubby and his mom will make up and youll end up looking like the bad guy. I wouldnt BAN her from seeing the baby but def keep my distance, LONG distance lol
Post # 16
AGREE plus all this throwing her out of this place and that space spells TROUBLE