I hate my ring

posted 5 months ago in Engagement
Post # 16
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Wow. Sorry but I think that’s rude. I’m one who would accept anything my fiancé gave me. I love my ring and he didn’t even ask what type of ring I wanted before hand. 

Post # 17
13886 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

My question is this – how will your fiance react when you tell him? You’re already going behind his back to talk to jewelers about changing it – do you think that will hurt him?  I know in my case, if I didn’t like the ring, Darling Husband would be more upset that I was dishonest and going behind his back about this rather than being honest with him than he would be about me not loving the ring he picked out.

Yes,  it’s a ring you will wear for the rest of your life, but it’s also a symbol of his love and commitment that he picked out for you. You need to remember that when you decide to discuss this with him. 

Post # 19
2678 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
polkadots12 :  if you get it reset consider a wide split shank that splits to the width of the stone, then a straught band will sit against it ok, not flush, but close enough

Post # 20
2251 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
polkadots12 :  I’ll be honest here…it seems like you’re over examining the ring and finding what you don’t like about it.

On one hand, I feel like you should love your engagement ring and should have the ring of your choosing because you’re the one whose gotta wear it every day.

On the other hand, I see a beautiful ring with a large stone that is still the solitaire that you asked for, just not down to the very specific plain metal band…and dare I say, that side of me wants to call you ungrateful. 

Perhaps your fiancé wanted to meet you in the middle and get something that he thought you’d both like…you specifically said you wanted a solitaire, and you got (a very large, beautifully set) one. 

But, if you feel strongly enough to say that you *hate* it, that’s a problem that needs to be addressed. Hopefully hes still within the return window, but if he isn’t and now he knows he dropped thousands on something you *hate*? Well, how would you handle that?

Post # 21
939 posts
Busy bee

Personally I think it’s gorgeous, and I am generally on team “wait a few weeks and see if it grows on you” however, if you’re feeling really strongly about it then it may be best to go back in if you’re still in the return window. Maybe you could get a plain settting for the diamond and have the smaller diamonds and gold made into your wedding ring from the original setting?

Post # 22
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Shreveport, LA

I think your ring is beautiful but 100% get it if you don’t like it. My husband proposed with a solitaire and I wanted pave so the opposite of your situation but kinda the same. I did talk to him and he was fine with us having a setting custom made….he said he actually figured I’d want something more blingy and didn’t mind at all. So if you’ve talked to him and he’s okay with it than just change to a solitaire I don’t see a problem with it. Good luck in whatever you decide and please keep us posted. 

Post # 23
9145 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
polkadots12 :  

l do sympathise on not wanting a curved wedding ring. I have always been a bit uncomfortable with the idea that one’s wedding ring has to be idk, deformed , to fit the engagement ring. And l , like you prefer plain metal wedding rings too. 
I agree with the pp who said go and try on several plain wedding rings with your engagement ring  to see if there is a profile you like . 

l just remembered though, you say you ‘hate’ your engagement ring . If you really do, l don’t know what to suggest as nothing you could say to your fi could make up for telling him that, poor guy. But maybe you are just using the word ‘hate’ to mean ‘not quite happy with ‘ as seems to be common now. 

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