(Closed) I hate my ring

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
1186 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
purrington: Maybe he doesnt know the difference between a wedding band & an engagement ring, you could try telling him that usually the band comes second & is supposed to compliment the ring. Maybe in a few years you can get a ring with it, but if you tell him you hate it & thats why you dont wear it, its going to really hurt his feelings if he has already taken offense to that suggestion.  Maybe you could get a cheapy walmart ring to match it for now & just say that it compliments it well, but step carefully. you dont want your engagement to bring issues into the relationship. 

Post # 3
Member
862 posts
Busy bee

You need to sit down with him and have an open honest adult conversation, which will not be easy. Could you possibly use the ring that he gave you as your wedding band and get a different engagement ring? Then you can still wear it when you are married and it can still be symbolic.

Post # 4
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Ugh that sucks 🙁 Try talking to him again… if he cares how you feel he should try to understand. 

How is the rest of your relationship? Are things good otherwise? Are you excited to marry him?

It sounds like your more upset that you think he ‘cheaped out’… which is understandable. 

Post # 5
Member
925 posts
Busy bee

Is it possible that he cant afford it?

Post # 6
Member
7414 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
purrington:  My DH didn’t know that engagement rings and wedding bands were different things.  He was jokingly pissed that I get 2 and he only gets one.  Maybe he didn’t realize that he bought you a wedding or anniversary band. 

Maybe when you go shopping for wedding rings you can get your engagement-style ring then.  Lots of people have rings that aren’t what most people think of when they say engagement ring.  Do you actually hate the ring or do you just wish it was more of a traditional engagement ring style?

Post # 9
Member
5559 posts
Bee Keeper

Well, you certainly are entitled, it’s your ring!  However, hurt feelings are an entirely different beast.  “Honey would it be okay if I used this as my matching band and found a different ering to go with it?”.  I don’t know how else to gingerly put it.  But I wish you luck!

Post # 10
Member
1319 posts
Bumble bee

I would say “look Fiance, I really love and appreciate the ring you got me, but that time between getting engaged and getting married is the only time women get to wear JUST the engagement ring, and it symbolizes to other women that you just got engaged (so they can congratulate you and ask about wedding plans), while just a band symbolizes that you’re already married. Would it be okay to look at [berricle, overstock, any place with cheap CZ rings] for a ring to wear so I can enjoy that part of just being engaged, and wear the ring you got me on a different finger? It’s just a lady thing, it’s dumb, I just want that part of it for awhile.” And then you can pick one out that you like, and then maybe ask for a diamond version (if that’s what you want) as like a 5 or 10 year anniversary present

Idk just spitballing here 😛

Post # 11
Member
1756 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I had a friend who had a wedding band as her engagement ring- it was lovely and she got the rock at the wedding.  Why not suggest that?

Post # 12
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
Audrey2_sings:  I was going to say the same thing! I know it’s the norm in the US and UK to have a diamond/other gemstones ring as an engagement ring but that doesn’t mean you can’t do the reverse. Where I come from (Southeast Asia), your engagement ring can be any kind of ring. I have seen solitaires, clusters and plain bands as engagement rings. you can even forego the ring like me XD However, I do understand the OP’s situation. You just want to love the ring. So if you do not like the idea of doing the reverse, I think you should keep the band as your wedding ring and get a ring with a centre stone as your engagement ring 🙂 But have you already gotten the matching wedding rings? 

  • This reply was modified 6 years ago by pyrefly.
Post # 13
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee

Why are you lying to your fiance? You should feel comfortable talking to him about this. If he can’t afford a different ring, or thought you’d like this but was misguided, work out a plan to get something you’d like better.

And, Groupon usually has free returns. Check the fine print again.

Post # 14
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May

I  would rock the band and get an engagement looking ring to use when it comes time to pick a wedding band. That way you’ll have both traditional styles just the order was reversed. If anyone asks,  show off that band and tell em 

“We’re changing up the order. This is my engagement band and I’ll get a big old rock for the wedding. “

Or rock two bands inspired by Audrey Hepburn.  She wore an eternity band as her ering.

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