(Closed) I hate my sister's relationship

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sorry to hear this.  I know exactly how you feel- my brother and dad have basically done the same things.  The feeling that you’re not important is awful- Sorry you have to feel that!

 I’ve told my dad that I have never and will never beg anyone to “give” me their attention- and basically he stopped talking to me for a few weeks.  I’m guessing b/c my comment cut a little deep (I’ve NEVER been his priority and it is NO secret).  My mom had a small get together for family last weekend for my bday- my dad and his gf showed- and neither of them even bothered to speak to me except to tell me goodbye.  I found out later- the gf was upset with my mom for introducing my gparents as her “in laws”… lng story but my mom is VERY close to my dad’s parents— her picture is still up in their house.. and this hurt the gf’s feelings (not sure why just now… she’s been with my dad for a few years- and they visit often- sometimes at the same time as my mom…. I know it is unconventional- but I’ve found divorce does weird things to families- and everyone just has to agree that it is “normal”.

My brother- I don’t even know where to begin.  His wife. ugh.  I’ll leave it at that.  They/He/She  (it was a joint decision,)has isolated him by thousands of miles from his friends and family and sucked him into her very unhappy, white trash life.  I can’t even relate to him anymore.  I see him following so many of my dad’s mistakes in life- and if I bring it up— he just tells you what you want to hear.  Nothing improves.

It seems that some people struggle in juggling having more than one “significant” relationship at a time.  I really hope that she eventually understands that she is isolating herself and comes out of this.  It is not healthy to only have one relationship like this.  And, obviously- talking to her about this is not helping.  Sadly, maybe she will just have to come up with this revelation on her own.

 

Post # 5
Hostess
7560 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

This situation happened with my one my best friends. Unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do to make her come to her senses. The more you criticise her about it, the further away you’ll push her. So instead, you should embrace her relationship. Make friends with her boyfriend and try to hang out with them together. Talk to her about how great he is, become her confidant again. Once she realizes that you can be a positive part of her relationship, you may become a big part of her life again. 

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