Post # 1
I checked out my venue yesterday and now I hate my small wedding so much!! =(
I know I should not be like this because Fiance bought a house for us and we need the money. We don’t have a lot of close friends here, just relatives. (We immigrated here around 10yrs ago.) That’s why we can’t go for a big wedding. We can only have a small wedding in a small venue just so it feels more intimate.
So I picked a small room that can fit 80 guests as my reception venue. It’s in a Chinese restaurant and I was pretty happy about it. (Usually Chinese restaurant does not provide separated small room, they use some sort of “dividers” in a big dining hall to separate wedding parties…)
But now I really hate my small wedding!! Vendor and I were talking about how to decorate my venue. I can tell he does not really care b/c my project for him is not “important”. He can’t really make $$ out of it because: 1.) My small venue only need 3 10*10 drapery & pole sets to cover the ugly wall. 2.) He can’t do the lighting becuase we can not adjust the original lighting in the venue. (i.e. We can only turn on/off of the lights.) 3.) We are not doing our first dance so we don’t need a dance floor to be set up….
I feel so sad & I am really upset every time I browsing on the internet to see other bride’s big & dreamy wedding…high ceilings, special lighting effects, DJs, close friends, lots of bridemaids…etc.
And due to our small venue, I am having a hard time to pick whom I should send out invitation to….
Can anyone give me some comforts? Fiance said I should be happy (We got a house, I have a big engagement ring) He said I should realize wedding is not the most important thing in our marriage and nobody will laugh at my small wedding…
I am in my tears…
Post # 3
80 does not sound too small, I have 70 and I think its fairly big. I think you are more upset by your venue and think you should look for another one. Have you paid any deposits?
Post # 4
I’m sorry you are feeling so emotional right now. I assure you that no one will laugh at your small and intimate wedding. There are lots of ways to decorate to make the space look beautiful and dreamy without all the tall ceilings, special lightening effects, and bling. Plus, in my opinion, small spaces are easier to decorate because you need less stuff to make it look attractive (and can therefore spend more money on each piece!).
I’m sure if you post photos of your space, your ideas, and your theme or color scheme that the ladies here will be happy to help you come up ideas!
Keep your head held high. You’re going to have a great, beautiful, dreamy wedding – even though it’s small!
Post # 5
You can definitely adjust the ambiance in the room with alternate lighting! Look into uplights and candle light, etc! You could have the room lights off if you include the appropriate amt of alternate lighting! It’s not really adjusting the original lighting, all you’d need is outlets to plug in!
And weddings aren’t about the looks etc, its about marrying the man/woman you love! At the end of the day, nothing else will matter except the “i do”!
I’m also disappointed with some aspects of my wedding, but I have to make due and find alternate ways of decorating to give the wedding the feel I want! We don’t really have any close friends as well, I think a total of 6/100 are friends. The other 94 is all family.
Good luck! We’re here to support you =)
Post # 6
Yes I paid deposit already. This venue is the only place that can provide good food (10 course meal) and privacy in a Chinese wedding setting.
Fiance is not going to change the venue b/c he will complain the food. We have been to a chinese wedding is a really nice venue but the food disappointed us. We left the wedding hungry and that’s why we go with traditional Chinese food in a Chinese restaurant.
Post # 7
@LittleBruin: Count your blessings hun. You’re getting married!! What I wouldn’t give to be able to say that. At least you are well on your way to starting your life with the man you love. In my life I’ve always done the same thing with comparing myself to others and I’m telling you, that brings nothing but unhappiness. There will ALWAYS be someone who has more than you–whether it’s a bigger wedding or something else. So I really encourage you to look to everything that you do have and if you are going to compare yourself to others, consider the fact that many people are still waiting to get married…like me! Just be happy with what you have. Otherwise, you will regret not enjoying this time in your life.
Post # 8
Post # 9
Which vendor are you referring to? If you have a vendor who is treating you like anything less than a million dollars (regardless of how small your wedding is and how much they are making off it), then you might want to find someone else. Don’t let someone who doesn’t understand customer service make you hate your wedding. 70 people is a nice size, a restaurant can be a great venue, and intimate weddings make for some really great memories. Nobody is going to laugh. The most important thing IS that you are getting married, but you also have the ability to make the small and intimate wedding everything that is you want. Decide what is important TO YOU and then think of ways to incorporate those things into your day. When it comes to weddings, size doesn’t matter. What matters is that it reflects who you are and what you and your fiance love and enjoy, and that at the end of it, you are married. Don’t be discouraged; it will turn out great!
Post # 10
What about adding colored lighting!?! Its totally Do’able to created DIY uplighting!!! And for very cheap!
We are having a budgeted 70-80 person wedding. Unfortunately I can not relate to your venue frustration, because we tried everything to make it happen at this location, one being that we SLASHED our guest list by excluding majority of our friends. I’ve had some regret for opting for a smaller wedding, but in the end I think its going to be amazing and imtimate! Which many brides/grooms dont get on their wedding day, that I bet most do!
You have a beautiful home and seems to sound like an amazing man to take care of you for the rest of your lives together! Count your blessings! Plus you can always go big for a Renewal or Anniversary, as your own family and lives grow together! =)
Post # 11
I am referring to the decoration vendor. He said he will give me the quotes but I have not received it yet. (Maybe I should not be so stessed out b/c we just talked yesterday.)
For the lighting, problem is I can’t really have a centerpiece b/c the meals are in big plates on lazy susan. They will get in the way when ppl getting the food etc. Candles wont work if we turn off all the lights.
Attached are the pics of the venue with all the lights on. The room is not decorated yet. It is the original setting of the venue.
I will hang 4 Chines Lanterns on the ceiling, Color theme is red and gold. The 3rd pic- wall with doors and glasses will be covered by drapery. And I will add seat covers.
[attachment=1696953,210181] [attachment=1696953,210182] [attachment=1696953,210183]
Post # 13
I understand how you feel. I had 70 at my wedding years ago and it didn’t feel that small but I do remember feeling so envious at others who didn’t have a budget like mine. It can really suck. I can honestly tell you that I’ve been to a lot of weddings. Some really, really fancy and totally extravagant, and beautiful (and ones I would love to have had), but my absolute favorite was the wedding of my college roommate. She may have had less than 100 people, in one smaller venue/room, and it was just so intimate and beautiful. Forget the attitude of the vendor. I’m sure your wedding will be fabulous and I know so many people that really enjoy a wedding with not as many guests since it’s so much more intimate. Best of luck!
Post # 14
Just saw your pics…and your place is beautiful!
Post # 15
Oh, I am sorry that you feel that way. What about other decor ideas-like centerpieces? Have you ever seen the Intimate Wedding site? I bet if you went on that site you would feel a lot better. I had over 100 people at my wedding -many years ago, because I had a large extended family, now most of them are passed on, so my daughter’s wedding was only 65 people, and I loved her wedding! It was so much more fun, because everyone could and did mingle more.
Post # 16
Your venue looks really pretty! I think if the florist/decorator doesn’t seem enthusiastic or is treating you like your wedding isn’t important, you should just find another florist. Maybe instead of centerpieces, you could do some pretty decor on the back of the chairs, or have more Chinese lanterns hanging from the ceiling/walls. Whatever you do, I’m sure your wedding will be perfect and fun, and it sounds like your Fiance is a great guy.