Post # 1
This is just a vent and rant about how much I HATE this girl and dread my wedding because of her. She is not my Fin sister but his Sister in law. His brother and this girl are the ones that introduced us and at the time she was like my best friend. She was planning her wedding at the time of introducing us and after about a month of us actually liking each other she decided she didn’t want us to be together anymore. TOO BAD! She said I was trying to TAKE away her family….I am sure this feelings are even stronger since we are getting married.
This girl was not always true to my FIN brother and one night at a bachelorette party she made out with some random dude. My Fin asked about what happened at the Bachelorette party and I said what happens at the party stays at the party and he just started laughing and said why did ________ kiss someone. AND I froze. Um I came clean and thus he called the girl and said she needed to tell his brother or he would. Well he gave her a week and she didnt so HE told him brother. This was the end of our friendship and to top it off his brother decided he could over look it but blamed me for the thing happening and both of them have hated me from that day forward. NOTE THIS WAS ALMOST 3 YEARS AGO.
They didn’t like me so much that they UNINVITED me to their wedding and told my fin (the best man) he could bring anyone he wanted for his plus one other then me.
I have not seen them for almost two years but everything relating to me they had ignored or acted like I don’t exist. Even if the Fin specifically asks for something. I feel bad killing his relationship with his brother. But I swear these people that are older then us act like little kids.
I happen to get the pleasure of seeing them about a month ago for a family get together and his brother at least said hi and had a few things to say. The SIL though refused to say hi. I talked to her and she ignored. She said a few things under her breath that I heard but no one else did. I am very sensitive and end up going home crying over this. I am sure in her head it is if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all. IT IS RUDE!
Well fast forward to the point of this. I worry that she is going to ruin my wedding day. I can’t uninvite her to my wedding like she did for me. I personally think she will doing something when they say does anyone have objections or she will out and out ignore me and I know I want to say it wont bother me BUT it will.
In this family no one wants to talk about it. How can I handle the factor of this? UGH
Post # 3
wow! i’m sorry. what does your Future In-Laws say about it. I would think that they wouldn’t want there daugther in laws to hate each other. it would split the family. i would talk to them and see if they can help end this. because its not like she is just a girlfriend- she is going to be in your and their lives for a very long time. And what happens when you both have kids? Are they not going to play together? I think that would break FIM heart. Talk to your in laws, see if they can help.
Post # 4
My Boyfriend or Best Friend doesn’t much like the sound of my brother (and he’s starting to understand why we aren’t close as far as siblings go.) But then my brother only got his court-mandated anger management and bipolar medication a few years after he moved out (I like my brother much better now.) And his future grandmother-in-law is a psychotic OCD b**** that my dad joined the military to get away from. One of my cousins chose to stay with an abusive man rather than her two-month-old (who had broken bones that had already healed).
Part of his family has disowned him, his mom, and his siblings because his dad lied to them about his mom. There are other things surrounding his dad that shouldn’t be public knowledge as well. I really don’t want to have a proper conversation with the man. Also, my Boyfriend or Best Friend closest childhood friend is a complete loser who only talks to my Boyfriend or Best Friend when he wants money – he just asked if he and his fiancee could move in with us. No way in hell.
In short, families suck. Getting into a dysfunctional family situation sucks. But really, on your wedding day, you are not only celebrating your wedding, but you’re celebrating the joining of your families. For his sake, for his parents’ sake, for his brother’s sake… accept that you have to have someone you dislike at your wedding. And… they can leave out the part asking for any objections. I might recommend that. She might ignore you, she might not come, she might be a b****. But she’s going to be in your family. Just remind yourself that he’s worth putting up with her for. 🙂
Edit: For the record, I did not see my cousins except for special occasions growing up. My kids will only see their cousins once a year or so. I grew up military, then joined the military, so I’m used to being not-real-close to my extended family.
Post # 5
I think that anyone who has someone who may try to ruin a wedding should have a “bouncer” on alert! 🙂
Post # 6
The Future In-Laws know that we had a great friendship and something ended it. The Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t want to know any details and will change the subject when I bring it up. She has the Future Sister-In-Law on a pedestal because she thinks she is great….wish I could knock her down by saying really do you know what she did to YOUR son. Dude the night they got engaged she went out with her girls and not him and took off her engagement ring and left it in the car then put it back on before going home. OH BOY that is just great!
@cyneswith Good idea about leaving that out. I think I will ask to skip that line. I just think she will caugh or something more so then standing up.
And we both already have kids. They do not have their son call me Aunt though. We will see if that changes with the wedding. Our son calls them Aunt and Uncle.
Oh and she will be at the wedding her husband and son are in the wedding.
Post # 7
Oh and a side note is that we (fin and me) have brought this up to them and they both swear that they don’t have any issues with me and it is in my head. That I need to let it go. Well actions speak louder then words.