Post # 17
I agree with other posts! Decide on the things that are very important to you (dress, colors, etc) and do what you want with them. Then for other things, have your Future Mother-In-Law plan the rest or hand off the task to someone else. It seems the big idea of the wedding isn’t changing, so make the best of what you can. Also, when my Future Mother-In-Law was annoying me with her requests, my mother suggested my fiancé talk to her and explain what we wanted vs. what she wanted….maybe you can have your fiancé talk to his parents. And, you don’t need toshares every detail with them….they can have an input on things they don’t know about or what has already been bought/selected. Hope my suggestions and the others ideas help! Good luck!
Post # 18
I can relate to how you are feeling and I agree with the above post from @pinkfrog. I as well wanted a small destination wedding.. I said it Over and over but my fiancÃ© had no care in the world to do it!! So. Ow I’m stuck with all the plans for it. I agree with what she said, pick the stuff you really care about, and let everything else pan out. I cared about me venue, bar, and dress. I told my Fiance, you wanted the big traditional wedding, you need to start planing, figuring out what you want, and put some money into it! Lol. At the end of the day, make it as romantic as you wanted it to be, even if it is way bigger than you expected. You can have your vision cme to life, where ever the wedding will take place. Look at DIY stuff, I bought my invites from michaels, which came with invites, thank yous, and response cards, and I spent under 75.00, and they are beautiful! I understand the BMs thing. My Maid/Matron of Honor is pregnant, due in June, and I am very concerned with the time she will have, especially with her now kind of caring here and there turn to your other BMs, they will be more than happy to help! I am on a budget as well, and it’s the most stressful thing…. But find ways to cut costs on stuff, so you can spend the money where YOU want it to be spent…things will get better:) and you will have your special dream day!
Post # 19
‘The problem is that I can say that he needs to plan it all that I want to… he won’t do it though. He seems to think I know more about than he does, as if I’ve done this before.’
Maybe it’s just me being a b**** but I would tell him and his parents,’We sent out the STDs and I will be there at that time but the rest is up to you.’ And then I’d stick to it.
There is no way you should be planning an event that you don’t even want…IMO it will just cause resentment and that’s not a good way to start out. My FH and I discuss everything and while we don’t agree on some things if he wasn’t involved it wouldn’t get done.
Post # 20
You should go into therapy. I needed to hear that too. lol
Post # 21
I know exactly how you feel.
I’m 43, and I’ve been married twice before: 1st wedding was the whole big deal, the 2nd was a cut down verision. My parents paid for the first, my ex H’s mother paid for the second….and that was because I point blank told her if she wanted a big party for their family, she could pay for it.
This time around, I don’t want any of the ‘traditional’ stuff. Ideally, I’d get married on a beach, with a couple of witnesses. Unfortunately Fiance comes from a big family and they ‘expect’ the big party – but haven’t offered a penny towards it. I’ve told Fiance that I’m not spending a penny of MY money on it. Selfish? Maybe. I don’t care….I’m not wasting thousands on ONE day, to entertain people I don’t even know.
Due to the lack of money, I have no idea when we are getting married. I’m still hoping I can persuade Fiance to elope.
Post # 22
Ditto what PP’s said. I’m going to print out your post, stick it in my wallet and read it when I need to retain my sanity which is hanging by a thread nowadays!!!! THANK YOU!!!
Post # 23
Date twin! This is number 2 for me and I dind’t want the big shebang. In fact we had a great Destination Wedding planned but in come his parents complaining after they gave us their blessing. We changed our plans for them, put the wedding off for a year and they have not offered a bit of help. UGH!!!