- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2016
My fiance and I are supposed to get married in a little over nine months, and even though we’ve had a long engagement, we haven’t really taken advantage of it to do any planning. We picked out a church for $100 in December, but we’ve been trying to find a reception venue. We are long distance right now because I just took a job in another state, and neither of us lives in our wedding state (we’re getting married in our mutual hometown).
My parents generously offered to spend $12,000 on the wedding, but they are making me feel guilty for wanting to spend any of it. They don’t think we should pay thousands of dollars for reception space, but my dream reception venue is $4,000 and the wedding is taking place around Nashville, Tennessee, so it’s really hard to find a venue for under $3,000 anyway. I am under a lot of pressure from my family to use my fiance’s family’s church and fellowship hall, which would be free. The church is beautiful, but it really doesn’t fit with my overall vision and dream for the day. I’m trying to be ok with it, but I am really disappointed that my day is going to look nothing like I wanted it to.
We are also both vegetarians, and planned to serve delicious, gourmet vegetarian food at our reception. My mom is insisting that we either need to serve meat, or only have cake and punch, because people will be offended if we don’t serve any meat in our meal.
I feel like my wedding is less about me and my fiance and more about doing things as cheaply as possible and pleasing my parents and their guests. My mom even suggested that we have the reception in a hotel because they can do the whole thing, including food, for $1,000. I am slightly horrified by hotel weddings and receptions. Though they can be very beautiful, that just isn’t us. I’ve always pictured an outdoor setting, floaty fabrics, pastel colors, flower crowns, and rustic touches. I don’t know how to reign my mom in. There’s no way we can afford this wedding ourselves.
I am ready to throw in the towel and just elope with my fiance. Although I would like to have a wedding with about 100 guests, I feel like I will be too upset by compromising on my venue and food to really enjoy the party. My perfect plan B would be to elope in Santa Fe, New Mexico, in some scenic location and enjoy a private ceremony, toast, and honeymoon with my husband. I don’t want to be disappointed with what I feel is a half-assed wedding that won’t reflect who we are as a couple. He is really against eloping, and thinks I need to try to compromise with my mother.
What’s the best way to approach this situation?
- This topic was modified 5 years ago by coachhw.