(Closed) i hate my wedding dress :(

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 16
Hostess
7103 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

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lavenderlace: I love this dress on you. It’s beautiful. To be honest not many people could carry it off, I know I couldn’t for sure and you look stunning in it, lucky lady!

Post # 17
Member
1814 posts
Buzzing bee

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UK-bee:  

I say try on each style and narrow down what you like. All the time I get brides who think they want a ballgown and then they try it and hate it and buy like a fitted mermaid (and vice-versa). Basically everything looks different on someone else and you won’t know what you want until you try stuff on. Also dont’ be freaked out if you hate what you thought you would love. Just start over.

I usually tell girls just to be open to different styles and once you find the style you like focus on it.

Post # 18
Member
1617 posts
Bumble bee

First thing’s first…do you have enough money to buy a second dress??

My feeling is you have to keep the first one. What’s done is done UNLESS the store will give you your money back (most don’t). Maybe even get a few photos in it for your mom. But if you have the money to get a second one…I would.

Post # 19
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I did kind of the same thing and ended up with a different dress because I didn’t feel like mine “went” with the rest of the wedding. I didn’t hate the first dress, I still think it’s gorgeous, I just didn’t feel like it was “me” if that makes sense? I think the dress you chose is beautiful but it’s your day, and your dress so if you feel like you aren’t going to be happy with it then consider all your options. However, I don’t think it’s “gaudy” and it looks like it could be easily altered. Do yourself a favor, and try it on again and see how you feel before making any hasty decisions. Talk to a seamstress and see how much you can alter to make it look more like you envision if there are only a few things you dislike. One of my friends bought a corsetted bra for under her drop waist ball gown and ended up liking the dress better without it once she had it altered.   If you feel like it’s too full, you can always remove some tulle/crinoline (not sure what you have under yours). Once you take it out though, you can’t put it back in. You can also remove some of the beading if they are appliques. As some of the other posters mentioned, a separate reception dress could be an option as well. Regardless, it’s a beautiful dress and it looks great on you, but if you absolutely hate it then figure out what you can do before you don’t have time to change your mind.

Post # 20
Member
1493 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle

For my first wedding, I chose a dress that my mother loved. It was nice, but not “me”. That was one of many regrets I had about that wedding day. Good thing I got to get married a second time and pick a dress that was my style and I loved it. 

ETA: My mom paid for half of my first dress, but I was really looking for her approval because she wasn’t happy I was getting married in the first place. I paid for the second one myself. 

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 4 months ago by dracarys.
Post # 21
Member
5648 posts
Bee Keeper

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llussier:  thank you.  thats really useful and a good way to get into a groove.

Post # 23
Member
1493 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle

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lavenderlace:  I don’t know why anyone said all that nonsense, but you look fanfuckingtastic in that dress. 

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 4 months ago by dracarys.
Post # 24
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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dracarys:  +1! I completely agree.

Post # 25
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee

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lavenderlace:  I literally had the same experience. I was on my 4th dress trip over the course of about 6 months (thank goodness for a long engagement) and I was so frustrated and just kinda “over it”. The type of dress I envisioned just didn’t look right on my body and at the last appointment, I just gave up and let the consultant pull at random. My mom fell in love with my dress and I quite liked it but it didn’t give me that feeling. The consultant put the veil on me and I loved my veil. My mom was crying and I’d been in the store for over 2 hours – I said yes. Within a week, I was looking online to figure out how much I could sell it for.

Ultimately, I kept my dress due to how much I’d lose if I sold it. I don’t hate my dress, but I definitely have dress regret. I felt beautiful on my wedding day, my husband kept telling me how beautiful I looked, but definitely would not chose that dress again. As much as I am “eh” about the dress, when I see my pictures, it doesn’t upset me or make me sad. I’m actually kind of attached to it now, even if I don’t actually love it. My advice? As you mentioned, find accessories and things that you do love. Odds are, once it’s your wedding day, and your hair & makeup are done, and you’re standing in front of the love of your life – you won’t be thinking about it.

And for what it’s worth, you look lovely in both dresses! But I say keep the one you have. With a little tweaking, I think you can make it yours!

Post # 27
Member
387 posts
Helper bee

I know it’s not what you love, and I’m so sorry for that. I can’t tell you how wonderful it looks on you, though. It’s gorgeous!

Post # 28
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

If you’re not happy about it, then don’t wear it. You should wear a dress that you love. You don’t want to regret it later. I’m sure your mom will understand.

Post # 29
Member
3728 posts
Sugar bee

I’m totally of the view that people should wear what they really want to on their wedding day. Having said that I aslo have t osay that you look 100% beautiful in that gorgeous dress ( not gaudy to my eye) and I can see why your mother is besotted with it.

But it’s your wedding day and not hers so go get YOUR dream dress.

Post # 30
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Just an option you might want to consider if you do decide to go with a reception dress and are worried are about the cost. Have you looked online any for one that’s used or a sample? It still may be a bit more than you’re wanting to spend (trust me, I cringe whenever I spend money on the wedding and calculate what else we could do with that money), but if you truly don’t like your dress it couldn’t hurt to look. I think you look beautiful in both and your shape would look great in any dress! I definitely think you should talk to your seamstress and figure out exactly what you aren’t crazy about. It may be a really simple change to the dress you have to make it look exactly how you want. 

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