(Closed) I hate one of my bridesmaid :(

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Just tell her that you expect her to wear the same dress as everyone else, if she has a problem with that then she is welcome to attend as a guest.

I don’t think you can really replace her with only 2 weeks until the wedding though. I think whoever you ask will know they were a ‘back up’ and may be offended. Plus if the dress doesn’t fit you will be hard pressed to get alterations done within 2 weeks.

Post # 4
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1993

@Chingot:  No. But this sucks! I feel so bad for you :/ But to tell you the truth your Fiance NEEDS to tell her. It’s your guys’ wedding not her’s! You say what goes and what doesn’t. She obviously doesn’t care or respect your wishes, so you shouldn’t really care if her feelings get hurt. The wedding is getting closer your Fiance needs to hurry up and tell her.

Post # 5
9667 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@Lovemelovemyhorses:  +1 if she wants to be a bridesmaid she should wear the dress you chose. If she wants to wear the dress she chos she can be a guest. But you should have told her from the beginning she wasn’t a bridesmaid if you didn’t want her as one. But it is a little late now to kick her out

Post # 7
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Aww that’s too bad, so she’s gonna wear a different dress from everyone? She sounds like a bully and I think you should stand up for yourself!

Post # 8
32 posts

I can’t believe I’m reading this! Who does she think she is???  If you cut her now would it make a difference to you wedding?  Would it mess you up with the boys/numbers etc?  If not I’d sack her unless she agress to wear the dress you bought.  How bloody dare she!?  People are crazy arent they?

Post # 9
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This sucks big time! But you have to tell to wear the dress you provided or not be in the wedding. This seems sooooo weird to me. Who does this? Unfortunately I do think you should tell her sooner rather than later.

Post # 11
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

There comes a time when you gotta put your foot down

Post # 12
1430 posts
Bumble bee

Seriously, she sounds crazy. Because I don’t know anyone in their right mind that would think it is ok to just pick out whatever dress in whatever color they want after a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress was already chosen for them. This is just so weird. Put your foot down, tell her this is how you want all your Bridesmaid or Best Man to look in your wedding and if she won’t wear the dress she is more than happy to wear whatever she wants to the wedding as a guest.


Example one million why having people as BMs you don’t know or like is a horrible idea.


Good luck! – hope your FI helps you out with this.


Post # 13
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Chingot:  Normally, I go against this but you need to tell her that you plan on only getting married once and it is a day for you guys and the people who support you. Not HER day. It seems she is only trying to make the day about herself. Anybody, who invites themselves into a wedding party is an attention hog in the first place but NO ONE besides the bride should have a detachable train!! WTH!!! Please stand up for yourself or you will still regret it even years after looking at the photos. If you are worried about uneven numbers, just have a groomsmen escort 2 BMs on each arm! Talk to her and let us know how it goes! Don’t wait another day to do it,, you’re running low on time!

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