(Closed) I hate our wedding

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We have a small budget (5,000$) but I also wanted small. but for some reason I can’t bring myself to be thrilled about any of it, honestly. I can’t wait to marry my fiance so I’m kinda like, just doing what I gotta do, but yeah…

Not so thrilled about anything except him and my dress.

Post # 4
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

There is so much you can do on a small budget, you just need to be creative!  I frequented Joanne’s and bought tons of paper and interesting cardstock for all sorts of small DIY paper projects. 

For favors, I went to a nursery and they ordered several flats of succulents at a cost of about $1 per plant.  My dad built small little boxes for me (they ended up costing about $0.35 per box) and we painted them to make planters.  The finished product doubled as escort cards and favors.

Look at craigslist for votive candles and holders.  A ton of candles can add sooo much.  I had ordered 200+ from Quick Candles and have them just lying around in boxes right now.  I’d think you can find someone local who would love to sell their barely used decor for a bit of cash, but more so, to take it off their hands.

Just curious – what specifically do you feel like you are compromising on? Hang in there…it will come together just fine and look gorgeous. 

Post # 5
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i understand how you feel. i had to compromise a bit because of budget. i mean, i am having a beach destination wedding, you can’t really go wrong there. but the resort we picked was certainly not my first or ideal choice. its one of those places that has very mixed reviews on trip advisor.  i just have to stay away from reading those reviews because i get depressed otherwise. i am doing what i can to be positive and make everything as beautiful as i can.

i am sure when you get there you will be more than happy. like you said, you are having bad day.  also, i know there is a great need to stick to budget, but i think even splurging on one or 2 things can go a long way.  i did that and i know i will be soooo happy i did. i splurged on my dress and my photographer (sort of, i actually got really and a great deal for the photographer, still out of budget, but not so way out that i couldn’t justify it!).  anyway, my point is, on my wedding day, i may not be happy because the sand is as white as can be and the rooms aren’t 5 star, but i will have awesome pics in an awesome dress! amongst other little things.

Post # 6
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i just wanted to say that when you say “boring hotel banquet food” i hear good hearty food that wont leave guests hungry – something that im always thinking off when it comes to my hubby because he hates big plates and tiny ornate food that leaves him hungry

im sure there are alot of positives about your wedding – goodluck!

 

Post # 7
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I can understand how you are feeling. We also have a small budget and I really felt like I was compromising on ever aspect to fit with in the budget. Totally feel you on the ugly banquet chairs as well! It was really upsetting me  and I would have really bad days when I thought why even bother?! I kept thinking things like who cares if I have a good photog to take pics at the reception cause these hideous banquet chairs are gonna ruin the pics! Yes I am being very serious. I actually took alittle down time from all the planning and everything. I spent some good quality time with my FH and I feel a lot better about things now. It has gotten a lot closer to our date so now I am just really excited for everthing. I guess for me I realized yes it would great if I could get and have everything that I want for the wedding so it would be my vision of my perfect wedding. But for me and us as a couple, we have had to compromise on pretty much everything in life, and it has all worked out “perfect” anyway. For me I am thinking of it more now as a fun celebration of us and not so much my wedding. I hope you can get to a place were you are feeling better about everything. I wish I could say ours turned out ok and I don’t have any regrets but we still have 3 months to go.

Post # 8
Member
3255 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

“All you really need is the bride, the groom, and the marriage license. Everything else is fluff that no one, maybe even including you, will remember in twenty years.” 

I read this quotation in a bridal magazine, and I think it really sums up what a wedding SHOULD be about. It’s so easy to get caught up in the details like the food, the cake, or the decorations, but stay focused on what this wedding is all about and why it matters so much to you.

I’m also compromising on a lot of the “small stuff” because we don’t have a lot of money; it got me down at first, but now I’m just focusing on how exciting it is that I’m marrying my best friend, and I feel so much better. 🙂 Keep your head up!

Post # 9
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I understand how you feel….

I can only have a small wedding because we don’t have a lot of friends here. I cried for 3 hours straight becuase my parents decided not to have our wedding in our home country…

Try to pick one thing you can’t compromise. For me, it is the photog and vediog.

If you can pick one thing you are happy about, it will be easier for you to plan your wedding.

I am also greatful that I have a big rock on my finger. At leaste that is something I can look at everyday 🙂

Take care!

Post # 10
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

@kitzy: hey! So did you check the falmers almanac and see what the chance of rain is in June? I bet you’d be ok! Can you post a pic of the  chairs? Is there a way you can cover them?

Post # 11
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I feel the same way, also on a small budget and it’s kind of overwhelming to even log on to this website and see some of the extravagent items other brides can afford…my FH doesn’t understand why I even look through these boards becasue it just depresses me.  We have compromised a lot too, I also feel sometimes like “I hate my wedding” and it hasn’t even happened yet : ( 

I just keep telling myself that in the end I will be married to the man I love and thats all that matters…yadda, yaddah.  lol   I feel like it’s going to be jsut another generic wedding, boring banquet food, cheap amateur photog, etc.  I like to think that once it’s all said and done, everyone will have had a good time and remember the laughter, the dancing and the time spent with family and friends and not that I didn’t have the most beautiful centerpieces, the premium liquors and the most amazing food ever!    Hang in there hun, not every girl can have it all, you’re not alone.  Try to make the best of what you have I guess and try to remember the real reason for a wedding in the first place….Good Luck.   : )

Post # 12
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

You have a few months, can you look at other options that would make you happy?Other venues maybe that have an equally beautiful backup plan?

Post # 13
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

So sorry to hear you are not feeling happy about your wedding at the moment, kitzy. 

I guess your options are –

1. Don’t bother having a wedding at all

2. Change what you can to make you feel better about your wedding

3.  Accept that there are no changes you can make due to financial restrictions and try to enjoy what you have through acknowledging this is as good as it’s going to get.

4.  Make things worse for yourself (of course you don’t want this option!)

 

I hope you feel better soon.  Good luck hun. 

Post # 14
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Don’t feel down fellow bee. We’re all on budgets of different shapes and sizes. All of these wedding photos can really get a gal caught up and I honestly think a lot of it stems from the dreaded “wedding industry”. Keep in mind that your day will be beautiful because you will be there with the love of your life and your most special friends and family. And believe me, people will remember you/hubby, the food (uhm can I just say hotel food is usually pretty darn good), the dancing (turn on a boom box and I’m there having a great time), and well, that’s about it lol.

Post # 15
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

i suggest taking a break from planning…back in october i felt so overwhelmed that i just stopped. (i never left the bee though!) but for a few weeks i just didnt do anything for the weddding and i think it really helped clear my head a little bit.

Post # 16
Member
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

There is alot you can do on a small budget.  I think a wedding is in the details.  You can get some really inexpensive and easy DIYs off of this site and so many more.  When I first started doing my wedding on a small budget I was getting really unhappy that, I too, wasn’t getting the wedding I wanted.  After talking to people on several boards, I decided that I could DIY a ton of things that I was seeing in inspirational photos and magazines.  Now I am excited about the way things are turning out.  I saved enough money in the DIY, I am even getting the chair covers I wanted.   Wedding planning is fun again.

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