I hate secret santa gifting tradition…..

posted 2 years ago in Holidays
Post # 2
4864 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Suggest playing dirty Santa?

Post # 3
9611 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

My husband’s family does the same and I’m not a fan but it’s thier tradition so I go along with it. What does make it easier that everyone makes up a list of stuff they’d like to get. Perhaps you could suggest this? 

Post # 4
9604 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

just do your best and dont worry about it! I doubt anyone is expecting the most amazing and personalized gift ever.

Post # 5
5121 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

Yeah that’s kind of frustrating when you really don’t know the person. You just need to do something generic. I’ve seen people do starbucks card with one of their reusable cups or a netflix gift card with popcorn and candy, I thought those were pretty decent and something basically anyone would enjoy. 

My family used to do a gift game with all the adults, like the white elephant game, but with actual useful gifts not joke gifts. It’s the one where people open gifts and steal gifts from each other. I always thought that was fun and you didn’t have to buy for a specific person.

Post # 6
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I usually have a few small friends gifts and/or Secret Santa things per year. I always buy the same thing for everyone each year. Makes it easier! 

For example, this year I got people an expensive an expensive water bottle (Yeti and/or Swell) and add some hot chocolate or tea. Awesome present, but a lot of people won’t spend $35 on a water bottle.

And a gift receipt. always a gift receipt!

 (can find Swell bottles cheaper than on Amazon, this just gives you an idea)





Post # 7
1063 posts
Bumble bee

My exhusband’s family did the secret santa thing too. It drove me nuts! The kicker was that it wasn’t ONE name you pulled, it was like 4. Secret santa between the siblings and their SOs. Another for this dad’s side, another for the mom’s side, and one between all the cousins. So yeah I had to go out and find gifts for 4 additional people I wouldn’t otherwise give a gift to.

It started as just a name but after so many years we started to put in suggestions. I got tired of the hat,scarf, glove sets so I eventually would ask for a restaurant gift card. That way I wasn’t stuck with a gift card to a store I didn’t shop at. 

Post # 8
995 posts
Busy bee

My SO’s family does a dirty Santa thing where you just re gift something you got that you didn’t like. Instead of spending money. That plus where we draw names but you gotta tell what you want.

I don’t like buying gifts period. Would be fine with none given to me as well. I guess I am cheap.

Post # 9
1761 posts
Buzzing bee

My family does this but we also give a category of gift we’d like or store we like plus a money limit so the person has a better idea of what to give. Then we guess who our secret santa was and that’s the funnest part.

Post # 10
3405 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

My husband’s family is doing “boy and girl white elephant” this year. So I have to find a gift that potentially all the women will like, and one for all the men to be from Darling Husband. 😩

Next year, suggest doing Elfster. It’s a way of doing secret Santa, and everyone gets to make a wish list. So you’re anonymously able to see what they want.

Get something that is personalised and cute, like from Uncommon Goods. I got my Mother-In-Law a cutting board from there a fee years ago and she cried. I got my SIL a pillow from there last year and she cried.

Post # 11
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Kslim13 :  My family does Secret Santa.  I have 6 siblings, 4 siblings-in-law, and 7 and counting nieces/nephews.  We have an exchange between siblings and then one for the cousins to do.  I appreciate the fact that we do this so I can instead focus on getting one good gift.  The downside to this is there are definitely names that I prefer to get than others.  While finding a great gift for a certain person you may not know well can be exhausting, I personally would rather do that than worry about buying all 6 of my siblings and their spouses gifts.  This year is the first year my wife is in it and she got my brother-in-law who she has met maybe 3 times so I am sure she feels your pain.  If you are stuck trying to get something, why not ask for suggestions from that sibling who’s SO you drew or ask your husband for advice?  I gave my wife a list of things he is into (coffee, our NFL team, etc) and she came up with a gift from that.  Maybe suggest doing a type of cheat sheet with everyone’s hobbies/interests listed?  Like have everyone list occupation, top things to do in free time, favorites, etc.

Post # 12
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I do secret santa with my friend group each year. There’s secret santa websites that will take everyone’s names and emails and email you who you get. It has a really nice wishlist option.

Post # 13
387 posts
Helper bee

Kslim13 :  Maybe you can suggest, or have your Darling Husband suggest, that everyone makes a wishlist of things they would like to get? I know you don’t really want to give a gift card, and everyone’s different, but frankly I’d prefer a gift card to a store I frequent than some generic gift I’ll probably never use. I like a pp’s idea of a Starbucks reusable tumbler with a gift card inside. It doesn’t have to be the exact same if the person doesn’t like Starbucks, but it’s a good idea to follow that theme. If you get one of DH’s sibling’s SO’s, I would just ask that sibling to give some ideas about what their SO likes. 

Post # 14
2014 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

One side of my Fiance family does this. It sucks. They don’t eve give us ideas on what they like, want, or need so we are left figuring it out, or asking them. 

Last year they bought me perfume. I was actually pretty upset about it. 1. They went over the $40 limit. (they spent like $100) 2. I get migraines and can’t use most perfumes. 3. They didn’t ask anyone what I might have liked! I returned it to the store, but sitting there trying to smile when they quick smell I took made me sick wasn’t fun at all. 

Post # 15
2925 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

My husband’s family does Secret Santa too.  He is one of 5 kids and all of them are married, so there’s 10 of us total.  We all buy for DH’s parents and all the nieces and nephews and then we pull a name and have a $100 limit (yes, his family are big spenders).  This is the first year we’ve all made a wish list and it has made things so much easier!  This year I got my husband’s brother’s wife and if I didn’t have her list, I would have a hard time buying for her.

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