(Closed) I hate the ring :( And the proposal was…lame?

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 62
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If the ring is not something you like, comunicate with him this issue. As for the lame proposal it is what it is. My hubby proposed to me in a hotel room. I knew he had the ring in his pocket and I know he was gonna wait till we where somewhere more romantic. But he couldn’t wait any longer and popped the question. It is still one of the greatest moments of my life. 🙂 

Post # 63
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@shrubfish09:  I think every girl wants a beautiful ring and an ideal proposal, but in reality men are quite differently minded. They have great intentions when they secretly pick out a ring, but most men also don’t have a great sense of style like women do. This often results in a ring that looks so-so to you.

Many men also are terrified and fumble through proposals. This is because they usually only do it once in their lifetimes and feel a great sense of vulnerability and allow emotion to show at that moment. Men are taught their whole lives to control emotion. So they don’t do an idealized proposal most of the time.

In the end the only thing that matters is that you have the ideal man for you and that he wants to marry you.

You will have to compromise and even give in during your whole life in marriage, you might as well start with the proposal and ring.

Post # 64
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

To be honest when my fiance purposed I HATED my ring and wanted to return it but felt SO bad that I didnt like it :/ I expressed this to him and he said wear it for a month and if I stil dont like it we can take it back…by the end of the month it had grown on my so much that I started to like it…then I started to love it…now I couldnt imagine wearing any other ring.

Post # 65
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

To be honest when my fiance purposed I HATED my ring and wanted to return it but felt SO bad that I didnt like it :/ I expressed this to him and he said wear it for a month and if I stil dont like it we can take it back…by the end of the month it had grown on my so much that I started to like it…then I started to love it…now I couldnt imagine wearing any other ring.

Post # 66
Member
378 posts
Helper bee

To the OP: It seems that you may be more frustrated at your finance’s lack of understanding and the communication breakdown that occured–than in the events of the actual proposal and ring style selected. Based on your post, it seems that you were very clear in expressing your style to him, and he acknowledged and seemingly understood it–but “failed to deliver” sort to speak. Perhaps expressing to him exactly what you have shaired in this post regarding your concerns and feelings, may remedy this. 

I understand your feelings in that you want a ring that is reflective of your style, however an engagement ring is not only a refection of the bride to be–but of the couple. In choosing another ring, would it change the love, affection, trust, and commitment symbolized by the ring you have now? So could this ring–in holding all those attributes, just as easily be “your style?”

Have a talk with him, ask questions, explain your feelings, listen to his—and please keep us posted. 🙂

 

Post # 68
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’d say get a couple of bands, and “jazz” it up a bit. You should look at some of the threads started for the “stackable look”. I think it’s a great look, and you can always change it up with future bands.

Post # 69
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

being married to someone you love should mean more to you than the proposal or the ring.

beat me up if you want but it sounds selfish and spoiled, it represents someones love and committment to you

 

Post # 70
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

As for the proposal, eh, I think as another poster said, we believe it should be soem amazing overwhelming thing that knocks us off our feet with people clapping, crying and tripping themselves over how wonderful the moment is for us.  I blame chickflicks for this.  In reality some guys are romantic and some are clever and then there are some who just aren’t.  Its got to be hard for a guy to live up to the expectations every romantic chickflick gives them.

 

As for the ring, eh, yeah I can see how you wouldn’t be thrilled with it. Its just your average run of the mill looking ring. So I agree with ya.  I gave strict instructions, plus numerous pictures from different angles on what I wanted. I havent gotten it yet, so we’ll see…

 

Is he super sensitive? Would telling him that you dislike it crush him?  Could you keep the center stone and maybe find a different band more yoru style?

Post # 72
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Maybe tell him that you would like to take him with you to have a look at other rings and see how you go…. he wants to feel as though he had a say in the matter especially since he was the one proposing and he might have felt proud of his choice …

On the other hand, you might end up loving it – we really need a pic to see what you’re talking about 🙂

Post # 73
Member
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@shrubfish09:  I actually really like the ring. It looks a lot like mine.

I love my ring! I actually picked it out 2 years ago and didnt realize it lol. I am also recently engaged and sometimes I start to worry that maybe the band is too thick and wonder what a thinner band would be like but what really matters is my Fiance loves me and I love him. That being said if you really HATE the ring, I would give it a month or so and see if it grows on you, if not then maybe exchange

Post # 74
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Don’t “sit on it a while” as people have been suggesting. That’s horrible advice that could take you outside the return period. Go back and return the ring for your money back. That way even if that store has a small selection you will be free to shop anywhere. If you decide to buy from that store, great. If not, also great. And go shopping with your man so you can pick a ring you both love.

Post # 75
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Wow, I really like your ring, actually!

I got the ring of my dreams but my SO put zero effort into the proposal. Basically he tossed me the ring over breakfast one day while I was reading Weddingbee…looking at pictures of other people’s rings. My proposal? “You’ve been waiting for this, right?” 

Honestly? It hurt my feelings a lot and I feel a lot of resentment over it. Something like two months later he took me out to a dinner at an Italian restaurant that was expensive…but that I absolutely hated. 

Anyway, my point is…you don’t like his proposal, don’t settle for the ring if you don’t like it. I got one of the crappiest proposals ever, but my SO put a shitload of effort into my ring and I can look at that and have something to hold on to at the least. 

Post # 76
Member
319 posts
Helper bee

@monkeyinasuit:  

Whoa now that’s a bad proposal!  Did you actually say yes to that?

 

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