Post # 1
Okay so I have been married two weeks now and I still don’t know how to deal with the issue I am having. I have been wanting to post this for a while, but I have held off hoping I would get over it.
Okay here goes. Every time I ever put on my dress I felt so beautiful and I loved my dress. I did my hair and make-up trial, and I loved it. On my wedding day I felt beautiful, especially when I saw the look on my husband’s face when he saw me walking down the aisle. Here is the problem. When the pictures started coming in I felt sick. I hate the way I look. I know I am over weight, it isn’t a surprise to me. I lost 25 pounds before the wedding and felt good about myself. But I can’t even look at the pictures friends and family have sent. I have a video of our first dance and I watched about 10 seconds of it and had to close it. My sister was trying to show me the really great pics she took and I couldn’t look at the ones with me in them, and I told her how I was feeling and she said I looked beautiful. I kind of lost it on her and told her to quit lying to me and I told her I felt like I looked like Jabba the Hut in drag. I am supposed to get a few pro pics this weekend and I don’t want to see them. I want to cancel the order for the photo album. Why pay for it if I don’t want to even look at them. I will print some out and put them in a book for him but I don’t want any pictures of me displayed in the frames we got.
I just felt so pretty on that day, and then I saw the pictures and I wasn’t. It’s making me so sad. I wanted to be able to look back on our day and remember how lovely it was, but I am afraid I won’t be able too. Ever. Has anyone else ever been through this? I did post some pics in recaps because I was trying to push myself through this and get excited but I can’t. I just don’t understand what is going on in my brain. It’s like I saw someone different in the mirror from the woman in the pictures. Not saying I thought I looked skinny, but I ust thought I looked better than I did.
Post # 3
I am so sorry you are feeling that way. : (. The look on your husbands face is really the truth in how you looked.
Camera’s have harsh flashes & unnatural angels & are usually not our true representation.
Did you have a good photographer with good quality lighting as opposed to rash unnatural light that points out things others don’t see?? If you looked in a mirror & felt beautiful I guarantee you were!! Keep,looking I’m sure you will find flattering pictures. I’m only 128lbs & deal with the same thing. It isn’t just you. : )
Post # 4
Someone once told me, we are our own worst critic. We see imperfections that everyone around us doesn’t notice. I feel that way about myself sometimes too. I think I look nice, and then I’ll see a photo and drive myself insane with little tidbits that bug me. My SO thinks I’m crazy!
If it helps any, I saw your recap, and I honestly think you looked absolutely beautiful and SO happy (your dress is gorgeous)!
Post # 5
I felt the same exact way you did when I first received my pictures. I was worried that my face wouldn’t photograph well because it is very round and I have a small chin. My main concern was that I would look like I had a double chin, and that’s exactly how I looked in most of my photographs. What I ended up doing was downloading a photo editing software (GIMP because it was free) and editing my chin and any other imperfections that I didn’t like. Now, I love love love my photos and have them hanging everywhere in the house, work, sending them to friends, etc. I hope you don’t mind, but I edited one of your pictures so you can get an idea of what GIMP can do. It is very user friendly.
Post # 6
Girl I can understand your pain. I am the least photogenic person you will ever meet. It takes 30+ pictures to just get one with my eyes open. Everyone else when trying on dresses takes 1-3 per dress right? They took 40-50 per dress for me because I blink, freeze, contort etc. I don’t know why I am so awful in front of a camera. I am terrified how my wedding pictures will turn out. Half the time I think I should just turn Amish to be done with the problem LOL. Keep your pictures but don’t look at them now if it stresses you out. Your perception might change in a few months.
Post # 7
Hey don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember that your friends and family aren’t professional photographers who know all about the best lighting and angles to flatter anyone. I’m sure when you see your professional pictures, those feelings of how beautiful you felt on your day and how gorgeous your hubby thought you were will shine through. If it make you feel better, explain the scenario to the photographer and ask him/her to send one photo to you. When you see how beautiful it is, you’ll be eager for the rest of them.
Post # 8
Sorry sweetie! I think we are all our own worst critics! I have the same fear, but everyone knows guest pics can turn out aweful. I had one friend who got married and she actually forbad everyone who came to her wedding to take their own pictures or post them on the internet!! LOL…she didn’t want to deal with asking people to take down the unflattering ones.
Your pro pics WILL turn out great…don’t not let guest pictures give you any indication of how your pro pics will turn out. Also, don’t cancel your wedding album, ask if you can be as involved as possible in choosing which pictures go in.
We are all guilty of being to critical of ourselves…I’m sure you looked stunning in person as well as in your pro pics! I would also, NOT be above edditing out a double chin, a pimple..anything that ruined some of my pics like another poster said.
I do feel ur pain, I am not the most photogenic person either. I get told I’m pretty in real life…but when I see pics of myself all I see is how assymetrical my nose is, or how I don’t look as skinny as I used to. AT my sister’s big quince celebration, I felt amazing, like I looked amazing but all the pictures turned out with me looking like a had a huge belly, which I didn’t even see while looking in the mirror that day otherwise I would have worn better undergarments!
Post # 9
I’m so sorry you feel that way,pictures sometimes exaggerate our flaws even the most minor ones..I’m so paranoid to have my pictures taken I am so not photogenic and I have a super round face ,tiny chin and everytime I smile I get this hideous cheek foldy thing on the side of my lips it looks horrible .we just talked to our photographer and my Fiance told him strait out “my chick isn’t photogenic she looks constipated in almost all pictures work some magic please!!” Lol and its true anyone who knows me knows I photograph horrible!! LOL have someone PhotoShop your pictures a bit and I’m sure you will love them.
Post # 10
Having had a quick peek at your recap thread let me try to assue you that you looked beautiful, radiant, happy and with curves in all the right places. We are our own worst citics sometimes.
Post # 11
Seriously, flaws that no one else sees in you are the only things you see in yourself.
I have a wonky eye in pictures- it kind of half closes funny and is basically just completely weird. It sticks out to me like a sore thumb in just about every picture I’ve ever seen of myself. I’m terrified for my wedding pictures. Then I was looking at pics from New Year’s Eve, which I spent with a friend who I just think is one of the most gorgeous women I’ve ever seen. And I posted a pic of the two of us on FB and she emailed me asking me to take it down, because all she could see was *her* wonky eye. I’d never noticed it, and I probably have 200 pictures of me and this girl over the last four or five years. So I asked her if she’d ever noticed anything off about my eyes in pics, and her response was “what are you talkin about? All I ever notice is how green they are!” The thing that stuck out more than anything and made me so self-conscious in front of the camera is something she’d never noticed.
I’d be willing to bet that’s how like 90% of our flaws look to others in pictures- almost un-noticeable. Talk to your photographer and tell them how you feel, so they make sure you’re real involved in choosing the pics for the album and also so they can work with their editing to maybe make some of it a little easier on you. But remember that no one is going to be as harsh on you as you will be.
Post # 12
Point and shoot cameras have a way of highlighting all your worst features.
In the pro pics I’m sure you’ll look absolutely lovely because they were taken by someone who knows all about lighting, angles, etc and the camera res is going to be about a billion times better, the lens capability will be a trillion times that of the point and shoots, not to mention I’m sure the photog is running them thru photoshop (you kinda have to if you shoot in RAW) I’m sure you’ll look lovely. Don’t worry…I don’t look great in unprofessional photos either. They’re a really bad representation of how you really look because they kind of flatten everything out. You lose a ton of dimension.
Post # 13
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
Wait until you get the professional photos. Becasue of the quality of your photographer’s camera, your professional photos will better represent what you actually looked like day of. I’d also recommend that if you are still unhappy, you set them aside for a while, let yourself calm down, and revist them in a few weeks or months when you’ve calmed down. Maybe with that distance, you will be able to appreciate how beautiful you look in the photos and how priceless the reminder of those memories are.
Post # 14
I just took a look at your photos & honestly I find the lighting & focus is what’s killing these photos. Wait till you get your professional photos cause these really don’t do you justice. I love the picture of you laughing with your husband at the alter but it’s blurry & your first look would have been great but your face is too dark!! 🙂 Don’t worry, the pro pics are going to be fantastic.
Post # 15
Thank you for your kind words ladies. I think it was a shock to me to see some of the pics that my frinds sent. Some are okay, but there is one at the end of the night where I finally sat down exhausted and made a funny face and my cousin posted it. I had to ask her to take it down. Our photographer did an awesome job with our family pics we did this summer so I am hoping they made me look amazing then and they will work their magic again. there is one of me and my daughter that I had to keep looking at becasue I couldn’t beleive it was me. lol My Darling Husband is so sweet, he keeps telling me how beautiful I looked and I just keep trying to remeber him trying not to cry when he saw me. I blame him for part of this. He makes me feel like I am the most beautiful woman in the world so sometimes when I look in the mirror and see me I think he needs new glasses. lol Bless him.
I am glad I am not alone in this. I found a thread after I posted where a bride looks amazing and she didn’t like her images either. that did make me feel better. Hopefully a few pro pics will look great and I will feel better. Actually as susal y’all help me feel better. Maybe this afternoon I will try to go back and look at them and not be so hard on myself.
You guys are the best!xoxo
Post # 16
@Katielee: To make you feel even better, check this out…I NEVER DO THIS, so you’re special!!
Me in a point and shoot photo…I DON’T LOOK GREAT. This is NOT how I actually look.
Me in a professional photo that Danny took…I look more like this in real life. Not EXACTLY, but more like it. (we got rid of a few blemishes and smoothed my skin a bit for a glowing effect)
See? The camera, the photographer, correct lighting, and a teeny bit of photoshop go a long way! <3