(Closed) I hate the word fiancé!

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 31
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

GroovyHippieChick:  Though I wish I had thought man-I’m-living-in-sin-with when I was so frustrated about having to use “boyfriend”. Brilliant!

Post # 32
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I only call him fiance when it fits. For example, talking to Verizon today and they offered an upgrade I wasn’t interested in but Fiance might be (sports related). I said “I need to talk to my fiance and see what he thinks” because boyfriend wasn’t appropriate, nor was husband but I clearly wasn’t going to say his name bc the Verizon people don’t know him lol

ETA: I prefer the word “partner” but it’s not as ingrained in my vocabulary as the more common words like boyfriend so it doesn’t come as naturally

Post # 33
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

beachbumm105:  I’m with you on this. I think being in my 40s made it even worse. I bought him a “Fiancé” Christmas card because it would be my only opportunity (short engagement), but I didn’t refer to him as my fiancé. Much happier with husband!


Post # 34
8963 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

This is so strange to me — why would using the right word be attention-seeking or fishing for anything? It’s just the right word. I guess it’s a little different because it’s French, but the English equivalent, “affianced” or like someone else said “betrothed” sound way worse. If you don’t feel weird saying “chaise” when talking about a chaise, or “avant garde” when you’re talking about something avant garde, there’s no reason to feel weird about fiance. That’s just what he is.

Post # 35
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Historic Chapel

beachbumm105:  I was engaged for 2 years an not once used the word fiance lol neither Darling Husband or I liked the sound of it.

Post # 36
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017 - France

It’s because it’s a French word, I love French, I get a kick out of listening to people and sometimes a simple question comes off as very snobby even though it wasn’t meant that way. 

Post # 37
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Yes it definitely is annoying to say – like if im trying to rub it in people’s face that I’m engaged. I sometimes just say my boyfriend but whatever in under 5 months I’m sure it’ll also feel weird saying “husband” to people who know it was a recent thing. “Oh you got married? Congratulations” lol

Post # 38
114 posts
Blushing bee

Feel the exact same way!!! I love so much that he IS my fiancé, but I HATE saying the word. And it doesn’t help that whenever I do just say “bf” the person just goes “umm you mean FIANCÉ!” Lol it’s very sweet, but I just can’t get away with saying anything else really


eta- this thread just made me excited to say husband though 🙂

Post # 39
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

beachbumm105:  I have always hated it too. I still call him my boyfriend . We’ve been engaged since December. 

Post # 40
12499 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I’d much rather call a Fiance a Fiance as opposed to a Boyfriend or Best Friend, which is no longer accurate. Like anything, you get used to the word fiancé if you use it enough. Just because it comes from the French does not make the word “pretentious.” 

Post # 41
6271 posts
Bee Keeper

May I just check something please?  When I use Fiance on the bee, I’m using it thinking its a short hand way to type fiancé. is that right? Or does Fiance stand for something else?  

Post # 42
7480 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

beachbumm105:  I hated saying it and never got used to it in the 14 month we were engaged. I usually just called him by name or Boyfriend or Best Friend. Many people IRL told me they felt the same way when they got engaged. I know it’s silly but it just sounded so pretentious coming out of my mouth!

Post # 44
1010 posts
Bumble bee

I refer to FH as my “partner”.  Have done that since a couple of years into our relationship, and now it’s a habit so it continues.

Post # 45
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

2 and a half years of being engaged later and I still call him my partner 🙂 


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