(Closed) i hate this nagging feeling – can i write back? (cat-lady drama)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

DUDE. That chick is crazy and manipulative. Do not feel bad. Cut her off.

That is ridiculous. It’s a cat for cryin’ out loud…Which she felt she had to hold hostage in order to have a “conversation” with you about the joys of caring for it. That is nuts.

N-V-T-S. Nuts.

Post # 4
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

How would sending this message benefit you?

Do you think she will respond, and if so, realistically what will her response be? Will you then feel compelled to respond again? (Consider that your last email was supposed to be the “last” contact; how will this be any different?)

My fear at this point is that you are facing the potential for a downward cycle, where you both repeat the same thing over and over. Why not just let it go and move on with your life? This is someone who is not local, is not particularly your friend in the first place, and who you owe no explanations or answers.

The more you engage with her, the more it makes you appear (to her) insecure about your own decisions/behavior, IMO, because your letters are coming across as increasingly defensive.

Post # 5
Member
4419 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Your message sounds fine to me.

If you want to be friends with this couple, then mend fences with them and move past the whole cat thing…  However, if you do renew your friendship with them, I would would think twice about ever asking them to babysit your cat again. 

Post # 6
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

She is not normal. You were 100% right. Just let it go. For heaven’s sake – she sent a gift to your cat now. How is that normal? If you ever wanted to apologize I would just let her know that the problem is simply that the two of you have different views of pets. You view yours as a pet and she views hers as people (honestly, it’s more than that, but I don’t know how else to describe it). You don’t ever want her watching the cat again, do you? I wouldn’t. If you apologize you might end up feeling you need to let her experience ‘the joys’ of your cat’s company again. 

Post # 7
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I didn’t read the back-story, but I get the gist from this post alone. Weird.

I say, sure, send it if you feel the need. But before you do, be clear on your goal. Do you want to:

(1) …try to save the friendship? If so, you might tone down your message (it comes across a little sarcastic – which is totally understandable under the circumstances, but not productive if you really want to salvage the friendship).

(2)… or just make your point/get closure? In that case, let ‘er rip, as is. But I would expect an escalation as a result, so you’ll probably need to decide again whether to respond or ignore once and for all.

Good luck!

 

 

Post # 9
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

She’s a little off her rocker. Why does she have to keep bringing up ANYTHING that happened? Why can’t she just let it go?

Obviously she can’t/won’t stop bringing up anything that happened. I’d let it go and stop responding to her inquires about anything having to do with the matter. If she persists in bringing it up I’d stop talking to her. 

Post # 10
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Stoppppppp… pleeeeeease… you’re letting her crazy rub off on you!  The only way to get rid of someone like this is to ignore her!  You have your cat back.  Just be happy with that.

Post # 13
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

it and was a gift FOR MY CAT

she gifted a used blanket for kitty – what she is trying to do is get the last word, dont give her the satifaction. throw the card away, give the cat the blanket and block her number/email – she is trying to be manipulative

Post # 14
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Thorpewood

I can totally understand needing closure, so if that’s why you’re doing this, then go for it!  If you want to be friends with her again, I have to say I think that may be a bad idea.  She’s kind of crazy (as you know), haha.

Post # 16
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

You should just e-mail her pictures of your cat enjoying life with you. Make sure one of them is your cat “throwing away” the banket you gifted her and the next her snuggling in a different blanket. Just kidding. Kind of. 

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