Post # 17
lol, actually the evil part of me wanted to add this on at the end of the message (note: the blanket she gave me is a Snuggi):
“Thank you for the blanket, it is a nice addition to the 3 snuggis we already own – ironically MyOtherCat has taken over it and MyCatThatYouLove has not touched it!”
And i have been totally tempted to put pics of the cat as sleeping on my bed as my facebook profile pic…
Post # 18
TBH, I didn’t even read your post above and I’m going to say no. Just ignore it. Bow out gracefully and be the bigger person. All this over an effing cat. Move on with your life and she will be forced to move on with hers. I’m really not saying this to be harsh, but one of you has got to let go.
Post # 19
I think the craziest part about this is that the gift was one of her blankets….. Is she so obsessed with your cat that a piece of her has to be with the cat in your home?! Throw out that snuggie! It’s probably soaked up some of her crazy.
Post # 20
For the love of god, LET IT GO ALREADY. Your friend is being crazy about the cat. And you are caring WAY too much about your friend’s cat craziness. Ignore, ignore, ignore.
Post # 21
It sounds like in the long run you want to save the friendship, and I get that. It would be hard to walk away from a long term friendship for something as weird as this. What I would suggest is to just send her (via snail mail) a thank you note for the blanket along the lines of:
I just wanted to thank you for the blanket for MyCat, it was so thoughtful of you. She’s been sleeping on it since I brought it home. We’re all settling in back home, happy to be together again. MyCat, Fiance and I thank you for the snuggles and love you gave MyCat while we were gone. We’re happy to have left her with friends who care about her and love her as much as we do.
THEN I’d let sleeping dogs lay for a while, and if she contacts you just say you’re really busy, but maybe you can get together in another month or two (or be honest and say you need a breather for a few weeks). Seriously, take a breather from her and this friendship for a bit. Come back and regroup in a couple months when you’ve both cooled off. Friendships go through ebbs and flows, this is one of them.
ETA – It seems to me this blanket could also be looked at as an olive branch?
Post # 22
thanks everyone again for reminding ne (again!) that i shouldn’t send that message above. I think i knew i shouldn’t and that’s why i wrote on here as opposed to just sending it her.
I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO REPLY!!!!!! (sorry for the bold caps, just trying to get the attention of people only replying to my OP)
i think you understand how i feel spot on and given that you are not in the situation you can also be rational and objective about it. thank you. you actually sound like my DH. he thinks there is no point in continuing drama especially when nothing will come of it. and thinks in a few months we can possibly patch things up. i guess part of me was just so mad/frustrated at her last reply which indicates she thinks she is normal and did nothing wrong! and you are right, i just need to let everything pass over – as long as it may take – and then see what happens from there. i also like the idea of a snail mail thank you note. i have some other thank you notes to send out for wedding stuff, so i can just do hers at the same time perhaps. i’ll decide on that tomorrow. now i am off to bed and here is to hoping the nagging feelings/thoughts go away for the time being!
ETA: oh and knowing my friend and how she thinks, i also think maybe in her eyes the blanket was an olive branch – and i think that is why it started pecking away at my conscience….
Post # 23
To be honest, at this point I think you are BOTH being a little crazy about this. Her actions were inappropriate for sure, but you’re both falling into the “gotta get the last word in, I’m write and she’s wrong” trap. Regardless of how it was intended, I think it would be healthier for your sanity (and hers) for you to give her the benefit of the doubt and choose to view her gift as an olive branch rather than a passive-aggressive gesture. If you ever want to patch things up with her, both of you are gonna have to give a little. I agree with the others that you should take some time to cool off, then re-approach the friendship when you’re feeling able to move past this situation (assuming that you are actually interested in maintaining the friendship as it sounds you are).
Post # 25
Just that you feel the need to repeat what you’ve already said. Unless there’s new information to impart, why bother? If she was going to get it, she was going to get it the first time around!
ETA: Just saw your decision, and think it’s the mature one. 🙂
Post # 26
just wanted to let you know i took your suggestion. i wrote a short and sweet thank you card saying thanks for the blanket and thanks for taking such good care of our cat while we were gone. i think this was the most mature approach since i received a gift – i am thanking them for it as etiquette states I should – also i think thanking them again for taking care of our cat was appropriate – since when i thanked her in person, the air was full of tension and awkwardness.
this is officially the end of the saga! (unless i get an apology from her one day – i will be so shocked that i will have to come back to let you bees know! don’t look for it though, lol).
Post # 27
Sorry didn’t catch this before. Glad to hear it! I hope it turns out well once everyone has taken some time to step away and regroup 🙂