(Closed) i hate this nagging feeling – can i write back? (cat-lady drama)

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 18
Member
7298 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

TBH, I didn’t even read your post above and I’m going to say no. Just ignore it. Bow out gracefully and be the bigger person. All this over an effing cat. Move on with your life and she will be forced to move on with hers. I’m really not saying this to be harsh, but one of you has got to let go. 

Post # 19
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think the craziest part about this is that the gift was one of her blankets….. Is she so obsessed with your cat that a piece of her has to be with the cat in your home?! Throw out that snuggie! It’s probably soaked up some of her crazy.

Post # 20
Member
4801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

For the love of god, LET IT GO ALREADY. Your friend is being crazy about the cat. And you are caring WAY too much about your friend’s cat craziness. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Post # 21
Member
10846 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

It sounds like in the long run you want to save the friendship, and I get that. It would be hard to walk away from a long term friendship for something as weird as this. What I would suggest is to just send her (via snail mail) a thank you note for the blanket along the lines of:

Dear Myfriend

I just wanted to thank you for the blanket for MyCat, it was so thoughtful of you. She’s been sleeping on it since I brought it home. We’re all settling in back home, happy to be together again. MyCat, Fiance and I thank you for the snuggles and love you gave MyCat while we were gone. We’re happy to have left her with friends who care about her and love her as much as we do.

Sincerely,

Frustrated.

THEN I’d let sleeping dogs lay for a while, and if she contacts you just say you’re really busy, but maybe you can get together in another month or two (or be honest and say you need a breather for a few weeks). Seriously, take a breather from her and this friendship for a bit. Come back and regroup in a couple months when you’ve both cooled off. Friendships go through ebbs and flows, this is one of them.

ETA – It seems to me this blanket could also be looked at as an olive branch?

Post # 23
Member
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

To be honest, at this point I think you are BOTH being a little crazy about this. Her actions were inappropriate for sure, but you’re both falling into the “gotta get the last word in, I’m write and she’s wrong” trap. Regardless of how it was intended, I think it would be healthier for your sanity (and hers) for you to give her the benefit of the doubt and choose to view her gift as an olive branch rather than a passive-aggressive gesture. If you ever want to patch things up with her, both of you are gonna have to give a little. I agree with the others that you should take some time to cool off, then re-approach the friendship when you’re feeling able to move past this situation (assuming that you are actually interested in maintaining the friendship as it sounds you are).

Post # 24
Member
4322 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

MEOW!

Post # 25
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
@frustrated: Just that you feel the need to repeat what you’ve already said. Unless there’s new information to impart, why bother? If she was going to get it, she was going to get it the first time around!

ETA: Just saw your decision, and think it’s the mature one. 🙂

Post # 27
Member
10846 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

View original reply
@frustrated: Sorry didn’t catch this before.  Glad to hear it! I hope it turns out well once everyone has taken some time to step away and regroup 🙂

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