(Closed) I hate to say it, but I think I'm done.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: How many of you would be able to go through with cancelling this wedding?

    Yes

    No

    Maybe

  • Post # 32
    Member
    4105 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

    View original reply
    @sweetandconfused:  I’m so sorry you find yourself in this position! I think you *know* what you should do in your heart of hearts, it’s just going to be really hard. What I would do is make a list of all the things that make you question your relationship/future-marriage with this man, then decide if those are things you think you can get past. If they are deal-breakers, you just tell him. Theres no good or easy way to talk to your Fiance about it and call off the wedding, but in the long-run it’s better than a divorce, or a miserable marriage! Good luck to you, I hope you do whats best for you. Put yourself first right now!

    Post # 33
    Member
    23 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    I am so sorry you are going through this. *HUG* Only you know what is best for you. If you are having doubts take heed to them and seriously ask yourself why that is. People don’t change, for the most part. What you see is what you get. Feel free to PM me. I am having a tough time with my own Fiance and my doubts as well. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    1263 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @sweetandconfused:  I am so sorry, but my gosh this man sounds soooo not ready for marriage. Loving you in “his way” just means loving you in the ways that personally benefit HIM, and make HIM happy.

    He is showing you that he isn’t willing to sacrifice at all, even for three stinking minutes, on the biggest day of your life. He has already said that he doesn’t believe in the worse part of for better or worse. Listen to him!

    Unless he is willing to go to some serious counseling and make big changes very fast, I would at the least postpone. You are walking into a disaster of a marriage if you go forward with nothing changing first.

    Post # 35
    Member
    633 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    View original reply
    @sweetandconfused:  When I mentioned delaying the wedding so he could have more time to see how my financial situation plays out, he said we either go through with things or go our separate ways

    Sounds like he’s already broached the subject of breaking it off. I’d recommed striking while the iron is cold; not breaking the news when you’re in a foul mood or fighting about something. Have a rational plan for what you want to do afterward (I don’t know if you guys live together or have any joint property, finances, kids, pets). And then just dive in. There’s no good way to break off an engagement, but having the courage to know yourself and do what you need to do will feel like a huge relief.

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