- 7 years ago
I been stalking the Boards (mostly the Rings.. lately the Proposals lol) and just came across the Waiting Bees! I need some support/advice that I don’t think my friends can offer me, since they aren’t in the “same place” in life as I.
Here’s some Background on myself and my relationship:
After meeting my SO I finally believe that everything happens for a reason.
I dated my ex bf for a little over 2 years. Kicked him out of my apartment in April of 2009 but finally got him to accept that we are done in May. There was love, and I do still care about him, but the main reason I got rid of him is because he couldn’t trust me. No matter what I said or what I did he would always assume or accuse me of cheating. In late 2008, my ex bf kept mentioning that he will propose to me on our 3 year anniversary in December 2009. He would tell me almost everyday. So I accepted the fact that at 20, I will be engaged, and most likely married in a year or two.
My SO was co workers with my best gf, whom I have known since the 3rd grade. She talked about him a lot but I have never met him. We bumped into each other but spoke no more than 3 minutes. He Facebook messaged me in May telling me he was leaving. From that we started texting, than moved up to Skype. We would stay up all night talking to each other it was so easy. I think this is kind of our weird thing, but we left our Skype on over night when we were sleeping so that the first thing we saw when we woke up was each other. Yes I know totally insane.. I slept with my laptop on my bed facing me while I was sleeping. After a short 3 weeks of Skype dating, we made it “official” on June 26, 2009. Needless to say, I moved to Edmonton to be with him, we have been living together after 3 months of dating and have been together ever since <3
We have talked about being life partners, marriage, kids, etc. And we have even talked about rings. My SO has had a rough upbringing and had to figure a lot of things out himself. He went to Art Institute when he was 27, he’s now 31, and has been working hard ever since. We have moved to 2 different cities/towns since we’ve been together so saving money has been hard for both of us. He asked me how I would feel if he purchased a diamond from a pawn shop. I told him as long as the band is new (because I’m superstitious like that) I’m fine with it. He would make comments such as “I don’t know how I’m going to afford your ring..” and comments along those lines for the past 4 months. I know I want to be with my SO for the rest of my life, but I just want to be engaged, and married since I’ve had that in my head since I was 19. Not to mention I have an old soul to the point that when I have a birthday I’m actually surprised at how young I am.
Here’s my Dilemma:
In September, SO’s friend proposed to his long time gf of 13 years. In October, one of my friend’s got married in Asia and had an extremely extravagant wedding. In November, SO’s co worker proposed to his gf of 1 year and 3 weeks later got married. In December, my brother, 26 proposed to his gf, 32.
So what’s my problem? Well since SO started hinting that a ring is coming, every month someone is getting engaged/married. Yes I am very envious of all these people.. The worst part is when my brother proposed, his now fiancee was the one who texted me “we’re engaged!!!” To be honest, I was pretty pissed off because as a family member, I thought I would get the privilege of being told that he was going to propose to her. I talked to my father and he casually told me that my brother ordered the engagement ring 2 and a half months ago!! He came to town to visit my father and I in November and he didn’t once mention it! My brother is spoiled, he gets everything he wants and I swear my father helped him with the ring..that night I came home, hugged SO started crying and told him everything. He admitted that he was jealous too. He doesn’t know what it’s like to be spoiled and stated he wouldn’t want financial help with my engagement ring. What sucks even more is that everyday I hear some sort of detail in regards to my brother’s wedding plans. He’s getting married October 20, 2012. I’m happy for him but at the same time I’m conflicted with all sort of emotions. I know he is older, but SO and I have been together longer than they have.. I find myself looking at rings, wedding dresses, watching shows like Say Yes to the Dress, Four Weddings all the time. I’m so torn with all these emotions inside and just need to vent and maybe some advice on how to cope? From here on out I will have added stress. Starting January 11th, I have to man the family business for 5 weeks, working many 12 hour shifts, and when my father is back SO and I will be mad packing cause we’re moving back to Vancouver at the end of March. I honestly don’t know what to do.. I hate waiting and I know he doesn’t have the money to get a ring at this point = so I’m not expecting anything till probably past our 3 year anniversary June 2012 that’s still so far away!!
Bees!! PLEASE help me!