Post # 1
- his family’s expectations of what the wedding should be
- my family telling me to ignore everyone in the world (including my fiance) and do what I want to do
- my huge family with no boundaries at all on where to stop inviting people
- fiance’s family wanting to invite everyone they know
- that what I originally wanted to be a small, intimate wedding is now looking like 100-150 people, with only about 3 venues in the area that can cater for that
- that the 3 venues in the area that can cater to our number of guests SUCK
- that we can’t figure out how many guests we will definitely have until we’ve booked a venue and date and gotten RSVPs back, by which time it will be too late to change to a smaller/nicer venue anyway
- having to wear a dress
- that fiance mentioned to his mum that I was considering asking her dress shopping, so now she keeps pestering me about it
- moronic other brides who are worried about what their mother and mother-in-law will wear – seriously?? You don’t trust adults to dress themselves? I wish that were the greatest of my concerns
But most of all, I hate that we had a rough idea for a wedding planned out, then the in-laws badgered me and fiance until we changed it to something they were happy with, now they refuse to have any more input, saying “Well it’s your wedding. We don’t mind what you do.” YOU DON’T HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT TO COMPLETELY CHANGE OUR PLANS, THEN THROW YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR AND SAY IT’S OUR CHOICE. FUCK YOU ALL YOU STUPID FUCKING WANKERS.
I fucking HATE weddings
Post # 3
You have every right to be fucking annoyed. I love the F word. And I hate to hear that your families are turning wedding planning into a nightmare. 🙁 I wish I had some advice for you. In the meantime, feel free to keep swearing, I know it helps me to vent the shit out of things. 😉
Post # 4
If invitations haven’t gone out, scrap the guest list, scrap the plans, and redo things the way YOU (and FI) want them done…a small, intimate wedding.
Post # 6
yep agree with Miss Apricot. what hasnt been done scrap andreplan
Post # 7
@Luv2BeachIt: God it felt good to vent about that!
@Miss Apricot: Don’t worry, I’m trimming the guestlist as we speak! Only problem is my family is ridiculously huge. Just my dad’s immediate family is over 60 people! And we’re all really close (all the way out to second/third cousins), so it’s hard to draw a line at just aunts and uncles, or first cousins, especially because fiance’s family is relatively small, so even if I invited only my immediate family (parents and siblings), that would nearly equal fiance’s immediate family and his aunts, uncles and cousins.
I am so over this whole wedding bullshit. It’s virtually impossible for fiance and myself to compromise on our ideal weddings (mine would be a courthouse wedding, no reception), his ideal is in a church with a big fancy reception. I FUCKING HATE IT.
Post # 8
Would you feel okay with not inviting secon and third cousins? Are you inviting anyone you haven’t seen in over a year?
Post # 9
@peachacid: Unfortunately, in some cases, I’m closer with my second cousins than with my first cousins. Plus we, as an extended family, make an effort to get together at least every year or so. Yeah…we’re pretty muchy one of those TV families where everyone gets along and is super-excited to see each other, which is great most of the time, but when organising a wedding, it’s pretty painful. There’s not even any family feuds that I can exploit to excuse not inviting Uncle X because he doesn’t get along with Cousin Y.
Post # 10
Destination wedding? Travel expense alone might help trim down the guestlist, without people being hurt they weren’t invited.
Post # 11
This is why I want to elope. x.x
I hope things get better for you soon. 🙁
Post # 12
@Miss Apricot: I wish! That was my second preference to a courthouse wedding, but fiance is the oldest in his family, as well as being the oldest grandchild (on both sides of his family). Given that one of his grandmothers is in a wheelchair and drags an oxygen tank with her everywhere, she can’t travel and most likely won’t live to see fiance’s brother (her only other grandchild) get married, so it’s important to fiance that we have it somewhere local.
I’m sorry, I hate it when people go on forums and whinge, but when everyone suggests a way out for them, they shoot it down, but I honestly struggle to see an easy way out of this. I really just needed a chance to vent and complain…I’m honestly at a stage where I don’t want to invite any of my friends or family because, as far as I’m concerned, this isn’t my wedding. I know that sounds stupid and childish, but I honestly don’t give a flying fuck about this stupid wedding. Who the fuck invented weddings and why didn’t someone put a bullet through their head?
Post # 13
Wow! That’s tough! Um…courthouse wedding with only parents and grandparents the day before you leave for your destination “wedding” (vow renewal) with all family and friends invited and a webcam so grandma can watch from the comfort of her home? LOL!
ETA: I LOVE wedding, loved planning mine, wish I could do it all over again (to the same man, of course!), but yeah…yours sounds like a nightmare to plan!
Post # 14
@LadyElva: If it’s of any consolation, my mother did the exact same thing to me. I wanted a small family-only wedding and my parents were told this, but then they wanted to invite all these extra people who I specifically told them MULTIPLE TIMES that I did NOT want to invite because I barely even knew them. Later on, my mother tried to convince me that this big wedding (close to 150 people) was all MY idea, and when I told her that NONE of this was MY idea because I only wanted a SMALL private wedding with only our family there, she got on with this BS about how I could have had a family-only wedding if that’s what I wanted. The guests were already invited so it was a little too late to go back to what I wanted. I actually stopped caring a while ago about who comes as long as they behave themselves, but when Mom made that comment, I really had to restrain myself from screaming at her because she knew perfectly well that there was absolutely NO truth in saying that I could have had what I wanted because she and Dad were the ones who made that impossible, and my frustration with it all just reached its peak at that moment. She and Dad would NOT be satisfied until they got all these extra guests THEY wanted. If I said no to inviting someone, they’d just keep bringing it up over and over again and give me no peace until I either gave in or they’d just invite the people themselves without my consent. And yet she has the gall to tell me that I could have had the small, family-only wedding I wanted?! lol
Post # 15
GURL, I could have written this post. Our families did the SAME thing — except they didn’t get to the “It’s your wedding, do what you want!” part until last week. And our wedding is this Saturday. Yup.
Also, we were forced to invite 160 people too! If it helps at all, our final count of “yes”es is 134.
As for the venue, can you look in unconvential spaces? We couldn’t find a venue we liked for a crowd of over 100 either, but then my mom found this awesome barn that we LOVE. Just keep looking and maybe something new will pop up!
Post # 16
okay my initial reaction was a lot of laughter because i like that you don’t hold weddings as the end all be all. let’s face planning this shit is frustrating. and expensive. really expensive. and its about the FUCKING marriage. ahhhh that felt good.
my second reaction was *hug* i hope planning goes better for you!