(Closed) I hated breastfeeding.

posted 9 years ago in Babies
Post # 32
Member
1546 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I did BF my LO until she was 10months then put her on Milk, i do have to say it is tremendously tiring, hard and alot of sacrificing. I went back to work when LO was 1month so that involved alot of pumping day and night and breastfeeding. i wanted to do it, it was the best for her, i am not against formula but i prefferred knowing i BF’d her.

Post # 33
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@zippylef:  I appreciate your feedback.  My child(ren) love me for me and not my boobs as well. Regardless of the breastfeeding.

 

It’s hard, it hurts, its a commitment…like I said I’m going on 3.5  years…  Breast is BEST however it’s not BEST for everyone, if it inhibits you from enjoying life with your newborn.

 

I would never advise someone not to do it though. Try it and make your own decisions. It’s a great rewarding experience and something I would not change, no matter how hard it was for me in the very beginning.

 

good luck!

Post # 34
Member
5229 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@mrshunnybunches:  Not everyone has cracked nipples, sore breasts, bleeding, etc. Also, if you pump some, DH can still help feed. That doesn’t mean you have to breastfeed, but don’t let your fears stop you because they may be unfounded.

Post # 35
Member
4437 posts
Honey bee

@Khalessi3:  I wasnt trying to insinuate that breasfed babies only love their moms for their boobs, if that’s what you were getting at. I was saying that she loves me despite the fact that she was not breastfed.

Post # 36
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Most moms regardless of thier proper latch technique experience some kind of pain while nursing. And I feel it’s important to acknowledge that pain, and also acknowledge that it will pass. Most mothers I have spoken with who are long time nursers (past the 3 month mark) describe the “hump” that you must get get over with inital breast feeding experience…if it’s not bleeding or cracked…there is a “hurt” of on some scale. And if you happen to experience the severe bleeding or cracked nipple, not to give up and just push through that, as there is the other side.

 

 

and yes

 

 

@zippylef:  that was what I was getting at.  If that’s not what you meant, I apologize. 

Post # 37
Member
12 posts
Newbee

I don’t have anything helpful to say, since I haven’t done it myself, but I thought you’d enjoy this article from jezebel.  It’s good for a laugh and seems to echo the exact situation you’re in, along with all the judgment you’re dealing with from others.  It has some offensive language, but might as well call it as you see it!!!  http://jezebel.com/5968243/fuck-you-breastfeeding?tag=breastfeeding

 

Post # 39
Member
1811 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@chenny2013:  OMG I read through half the article and I felt too squeamish! I’m another non-mother 😉 but, I wanted to say that while I understand the beneits of the boob, I am on the fence about what I’ll do when I’m a mom (in a few years from now, lol)….I know this is not the popular opinion, but I can barely even stand to look at the picture above the article, of the woman breastfeeding..it really freaks me out. I don’t think I’ll be able to do it-I can’t imagine a little human hanging from my nips, sucking the life out of me- no, thanks. I wasn’t breastfed-my mom tried with my sister and I, and she said it was so incredibly awful and painful that she stopped after a week or two. We both graduated college with honors/no allergies/no funky-ness that may be associated with bottle fed babies. I’m sure you’re a fabulous mommy and your baby will thrive all the same had he not been bottle fed. 🙂

Post # 40
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@meggyo:  I’m so sorry you had such a hard time of it, and that you didn’t have good support from the nurses and medical professionals who you were seeing. As PP’s have said, don’t feel bad about your decision, you need to do what’s best for both of you, and if you are in pain and so stressed out about breast feeding, it will hinder your milk supply amongst other things. I just want to say for everyone that any time breastfeeding is great for the baby, even if it’s just a day. One of the most important things I was told to keep in mind was by the instructor of my breastfeeding class. She said to feel “successful” (and by that I mean not feeling guilty and placing blame on yourself, and frustrated that you didn’t last longer then you did, etc.) is to approach breastfeeding one day at a time. Say to yourself, “I’m gonna breast feed today” and it may eventually be an “I’m gonna breastfeed this week” and so on. It helps a lot.

I’m breastfeeding, and have so far been fairly lucky, I apparently have the “milk cow gene” and we got the hang of it pretty quickly, though it helps that my nurses and lactation consultants were great and that I was in the hospital for 4 nights, and I even think sometimes that it would be so much easier to formula feed. And honestly, while at the hospital I had the nurses supplement DS with formula a few times to allow me to get some sleep. So long, rambling story short, you should in no way feel guilty for making any of the decisions you made. 

Post # 41
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I had almost the exact same experience as you! My LO was born in Oct and I had every intention of BFing, becasue “breast is best.” I went to the hospital BFing class prior to LO’s birth and they made it look so easy and natural. Even showed a video of a brand new baby crawling to the breast and latching on. I never thought it would be difficult or imagined that it didn’t come that easy for everyone. Sure, I heard about painful nipples and engorgement, but I was ready for that.

We had a scheduled c section due to baby being breech. Quite frankly I don’t really remember when I exactly got to hold my baby for the first time. I do remember in recovery the nurse asking if I wanted to try to breast feed and me looking down at my daughter waiting for her to crawl to the boob and latch on, which obviously never happened. The first night in the hospital several nurses tried everything they knew to get her to latch and it just wasn’t happening. I finally said feed her some formula and we will work at it. I pumped and we fed her with a syringe so she wouldn’t get nipple confusion, if she ever did learn to latch. At each feeding we would struggle, she would cry, I would cry, we would get frustrated and end up giving her pumped brest milk in a syringe until the next feeding when we’d try again. I had such anxiety about BFing that I couldn’t even sleep. By the time we left the hospital we were feeding her breast milk in a bottle, but still trying unsuccessfully at every feeding to get her to latch. After being home for a few days and being so stressed about BFing I made a decision to exclusively pump and bottle feed. I was producing just enough to keep up with her, but no extra to store away if I wanted or needed to be away.  LO was a sleepy, pokey eater. It was taking 30-40 mins for her to eat 2oz in the bottle. Then I’d be hooked up to the pump for another 30 mins pumping for the next feeding. By that time it was time to feed again. Finally my DH started doing the bottle feedings while I pumped to allow me to get some rest. I became so resentful that he got to spend the time cuddling with her and bonding while feeding her and I was attached to the pump like a cow! 

Our breaking straw was just 3 weeks after LO was born. I woke up and one of my breast was completely flat and had stopped producing and the other was huge and engorged. I ended up getting mastitis (breast infection) and ended up on antibiotics, sick as a dog. I laid around the house one whole day and cried and cried. I knew that I couldn’t keep up with the pumping, but at the same time felt like I was a failure and giving up on something that was suppose to be so important for my baby. I felt like such a failure…for one day. The next day we started formula feeding LO and she was fine! No probems switching to formula, she was happy and didn’t seem to notice at all. 

Now that time has past and my LO has done so good on formula and it has made our lives so much easier, I wonder why I ever put myself through that hell??? My DH or anyone can help with feedings, we aren’t stuck on a tight schedule that I must feed or feel like my boobs are going to explode, I know exactly how much LO is eating and the anxiety about feeding is gone! Neither myself or DH were BFed so all these crazy thoughts in my mind about BFing my child was unnecessary peer pressure from the media, friends, family, blogs, and crazy BFing videos and books!

If we decide to have another child, I’m not sure i’d even attempt BFing again! And I can finally say I don’t feel guilty about it!

Post # 43
Member
373 posts
Helper bee

Im here with ya! I EBF from the hospital to about 3 weeks.. I was also pumping and giving it in a bottle on top of it. I was pumping 4-8 ounces at a time and gaining a “stockpile” of milk in the freezer. Then I started pumping less and less. It was hard work. It got to the point where I was pumping for 15-20 minutes and only gettting about 3 ounces.. Well he was taking more then that.. Here we are at 2 months and I am formula feeding.. I still nurse every once in awhile. It helps when he is fussy.. I feel that people look at me like I gave up. That I quit on my child. It was just too much work. If he would have latched on correctly and not fed like a preemie things might have been different.. I feel guilty every day! and I also need to get over that. Its not the end of the world. Ya things didnt go as planned, but thats life. HAHA and to think I wanted to BF for a year! :))

Post # 44
Member
527 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I haven’t read all the comments but I hope everyone is being nice to you.  🙂  I’m not one of those women who LOVE breastfeeding either.  My goal was to make it to 6 months with my daughter (made it 5.5) and with my son I just figured I’d take it one day at a time.  He’s 5 months, 1 week and I think he’s starting to wean himself.  This does not make me sad.  At all. 

Post # 45
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@meggyo:  Darn right! The best thing for a baby is a happy mommy!

Post # 46
Member
206 posts
Helper bee

I still feel slightly guilty that I couldn’t breastfeed my daughter properly for the first year. It was the most stressful, emotional time of my life. I just couldn’t produce enough for her (max 2oz each breast), pumping didn’t help at all. We were told to supplement with formula by one doctor, another said I needed to sit there for hours and hours with her latched on if that’s what it took to get her fed, another said to “pump, pump, pump!”, others stared at me and said “I really don’t know what the problem could be. Have you tried holding her in different positions?”

My favorite was the repeated, “You just need to think about how much you love your baby and the milk will come out” — uhm, no, actually it won’t. It’s not always some psychological issue, it’s a physical one: I can’t produce a sufficient amount of breast milk.

We had been really wanting to strictly breastfeed. My SO felt terrible that it wasn’t working out, he hated how stressed it was making me. I sat there for six hours trying to feed my daughter. Six. Hours. Straight. Because the doctor told me to. I pumped every two hours. There was always something attached to my breasts. I didn’t need to wear shirts, which I guess was a plus, less laundry.

I tried for six months, felt like a failure every time I had to give her formula and every time the doctor asked if she was getting breastmilk or formula. I felt jealous of friends who were breastfeeding perfectly fine. The pediatrician told me I wouldn’t lose weight if I didn’t breastfeed.

I took a break for two months (after the six straight) and then tried to pick it up again. Same problem, plus my daughter was attached to her bottle by that point and it made it even more difficult.

When I have another baby, yes, I will try to breastfeed. But I definitely know the limit of when I need to stop trying. People shouldn’t go through what I went through just because doctors are jerks and people who can do it make rude comments.

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