posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Were you at my shower? LOL. It was all family i’ve never met and half of them sat in the kitchen talking to themselves and not watching while i opened gifts. Fine, but it makes it hard to thank someone who’s in a different room who i’ve never met before. I spent most of the afternoon chilling by the sodas hanging out by myself pretending to be very observant. One lady talked to me endlessly about my brother, who died in a car accident barely a year ago and wouldn’t let up until I was in tears, crying at my own shower. Future Sister-In-Law and Future Mother-In-Law apologized for her later, but that didn’t make it much better. I was incredibly bummed and depressed from that point on. Who talks about that to the bride for that long?! I mean, don’t talk about it in general. Oye. When I told my mom how awkward it all went down, she said that it should never have been like that. I only brought my Maid/Matron of Honor to the shower with me because I knew I was having a friend shower later. Which had games and good food and booze. 

Anyways, it’s unfortunate that some people don’t just get how to host a party properly  and to be attentive hosts, and it just goes to show the social anxiety and issues other people have being friendly. They probably think I should have gone around introducing myself. But, I didn’t feel like I should. I got introduced around, but that was it. Only one lady complimented me on my nice, new outfit (a cute white dress with a big turquoise necklace. Hey i thought i was fashionable) and nobody bothered to look at my ring, either. 

So, basically, you aren’t alone and I’m relieved to see some other people out there don’t know how to throw a party. Consider it the fact that we’ll never ever be like this. But man, I totally feel for ya!!!!

Post # 4
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

To be honest, my shower didn’t go perfectly well either.  My mom and sister planned it and they chose a really nice location (which is hard to find in the small TX town I am from – so I was happy about that) and planned it for the day after my neice’s birthday party since I would be in TX that weekend.  Well, since my sister was busy with friends and her husband’s family ALL NIGHT after the party, I had to decorate for my own shower the night before!!!  When we got there to decorate, I realized my sister had purchased almost nothing!  WTF?  My mom and I made last minute runs to Wal-Mart all night and had to work with whatever they had.  It was too late and too far from any craft stores or anything like Target.

In the end, the shower fortunately went pretty well, we had good food, and a good number of guests.  No one else realized that anything had been awry. But I was REALLY annoyed that I had to work all night and the morning of to organize everything for my own shower.

There’s not too much you can do unfortunately at this point, though. 🙁  Do you think you could be honest with your friends (that you did not enjoy this shower at all) and possibly have another one with just your closes friends and family?

Post # 5
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I second gracez – I think you should have another shower with your close friends and family. 

So sorry to hear, it went so badly.  You shouldn’t have felt like a stranger at your own shower.

Post # 6
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

So sorry to hear what a bummer it was! My shower was practically all family, but that wasnt an issue for me

I ‘third’ having a shower with friends! that might make you smile

Post # 7
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I have a feeling since your friends were witness to that disaster, they will GLADLY throw you another shower.  Just make sure its a closed guest list.  Even if Future Mother-In-Law isnt happy about it, its not her decision.  your MoH can always gently tell her that the friends collectively agreed that you werent the focus of your last shower because it was so large, and they want to throw a more intimate one. 

Post # 8
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I agree! Another shower- tell them and your side of the family the truth- that they don’t have to bring another gift but just to show up. Just make sure Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law don’t find out!

Post # 9
3331 posts
Sugar bee

I’m so sorry your shower wasn’t what you’d hoped it would be.  Is this your only shower, or are your BM/your family throwing you one, too? 

My Mother-In-Law insisted on throwing me a shower and well, it seemed like she got together with your Mother-In-Law to discuss what to do!  It was horrible.  She changed the date several times to accomodate her friends, despite the fact that it was inconvient for me.  She didn’t introduce me to anyone, so I spent the entire time trying to introduce myself to a bunch of strangers.  She also insisted on asking me repeatedly about what I wanted to eat, only to serve something completely different that I didn’t like!  She made me open gifts, but then spent the whole time talking to her friends.  I didn’t know who anyone was, so I had to read the card and say "Oh, it’s from Jane" then scan the room frantically hoping I would remember who it was/the guest would identify herself.  After it was done, my then-fiance, my sister and I spent the entire afternoon CLEANING UP.  SHe and her friends sat around and ordered us around.  It was…terrible.

Luckily, my sister was with me at this ordeal.  With the help of my aunt, my sister threw a beautiful, fun shower for me.  I was able to relax and have a good time and pretend that the other shower never happened!

Post # 10
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Instead of another bridal shower why not have a small lingerie shower before your bach party with just the girls.  We have done that a few times and it has been really fun because it is causal and small group of friends. And then we laugh at what people give the bride.


Post # 11
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Wow thats terrible I’m sooo sorry that happened to you! I also think you should have another shower, one thats for you and all about you, you deserve it!

Post # 12
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

So sorry that happened. 

How about having a bachelorette party/shower at the same time!  That would be so fun!

Post # 13
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Are you ahaving another shower thrown by your side of the family?  Then your Mother-In-Law will be there with a bunch of strangers and you can take a different approach.

I didn’t have any bad showers, but I had a terrible bachelorette paryty, and I understand how frustrating it is when things don’t go smoothly, and you’re put in an awkward situation.

Just wanted you to know you’re not alone.  There’s nothing you can do at this point, so keep your chin up and keep moving along!

Post # 14
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m not having a formal bridal shower; my sister is inviting people; but I told her what I wanted; just my NYC friends, cocktails, lingerie themed and bridal shower games


I’m excited!

Post # 15
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Ugh, that sounds horrible. Good to you for making through the whole thing, I don’t know if I could have done the same! You should definitley have another shower!

Post # 16
161 posts
Blushing bee

To be honest I have rarely been to a ‘good shower’.  They are usually boring, you talk to people you don’t care about and eat food.  I think they are a nice way to get some things to help a new couple start their home.  I am a fan of couples showers with themes and fun!

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