(Closed) I hated my wedding, I knew I would.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sorry it had to happen that way. It must have been stressful and frustrating that nothing went the way you had planned it or wanted it. If it helps, at least know that many people love you (family and friends) and they all wanted to contribute or help in some sort of way. I hope you feel better about it soon

Post # 4
Member
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

It seems like you all are kind of…enmeshed?  What’s done is done.  You can’t go back and set the boundaries better from back then. 🙁

However, you can establish better boundaries from this moment forward.  Claim your space and your decisions.  If you are clear and assertive, most people should respect you.  If they don’t, it’s probably best to distance yourselves.

Post # 5
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Weddings are really about establishing new family boundaries to establish you and your FI/new husband as a new, respected family unit. I think you learned that the hard way!

Post # 6
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

OMG!!! I am so sorry!! This is absolutly horrible! HUGS!

Post # 7
Member
22 posts
Newbee

What a crazy situation. It sounds like there is too much negativity from both sides of your families. You got married because your (now) husband is dying of cancer and yet they did this? 

“My Husbands family made a massive 5 ft wedding cake it was amazing, but because it was an incredibly generous gift, and took more than 500 working hours, and utterly utterly beautiful, I could complain when it was cut and taken away without my guests or I getting any of it.”.

Why didn’t they let you and your guests eat the cake?

I would just enjoy the time you have left with your husband. That’s what’s important.

Post # 8
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

How stressful for you… sympathy to you and your husband.

HOWEVER, you need to concentrate on the important things. You got married to the man you love. He loves you too. The wedding is just one day. Even brides who have everything as they want it have regrets. 

Just try to not think about the things that have irked you and enjoy the time you have with your new husband.

Post # 9
Member
3770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

I am so sorry that your wedding turned out this way leaving you with such bitterness!  Your family really should not have walked all over you under the pretense of helping out.  I hope that you can move past it and focus on the fact that you are married to the man you love!

Post # 10
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I doubt you got married because your now husband is dying of cancer. You got married because you love one another, and didn’t want to post-pone the joy that being married would bring you.

I can’t imagine what you are going through.  I can tell you from an outside view that at the end of the day, it will not matter if the wedding was the way you wanted it; only that you got to share it with the person you love.

Think about the big picture here. When this part of life is over for your husband, will you care that you didn’t get better quality alcohol or the flowers you wanted? No. You will probably only care that he took the last bits of time he had left to tie himself to you; to prove to everyone he loved, that you were the one he wanted to share his life with.

For the record, you don’t sound spoiled. You sound sad, angry, and confused, which are all very valid emotions.

 

Post # 12
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sounds crappy.  Take some time to grieve your wedding day and then move on.  You’re married now, so start your life together as a new family.  Like PP’s have said – start to set some boundaries.  Take it as a learning experience. 

Post # 13
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Mrs. Mink:  Normally, I would agree. If the OP’s husband is dying of cancer though, I can’t imagine how being distanced from his family would help anything.

Post # 14
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Gawd, just reading this makes me feel so sad and so sorry for your situation.  I’m so utterly confused as to the level of wastefulness (throwing out the cake and the food) – what the hell?!  What in the world would move them to throw out so much?  

Moving on, I will send good thoughts and prayers that your husband will recover from his cancer.  I hope that the two of you are able to enjoy married life now that the “wedding” is over.  

Post # 15
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Can’t imagine what they were thinking… I would have been so upset and said something at the time, but I guess now, unfortunately, you gotta move on.  Forgive but don’t forget, they say…

Post # 16
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Why couldn’t you eat the cake??

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