- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013 - Lake Anna Winery
So I need to get my feelings out somewhere. Sorry if I ramble, but it’s been stuck in my head for weeks. Talking to anyone involved has just made people mad at me, but I’m an honest person and just can’t lie..
First off, I am SO THANKFUL for everyone that helped out at our wedding and paid for things. I felt extremely loved and cared for. I could never not be thankful for everyone! I also am madly in love with my husband and life has been a dream ever since!
However, my wedding turned out NOTHING like what we wanted and there were so many issues. It was awful. We wanted a laidback, outdoor barn/country wedding. What we wound up with was a weird mish mash of my mom and I’s arguements and a rainy day at a winery…
We’ve been married for almost a month and I still hate thinking about it. I dread watching our wedding video and telling people about it..
Here’s the story:
My mom was the one that paid for the venue and she felt like she needed a lot of say so. She wanted a more upscale wedding for me, while we wanted something that spoke “us”: laidback and country. I found a barn that we wanted to use, but it didn’t have our date and my mom said it was too expensive. Finally we found a vineyard that was okay and my mom fell in love with it so that’s what we wound up with (even though it was more expensive than the barn). I kept telling myself it would be just fine as long as we were outside so that’s where I put my heart.
Mom and I argued about almost everything. My husband was fed up with it and decided not to be involved because he wasn’t a fan of the venue and REALLY angry with how my mom was treating me.. It’s OUR wedding.. He told me that over and over again, but I just wanted the issues to go away so I bent to what my mom said to keep the peace pretty often. I thought it wouldn’t be a big deal until it started becoming more and more what we didn’t want. I stood up to her about a lot of things when it started getting closer to the wedding, but like I thought, it caused so many issues.
Onto the weekend of the wedding:
My mom was pissed the whole weekend and still to this day won’t tell me why other than she felt “attacked” by my husband’s family… She is a very dramatic, somewhat selfish person, so I tried to not let it phase me. I have even confronted some of his family who said they thought they were nice.
The closer it got to the wedding, the cloudier it got and the more dramatic my mother got. She wound up spending no time with me during the weekend because of whatever “issues” she had with me and my new family. The day of the wedding I was left alone for half the day because it started raining and the whole plan had to be scrapped and decorations were put up inside. (There went my dream of outdoor…) The DJ was late and didn’t have the playlist or even a list of our special songs so my husband had to run home to go get his iPad and make a playlist with all of our songs…
Once it was finally time to get ready, my hair dresser didn’t do my hair the way I wanted but there was no time to redo it, I had to do my own make up because my aunt was helping with the decorations, my bridesmaids were competing with each other about who was a better friend to me, it was raining cats and dogs and getting worse as we drove to the venue… I cried.
When we got to the venue, my family was arguing, my aunt was arguing with me that my daughter was sick and it wasn’t just allergies, the photographer was no where to be found, and my mom disappeared to go finish something up. Finally, when we were all there, I got in my dress and we were running about 20 minutes late. At that point, I was just ready for the night to be over.
I walked to where we all got lined up and there were 120 people stuffed in the little tiny room and my heart sank.. Not only did over sixty people not show up, but it was not at all what I pictured for our wedding..
I finally got my head on straight when saw my man at the end of the aisle and got a little teary. Then, the ceremony started….The pastor gave a 30 MINUTE SERMON before starting the ceremony and both my husband and I were getting frustrated.. We’re not very religious people and we just wanted to be married already!! We FINALLY walked out as husband and wife and I was so relieved.
We went to go take some pictures with the photographer and it started raining again outside so we got maybe 10 pictures of the wedding party and us.
When it was time for us to be announced, the DJ forgot the entrance music.. Then, we started our first dance and he had the wrong song, cut it off, then started the right one, then cut it off before it was over… So during the awkward silence where no one knew what was going on, my mother in law announced it was time for food even though it wasn’t fully ready.
The night went on and there were a few more hiccups, but I was just ready to get out of there. At 9pm when we were supposed to leave, I couldn’t find my husband.. Anywhere. He disappeared with his cousin and I was getting ticked.
We finally found him and we ran out into the rain at 10 pm to no car…. it had been parked behind the building. So we ran back inside to get to the getaway truck.
I was SO excited to leave, but then my mother in law pulled my new husband back into the building to help clean up and break down. I didn’t have a change of clothes so I sat in the truck for an hour and a half, in my dress that I could no longer breathe in, waiting for him to get back so we could leave. When he got back to the truck, he had drank a little too much so I drove. They had hooked a trailer to the back and I had never driven one before. I ran one of the trailer wheels too close to a brick wall and bent the wheel…. That was my last straw. I started crying and my poor husband was trying to make me feel better but I was just unconsoleable at that point. I had to drive a crooked trailer 40 minutes home and then when we FINALLY were able to be alone, the bartender, and 3 of DH’s cousins showed up to hang out, watch a movie and spent the night.
I got a hoodie and sweatpants on, a bottle of wine, chocolate, watched the movie and went to bed.
The only thing that makes me smile about the wedding is the fact that I said “I do” to my best friend and seeing family that I hadn’t seen in a while. I hope and pray that thinking about the wedding will get better and maybe even funny. But, for now, the dream that I had thought about for a long time and all the plans for this gorgeous country wedding that I made will never happen and it hurts.
Thanks for reading my rant ladies!