(Closed) I hated my wedding :( (long)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 92
Member
2884 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

  @Bookmarks:  Sure, you did say mypinkshoes shared your message more eloquently. Yet, you continued to hammer home *your* point in a really hurtful manner. And, despite saying you had only the best intentions & meant no disrespect, you truly were being disrespectful, intentions aside.

I know you have a real bone to pick with the OP for having a “defeatest” & negative attitude, but you sure are looking at the OP through quite a negative & judgemental lense, no?

If you really value tough love, which I honestly believe is your intention, please try to approach people with a little more kindness & understanding. Try, “I’m really sorry that so many of your details were damped by outside factors. That must have been tough.. I wish you would realize though that _________________”

When you begin with a little sympathy and consideration, people usually tend to listen a little more closely to the constructive critisism that follows… 

I’m not trying to make you feel like a bad person, & I’m not trying to badger you; I just hope you can distinguish the difference next time between somebody looking for advice verses somebody who is just disappointed, vulnerable, & seeking a shoulder to lean on. The OP seemed sad about the details falling apart, not about about the moral of the day. She expressed that she was so happy that she married the love of her life. I don’t think she is wrong to be sad that a day she had dreamed about her whole life didn’t turn out the way she expected it to. That is human nature.

Post # 94
Member
2884 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@melonseeds:  Oh my, I’m sorry! I tagged the wrong person. You must have been so confused lol. For a second, so was I.

Post # 96
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Bookmarks:  Wow. As a PP said, your posts do make you sound increasingly off the rails. For someone who supposedly hates drama, you sound pretty angry and have created your own little drama all by yourself. The OP comes off as absolutely serene in comparison. 

OP, I’m sorry you had a number of things go wrong. After all the planning and drama with your mom that led up to it, I don’t blame you for feeling sad about it. 

Post # 97
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Garden

OP from your first post I got the impression that you were please to be married but feeling down because it wasn’t how you imagined your day. You were hoping to vent and move on eventually. I think that it is totally acceptable and perfectly normal to feel down about something when we’re disappointed.

I also think that it is really useful to see posts like this on the Bee so that other brides who have a less-than-perfect wedding can see that plenty of weddings aren’t what we expect. My Future Mother-In-Law had no control over her wedding and is still very upset about it to this day. She loves her family and her marriage but that one day is a day she would rather forget.

Some people need to stop viewing the world through such a negative lense and stop holding people to their own ideas about how they live their lives.

 

Post # 98
Hostess
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@leahlou:  Oh sweetie, that really sucks!!!! Well…coming from a bride who had some hickups on her day too…I would tell you to just think about the good…but I think a redo is more promising. How about a private vow renewal 5 years down the road?!

Post # 99
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Bookmarks:  why do you keep attacking OP and critizing her? you already stated once that you think she’s choosing to feel this way. ok, now lay off.

 

update: I just read all your comments. you’re acting absolutely crazy. i encourage you to read all of you’re comments once you’ve cooled off and reflect on why this touched a button for you.

Post # 100
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@Bookmarks:  Why do you keep commenting like this?? You’re not helping the OP, you’re just fanning the flame to make yourself feel superior. Yes, the wedding is about the marriage, and not the details, the OP even admitted that! But sheesh, you’re allowed to vent about details not going how you planned—you do pay thousands of dollars for the details, after all. Let the girl have her vent. What do you gain by harping on her in such an aggressive way?

Post # 101
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee

@Bookmarks:  Congratulations. You’ve made the entire thread about you now, which I believe was entirely the point. You made an insanely dramatic thread over a freakin’ ring,  and you wanna call out the OP for being dramatic? Girl, BYE! All this talk about how you learned something from your previous thread is BS.

To the OP, sorry things about your wedding day disappointed you. My dad basically paid for everything and he allowed no alcohol, and no cocktail hour, so my guests were left hungry for an hour while we took pictures. It got to the point where my cousin had to go to Mickey D’s to get my grandma some food. It was so RATCHET, but it’s hilarious to me now. Hi-freakin-larious.

 

You will totally laugh about everything later. You’re MARRIED now! How awesome is that?

 

 

 

Post # 102
Member
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Just know you aren’t alone! Our wedding also didnt’ turn out anything like we imagined, so much drama, I felt more alone than I have ever felt in my whole life! I kinda felt like I just wanted to get through it….I dont’ even remember relishing in any one moment, I didn’t get to really take it all in because of all the stress and dissapointments. So much went wrong, but it’s been over a year and we have eachother…my first anni card even mentioned that although our wedding wasn’t whwat we imagined, that I hope for a marriage more belutiful and full of joy than any one day could ever contain….and it’s true. I actually cry so much when I see older couples renewing their vows, I have a hard time really getting weepy over weddings themselves anymore. For me, there was nothing anyone could do or say to make me feel better about what I had to go through, I just had to let time help me get over it. 

Post # 104
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee

@leahlou:  You weren’t rude at all. Not one bit.

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