(Closed) I have a confession to make and need some support…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time with it!

I also have a confession to make: I HATED WEDDING PLANNING TOO! (Yes, CAPs were necessary!)

Post # 5
Member
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am sorry to hear. I am planning away from were all my friends and family are to, and since we are going back home it is kind of like a destination wedding.

Some things are so super frustrating, but I’ve just been trying to focus on one task at a time, completing that and moving on. I know it doesn’t always work like this, but there are fun parts.

I hope it gets better for you.

Post # 6
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I HATE IT TOO! and I don’t even think I’m much of a bridezilla, I just hate all the work that goes into it. I just want it all done and so I can enjoy the day and move on! Yeah, I really do not enjoy obsessing over shoes or worrying if the seamstress is going to ruin my dress or if anyone will even show up! I can totally see why people turn into bridezillas though. You have so much to do that it’s really hard to maintain perspective, especially once you start going and you want to see your “vision” fulfilled, or at least get what you want considering how much money you’re shelling out. Is it too much to ask to want pie AND ice cream?? (Okay, maybe that’s just me on that last one).

Post # 7
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I would say that if the excitement I feel leading up to the wedding is any indication of how great my wedding day will be, then yes, it is worth it. I’m not sure how far in to the planning process you are but here is something I posted on another thread that may help you out:

 

“I felt just like you. (Seriously, you can even go back and read my first thread if you want.) I never dreamed of what my wedding would be like when I was a little girl or even as a teenager. I dreamed of being married, but not the wedding. And upon getting engaged, I knew I would be doing 95% of the work and I knew we would be on budget, so I was really not looking forward to the research that would go in to planning it.

Finally, after changing our minds 100 different times, I told my FH that I wanted to elope– at that point, I didn’t care who was there or not (I knew the most important people would be there regardless). Anyway, he told me that it was really important to him to have a wedding and have all of our friends and family celebrate with us, so I told him that since it’s mostly what he wants (though I’m sure I’ll be thrilled on the actual day), I need help from him. I know he’s not a planner, so we compromised that he would take other things (chores, etc) off my plate so that I wouldn’t be so damn stressed out, and that was nice.

The hardest part for us was deciding what type of wedding we were going to go with (evening party style, sit down dinner, buffet, cake and dessert reception in the park, cocktails and hors doeurves, court house and restaurant after, finding a Bring Your Own Everything location and starting from scratch, etc). There are so many options and it’s SO HARD to choose. Once we finally pinned it down (Sunday noon time ceremony with a brunch buffet reception on a yacht, over at 4pm), everything else fell into place.

All that is to say that there are a couple of things you need to figure out first: BUDGET (though I’m sure you know that) and the type of event you’re going for. After that, it seems that everything else falls into place. By The Way, even working a lot, I think you could plan a wedding in a year if you want to.

Oh, a couple of other things:

1) I’m the type of person that keeps a lot of details private because a) I don’t want to ruin the surprise of the actual day and b) I don’t want to hear complaining if people don’t like my plans. So, in answering questions, I am vague or “We’re not sure yet.”  

2) I have tried to have low expectations for people (aside from FH) so that if they put in effort, it’s a nice surprise rather than the opposite. People don’t start to really get excited until the wedding is about 6 months away.

3) Don’t procrastinate. If you know you’re going to have a slow month at work or something, get stuff for the wedding done.

4) WAIT TO PICK YOUR Bridal Party, especially if the wedding is not going to be for two years. If you change your mind and decide to do it next year, maybe take the summer to really think about your Bridal Party (and observe your friends’ actions towards you/ your upcoming wedding), and pick them towards the end of summer. Things change!

5) Probably most important: Don’t second guess yourself. Once you’ve made a decision, move on to the next and unless new information comes to light, don’t revisit those decisions. And along the same vein, be honest with yourself about what you’re dealing with– you may not even really care! I didn’t really care about my flowers so I didn’t make a big deal out of chosing my florist and centerpieces.

Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think a lot more people than you realize are with you on hating wedding planning! Idk if I would go to “hate” for wedding planning as a whole, but there are definitely aspects of it that I hate…and most of it I at least dislike 🙂 I would say just don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself. 

Post # 9
Member
4606 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I HATE wedding planning.

I only have the rough draft of the guest list done and a dress that I regret buying. I don’t have a color scheme, I don’t have a venue or anything else for that matter. I’m starting to have dreams about it being the day of my wedding and I don’t have flowers or the wedding rings.

I don’t have a lot of support either. I’m not that creative so it’s hard for me to put things together. My mom, while now dealing with a medical issue, hasn’t been supportive at all, hasn’t offered to help. None of my friends are helping. My Future Mother-In-Law is helping some but she doesn’t live here and works nearly every day so I feel like I’m going this alone.

I’ve been wanting to just go to the courthouse for a while now even though I know that’ll never fly with anyone. Unless my parents don’t help out a little, then all the stress I’ve been under lately will have been for nothing and FH and I will have to go to the courthouse anyway.

Post # 11
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’ve been hating on wedding planning all over Wedding Bee. LOL. It’s no sercret that I hate it.

I am the same as you, can’t wait to just see my Fiance on that day, marry him and live happily ever after.

I wish we would have eloped!

 

Post # 12
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am currently have 4 months to go and I’m HATING every second of planning at this point too!  From my dress coming in with visible flaws after paying full price, to problems with a priest I can never track down and worrying if he will even show up the day of, to pushy family, and a bridesmaid that keeps complaining behind my back.

I have family and close friends locally but my family and friends don’t seem to get the work that goes into all this or care to listen half the time.  It’s like having a miserable unpaid second job.

I recently got so frustrated I thought about backing out of everything, but I can’t unless I would be willing to lose a lot of money.

At least on the bee you can always find someone else who can commiserate.

Post # 13
Member
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@acaciafigg: sorry but this comment you made doesn’t make sense We just passed the 3 months to go mark and I just don’t know how everything is going to get done…

Post # 15
Member
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Ugh, I can’t wait for a day when I don’t have to make a decision and when everyone will stop asking me about how the wedding planning is going even though I don’t want to talk about it.  What am I going to do for the flowers, the music, blah, blah!!  And so much pressure, I hope this wedding is going to be fabulous cuz everyone thinks so!!

On the other hand, I’m super excited to get married to my Fiance, have fun with my friends (I hope!) and can’t wait to wear the dress!! lol

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