Post # 1
I’m a lifelong resident of CA and I work in education. On a whim, a few weeks ago I applied to a job at a prestigious university on the east coast. Now I am deep into the interview process and starting to get concerned.
On one hand, I do need to find a new job soon as my contract is ending. This job would be a big career opportunity for me. I’ve applied for a few jobs near me and haven’t had success yet- and while I feel confident that I will find work again I’m also terrified that it won’t happen quickly.
On the other hand, my husband is tied to his job in CA. We own a home and have pets. The proposed plan is that, if the job paid enough, I’d move to the east coast for at least a year and maybe he could eventually follow me out there. I don’t want to leave any of them. If it were just me, I’d accept an offer in a heartbeat. Since it’s not just me, I’m considering canceling the interview.
BEES TALK ME THROUGH THIS.
Post # 3
What’s the job market like for CA? Is this a once in a lifetime kind of opportunity, or could you find something similar closer to home?
Post # 4
@likewoah: What do you really want to do?
You need to think about the pros and cons of this job before it’s offered to you because then the pressure is really on. Consider whether a few months of forgoing an income while you find a job in CA will be worth it, or if you really do need to move for this specific job. Also consider the fact that you’ll be paying for two households instead of one.
I recently had to make a similar decision and realized that taking a six figure paycut to stay in my expensive-but-not-nearly-NYC-expensive city was worth it since I would be in NYC by myself, while my Fiance would remain in Toronto. For me, it was also a major prestigious career move, but in the end, the simple emotional need to continue living with my Fiance took greater precedence over the job offer. However, I was able to make that decision knowing that we wouldn’t go broke/struggle should I stay in Toronto and continue job searching. If finances required me to move, I would have!
Also, discuss your husband’s realistic job opportunities in the new city. Would he be able to find a position from across the country? Would a position in the new city pay as much? Would he have room to grow? You won’t want to be stuck in a bicoastal relationship, so hammer down these details before moving forward. You have time until the offer comes, but get on it!
Post # 5
Interview! Hell, you can always say no, if you look over your options and decide it’s not right. But I would say GO FOR IT. It’s always easier to move around on your level in a career than it is to get the opportunity to take the next step up.
Post # 6
I would go ahead and interview. Unless you don’t want the job (which doesn’t sound true) you should hear their offer before ruling it out.
Post # 7
Don’t cancel the interview. Leave your options open.
Post # 8
Dh and I have had this same conversation. He’s had a few offers where he would be States away for at least a year. We concluded that if he had a good enough offer that it would benefit our future we would do it. I would stay behind so our youngest could finish his senior year and once he goes away to college I would follow.
In the end it’s about how you two communicate. Dh and I have been apart a few times for three months or longer so it’s tested our communication and how we handle things. We did pretty good, to my surprise. I never thought I could handle it.
How would moving affect you dh’s career? Could he find a career step in the area to which you are looking at?
Post # 9
Go to the interview and make the decision when an offer is on the table. You will learn a lot by going there and meeting people and having an actual decision to make. Right now your decision is whether or not to turn down an interview, not a job.
Post # 10
@likewoah: Go for the interview at least. This is probably a once in a lifetime opportunity! You can worry about the logistics and make the decisions when you get the job.
Post # 11
It sounds like the consensus is to at least do the next interview.
I don’t think this job will make or break my career, but if I want to have an Ivy League on my resume this is probably my best shot right now. I can work pretty much anywhere in the country but unfortunately my husband can’t stray too far from Silicon Valley.
Post # 12
@likewoah: DEFINITELY accept the interview! As far as accepting the job, that’s a whole other decision – cross that bridge if and when an offer materializes. But, in academia? Definitely go on the interview, check out the campus and colleagues, make some connections. I don’t know what field you’re in, but something like this is an opportunity for you to meet colleagues at a top institution. Whether this turns into a job offer or not, you can talk to them about your research, and down the road who knows what that might lead to? One of them might be interested in collaborating with you on a project, or they might know a colleague at XYZ University who would be a great connection for you to have, etc. … no matter what, at least take the interview!
Post # 13
So they offered me the job. In addition to the other concerns I outlined, I just found out the job would involve a significant pay cut. Is it possible to live in NYC on ~50k? I’d want to live out there by myself for a few months to make sure I actually like it before my husband looks for a new job and puts the house on the market. But I’m not sure it’s actually feasible for me to afford NYC on that paycheck. Can any NYC bees offer me feedback?
edit: this is a student service job, not faculty
Post # 14
@likewoah: I live in a city that is cheaper than NYC (Toronto) and I don’t think I’d survive here in a neighbourhood worth living in on $50k/year. I have spent summers in NYC interning, and unless you have assets and you’re husband makes a better income, your standard of living will likely suffer.
Post # 15
@likewoah: I am in your exact position but I have a son! If they offer me the job, I will take it as well as my son. I will come back to where my Darling Husband lives during the summers. When (and if) my husband can join us, he will. We are not an attached-at-the-hip couple by any means.
ETA: That was before I read about the paycut. Outch!
Post # 16
@likewoah: if you take the job I doubt you’d be able to live in the city, you’ll probably have to commute into the city on that budget..