Post # 1
Okay, I read everyones responses and thought long and hard about losing a friendship over a ring. I am trying really hard to be the bigger person and let it go. My Fiance however, wont let it go and wants to sell my ring and get a different one. That’s a whole different story that I refuse to touch with a ten foot pole, I’m keeping quiet and letting him do whatever makes him feel better.
Anyway, after the whole ring ordeal my “friend” and I don’t talk as often as we used to, and we are both trying to slowly mend the friendship. However, these last three weeks she’s gone out of control. To those of you who said “don’t share wedding details with her”, well, I kind of did back before she got her ring. She was my bff, and asked constant questions which I was only too happy to answer for her seeing as she was my maid of honor. Now that she’s engaged and planning her own wedding, I’m at a loss. I swear to you I am NOT overreacting/exaggerating ANYTHING I am about to post. She is doing my theme, my cake, and my colors. And just last week she announced her “potential” date. . .(drumroll plz) Its the date I picked that we had discussed when she had asked back in Feb. Its the date my Fiance and I bacame “official’, the date has NO significance to her whatsoever. When I asked why on earth she picked that date, she said the other months were too hot and wouldn’t say anything else. I re-explained the significance of the date, and am waiting to see what happens next. Our weddings are two years away, there’s plenty of time for her to change her mind (my Fiance refuses to budge even though I don’t think the date is a good pick, he wants a date with “significance”). I’ve tried to hint and ask why she’s doing this, but whenever I say anything about her ideas being the same as mine she is quick to defend herself and say they are not. I’m trying to take all this in stride because I truly don’t know what to do. Is a wedding worth a friendship? My Fiance and my family are livid and not helping matters. Fiance doesn’t want to have anything to do with my friend or her Fiance anymore, which I can understand but I had enjoyed hanging out with them as couples, and again she is my friend. Now she’s on a mission to find out what color dress I’ve picked, and let me tell you I’m not saying ONE WORD
I guess now I’m more depressed about it all then anything, as my maid of honor I had hoped she would be supportive and go with me to try on dresses and do fun things that a typical bff should want to do together, and now everything just feels like it’s a mess. I’ve asked her to go with me to help me pick out place cards once as a peace offering and she spent the whole time picking and ordering hers. Hopefully it will all blow over, who knows; maybe I’ll tell her my dress is green and pink 😉
Post # 3
I’m sorry, but your ‘friend’ is being a bitch!! I am with your Fiance and family on this… this is no friend of yours. Do NOT change a thing about your wedding, keep it as planned, including the date. Do not invite her, and tell her no more about your plans.
Post # 4
You need to stop talking to her. She’s not a ‘friend’ – she is crazy.
Post # 5
This chick is a freak, and she’s treating you like your name is Style Me Pretty. I’d cut her loose. If she had any couth, or cared about your friendship at all, she wouldn’t be doing this. If she asks why, tell her the absolute, honest-to-God truth.
Post # 6
Your “friend” is creeping me out. Sorry, you did nothing wrong, but she’s really… got some kind of issues, and as they seem to be largely about imitating you, I advise you to keep your distance.
Just cut contact with her and have your wedding exactly how you want it. Don’t even pay attention to whtever she is doing for hers.
Post # 7
You need to drop all contact with this woman and stop speaking to her about anything at all. She is insane. And hey, if she really wants to have her wedding on the same day then it’ll be easy enough to kick her out of your bridal party 😉
Post # 8
With the way this crazy is acting, I wouldn’t be surprised if she tried to steal your groom, too! Your wedding and planning should be a postitive experience. Being afraid of giving away details because your psycho “bff” might steal your shit is not positive! Also, two years is a LONG ways away..Think of the wedding trends two years ago! So I think you maybe actually dodged a bullet there 😉 Plan your new, better, most amazing wedding and if you don’t dump her as a friend, DON’T say a peep about it. ESPECIALLY about venues and vendors. I also think you seem to be a little timid… Straight up say “That is my anniversary with Fiance, we already planned on getting married that day, and I KNOW I told you that. For the sake of our friendship, please pick another date”. Quit tip toeing around this! If she refuses, cut her loose.
Post # 9
@iadornyou: +1 this. totally crazy pants.
Post # 10
She picked your same date? Are there a lot of people who would be invited to both weddings? If not, then great, you have a reason to not attend her wedding and not invite her to yours. If there are a lot of guests who would be invited to both, maybe send your save-the-dates really early, without telling her anything about it, of course.
Your friend sounds like she has some weird issues. I think it’s time to let this friendship go. I would fade away, however, rather than have some friendship breakup. Definitely don’t involve her in any more of your wedding planning. If she asks, tell her you spend so much time planning that you don’t want to talk about it, that your plans are a surprise, whatever.
Post # 11
@asbtoabs: unless she invites my family (I honestly don’t know if she would invite any of them, maybe my cousin and my mom maybe but I know they wouldn’t go) I really don’t think so. I don’t have that many friends going to our wedding, its mostly family as my family is HUGE.
Post # 12
Plain & Simple she is a PSYCHO CHICK….
Cut off all ties… and keep your distance !!
As they say… Be Afraid… Be VERY Afraid !!
Post # 13
I guess now I’m more depressed about it all then anything, as my maid of honor I had hoped she would be supportive and go with me to try on dresses and do fun things that a typical bff should want to do together, and now everything just feels like it’s a mess.
I would say this exact thing to her. Tell her that’s what you’d hoped, but her selfishness has taken the joy out of it for you.. and that’s what best friends should do; share in your joy. I wouldn’t just drop it without a conversation. This is just too weird for there not to be something deeper going on.
Post # 14
@TupHoney: Wow, that SUCKS. Your friend is craaaazy. I think it is really cool that you decided to be the bigger person and calm things down, but she clearly didn’t take the bait. Sigh. Especially with the wedding date thing. I know she 100% remembered that it was your date, and used it anyhow. You don’t forget things like that. That is truly just insane to me.
Try telling her your dress is a slightly off beat but still believable colour – a blush, champagne, pale blue, something like that. Or send her a pic of one you tried on but decided against it? See what she does, and then that will be really indisputable proof she is copying you and at that point you’d have more than enough grounds to just outright confront her about it all.
I mean hell, you could do that now, without the dress thing, I just think it would be really funny to see her buy a dress she doesn’t even really like simply because she thinks it’s yours.
Also, if she isn’t willing to move her date at all (which considering she sound psychotic, I wouldn’t be surprised) have your wedding be a week or two earlier, but dooon’t tell her until it’s past a point where she can do anything to change hers. Let her be the one with details that look blatantly copied from a week prior.
Post # 16
just ditch her. i can get over someone who copies my exact wedding down to every last detail but not someone who would purposely schedule their wedding on my date not so much. Just go ahead planning your wedding on your original date and let this friendship fizzle.