Post # 1
How long does it generally take a guy to propose from the time he seriously starts looking into engagement rings? I mean I’m sure it depends on several factors, such as whether he’s buying it on credit or layaway and other things. I’m just wondering what the average timeline is because my boyfriend first mentioned e rings for the first time in Nov or Dec. It still seemed far away as he was kind of vague about it, but he’s been talking a bit more about it. Not ALOT, but I can tell he definitely has been researching different cuts and styles (He’s currently into cushion cut solitaire rings :)). He’s even seemed more interested in what I have to say about it than ever before. With that said, I still kinda feel like it might be a while, but I’m getting my hopes up that he is bringing it up more than I do these days (maybe just 2 or 3 times). I asked my close friend who got engaged Christmas 2010, and she said her fiance started seeming more interested in engagement rings just a few months before he proposed. I can’t help but get my hopes up that it could just be a few months away. Or it could be a few more months because he did make a comment in November about his student loan payments bumping up his credit score in 9 months (augustish), and in his words “then we can start making plans *wink wink* *smile and change the subject*.” Ahhh, I’m analyzing this way too much. I wish it would happen by our 3 yr anniversary in March, but the realistic side to me tells me to stop dreaming. lol. All I know is that I am definitely going to be somewhat sad if it doesn’t happen by the end of 2012. He doesn’t know this though. Hey a year is a lot for him to work with right? 🙂
Post # 3
It is totally different for every couple!
My Fiance bought my ring 2 days after we went ring shopping (he didn’t tell me he bought it that day, but I later figured it out). It took him 6-7 weeks to get the ring since it was custom. He was planning on holding onto the ring for a month or so before proposing, but ended up asking me a week after he got it.
All in all, he proposed just about 2 months after we went ring shopping and he bought it.
ETA: We had been discussing rings/engagement for a few months before ring shopping and I kept asking him when we could go just to look at rings. One weekend he surprised me and said he wanted to go, so I made a few appointments at jewelers.
Post # 4
awww That’s awesome 🙂 I wish that would happen to me!!! haha.
Thanks for your response. I’m sure you are right and it is most definitely different for every couple. I just can’t help but analyze it in my head 🙂
Post # 5
Please try not to think about it! Take it from me, you will just drive yourself crazy. There is absolutely no way to know what your SO’s plans are based on what other people have done. That being said my fiance had the ring in his possession for 7 months before he proposed! There is just no telling.
Post # 6
Agreed… dont think about it! My surprise was completely ruined for me and I regret it.
But, here’s what happened with mine. I asked him honestly if he had any intentions of proposing. I’m pretty ballsy like that. He said yes, but he wanted to wait until we had been dating about 3 years. I thought that was good enough, so I left it at that.
This summer, at our two year mark, we decided to plan a vacation. I made one comment along the lines of “Ooo… a proposal on vacation would be awesome, especially since we’re going around Xmas time!” He agreed and left it at that. But secretly, he took my advice to heart and started planning. He asked me about rings maybe once or twice. Three months from that, he proposed.
There is no rhyme or reason, or really any way to predict it unless you have a set date. But there is no reason why, if you’ve been dating long and enough and have been on the same page, to ask when he planned on doing it.
Post # 7
I think it was only a few weeks? My husband used his parents’ jeweler, bought one on his first visit, and then I think he had it for 2-3 weeks before proposing to me? I am not sure, but it happened quick and 100% to my surprise.
Post # 8
Its different for every couple. In our case once Fiance started looking at rings, it was his within 2 weeks. Though, he had a big wad of money saved away for a long time but just never looked at rings until he knew he was ready to go for it 😉
He proposed about 1.5-2 weeks after he got the ring.
Post # 9
Thanks for the responses. You girls gave me some stuff to think about. Yeah I don’t wanna think about it too much and become obsessed! lol
And I am defintely aware of not wanting to ruin my surprise. I don’t even really want to be involved in picking out the engagement ring because I want the “surprise romantic fairytail.” I’m such a sap, really. I think that’s why I am analyzing so much because I haven’t asked much about “when” he wants to do it.
Thanks again 🙂 I appreciate the thought put into your responses.
Post # 10
I think the best way to tell how long it will take him is to gauge what stage he is currently at in the ring buying process. Like a house, if a guy is in the market for a ring he might start thinking about it several months or years in advance as more of an abstract future purchase. Like “I know I’m going to have to eventually buy this, so I’m going to start paying attention to what is available”. At that stage, he could be pretty far out from actually buying and proposing and unfortunately will probably get your hopes up since he’ll be talking to you about rings.
But.. if he is a step further and has figured out what he wants to spend, how he’s going to pay and exactly what ring he wants to buy then it is a matter of weeks. He just has to pick it out, then BAM once he gets it from the store he will most likely propose immediately. They tend to catch fire once they are placed into the guys pocket 🙂
Seriously though, I would try to gauge where he is in the process for your own sanity. The next time he brings it up, ask about how he plans to pay for it, etc. and if he has a clear answer then he might be pretty close. If his answer is vauge, I would try not to get your hopes up too high because he might not have everything in line quite yet.
Post # 11
Thanks moderndaisy. I’m glad you put it in those terms. That makes a lot of sense and helps me look at it more realisticly. Of course I would prefer to hear “girl, he is proposing tomorrow!” haha, but I know it’s better to be realistic so I won’t be obsessing over this. I think I just got excited because although he’s been talking about wanting to marry me for a long long time, it always seemed more vague and distant, as if it’s something to happen one day in the future. When he first brought up engagement rings, it surprised me that he had looked at ideas, and then I got even more excited when he started telling me about all the research he’s done about them. In regards to how he’s planning to pay for it, I don’t know. The only thing he said in regards to that is the comment about fixing up his credit so we can “plan things.” He could have been talking about anything, but of course I thought of the ring because he smiled in a teasing way. I suppose, it could be a far way off. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have money saved for it and I doubt he’s had it on layaway for a while if he just recently started to talk about it. He’s mentioned before (in reference to other couple friends) how he’s surprised a guy (in our age group) hasn’t proposed by 5 years, so I guess I can at least hope for being engaged by then right 😉 That’s two more years!!!
Post # 12
My fiance told me he was “ready to be engaged” (after I had mentioned that I was several months prior because I was initially opposed to getting engaged until much later) two years before he proposed. He purchased the ring two weeks before he proposed, and then had it physically in his possesion for only about 12 hours before he did it. It varies a lot between couples.
Post # 13
I asked my husband and his answer was “depends on if he has the one to buy the one he wants or not”.
Post # 14
I know this has been said, but it really varies from man to man. From the time he/we started seriously shopping for ring to the time he proposed, was less than a month.
Post # 15
We 1st looked at rings in May 2011. Finally found and bought a stone in September, thought we found a setting in October but it fell through. Commissioned a different ring to be made through someone else in November and it should be done this month. I think he’ll propose this month but who knows.
The point is that you could have the worlds best intentions but just not find something you love. You may walk into the 1st store you ever go to and find the one immediately. We’re looking at an 8 month process for us. Do I wish we would have found something sooner? Of course. But we waited and found the perfect ring at the right price through the perfect jeweler. Waiting has really paid off for the both of us and given the choice I’d do it all over again. Really. I’m sure your SO will have plenty of time to get something together before the year is over. It’ll go quicker than you expect. 🙂
Post # 16
From the time we looked at rings together and him proposing was a few months…. however the day he went by himself to pick a ring and him proposing was like 3-4 weeks. He brought the ring the same day he asked (he was waiting on his income tax refund to buy the ring).