(Closed) I have an irrational fear of sleeping alone – any advice??

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I had the same issue. My Darling Husband works second shift so I would wait until 1am to go to sleep and then have to wake up at 6am for my normal day job. It was horrible. We recently got a dog and it has made me feel much safer. She barks at all kinds of little noises, so it makes me feel better and I can sleep. I hope you can get through it.

Post # 4
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

You’ll feel better once the puppy grows up! Until then you can try sleeping on the couch? You may feel better in the front room versus in a back bedroom if you’re scared?

Post # 5
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I felt this way too. Especially in our old townhouse because our next door neighbor died in his house and it really freaked me out because the house was still empty! Whenever Darling Husband was away for a night I would have such a hard time and would try to get people to come stay the night! I feel much more comfortable in our new SFH but I still get weirded out by noises. It helps that we have a dog and I keep my phone right next to me. I also double check all the locks on the doors!

Post # 6
Member
1537 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I have the same problem. We got a dog for this same reason. Now that he is grown he makes me feel 100x better. We’ve trained him to bark when strangers come to the door because my Fiance is out of town a lot. I also make a habit of keeping everything locked. If I have some doubt that someone has had the windows open or have been through the back door I will do a walk through before bed so that I don’t hear a random noise in the night and get worried. I leave the front boot room light on and the front door light on as well. We’ve also trimmed back all the folliage around the outdoors of our house to detracht anyone from hiding around the house.

If you make your house look as if it’s hard to break into chances are no one will try. Don’t leave your windows open and be careful to keep things well lit. The best way to feel safe is to know that your home is in fact safe. Another option would be to have an alarm system installed. You can even get the ones that beep when doors or windows are open. A quick alternative to this would be to head down to the local hardware store and install door buzzers that stick on to your door frame and cost about $20 for 2.

I’m a tad bit paranoid from a past experience so I also have bear mace that I keep in my dresser side table. Just be sure to keep things like that out of the reach of children and pets.

Post # 7
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My hubby is away alot due to work, so i know what your going through.  i am in the middle of adjusting and getting use to it but it definitely gets better. 

I agree with PitBulLover, definitely keep a phone with you while your in the house and by your bedside, lock all doors and keep lights on and blinds on semi closed.  having lights in the house on timers is also nice, so your house is nicely lit when you get home and it automatically turns off so you don’t need to worry about it before going to bed. if you have trouble sleeping, try keeping a small light on and once you’ve found you’ve dozed off you’ll probably wake up, then turn off the light.

Post # 9
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I had a similar problem, and the only thing that helped me was background noise and distraction.  I left the TVs on in the living room and the bedroom and watched until I fell asleep.  That way, I didn’t hear or pay attention to little noises, and I wasn’t laying there in a silent house thinking about ridiculous things that might happen.  More time spent sleeping alone has helped, and now I don’t have to do that anymore–I just make sure everything is locked and secure before I go to sleep, and I leave a light on by the door.  It will be okay!

Post # 10
Member
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@mrs.peters.to.be has some great suggestions – i would only add that sometimes it helps me to fall asleep with the tv on, so i cant hear all of the house-settling creaks that would make me worry all night – and i let the dog sleep in bed with me when Fiance is at work overnight – reading something light and funny before bed helps too (but dont make the mistake i made with the suspense novel one night ha)

Post # 11
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Maybe do you think a security system will help?

I was that way when we first moved here.  I wasn’t working so I basically was awake all night and slept during the day when my husband was gone.  Yeah, it was a weird system but I figured no one would break in during the day.

Post # 12
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I have a dog… and I leave the TV on low.   It just took some time to get used to it, but it’s good now!

Post # 13
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We have a security system and it allows me to sleep in peace when my husband is away. I lived alone for quite awhile and it’s just something you do and get over it. The more you do it, the better it gets!

Post # 14
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

In my last place I was scared to sleep alone because it was like 100+ years old, super creeky, and the bedroom door did not have a lock. Basically I just forced myself to do it. But… I did make a blockade in front of the bedroom door so I’d hear if someone opened the door the first few nights and slept with mace next to my bed heh. 

Post # 15
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

You’ve gotten some great suggestions and I just wanted to add one; try sleeping with a t-shirt that your husband has worn for a few hours. You may find his scent very comforting.

Post # 16
Member
206 posts
Helper bee

@MissHelen: I always sleep in my SO’s t-shirts when he is gone. Good call!

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