(Closed) I have an ogler….advice?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
5013 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

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just4thefunuvit:  YUCK!  Grunting?  This made me cringe.

Post # 17
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

“Then just yesterday, a young girl in a sports bra and tight pants was out running, as we’re driving by, he actually turned his head to look, then looked in the rear view mirror to keep her in his sights.”

The word ‘young’ really stood out to me.. I’m hoping you meant a young woman not a young girl!

Post # 18
Member
4697 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

This is just so foul. People like your husband are why some women feel uncomfortable dressing how they want to.. To think I could be running in workout wear and be ogled like that makes my skin crawl.

Advice? Find yourself a more evolved partner.

Post # 19
Member
2730 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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just4thefunuvit:  he actually made a grunting noise while looking at her (he does this when he really likes something).

Um, is he a freaking gorilla?

He needs to control himself. It’s not only disrespectful to you, but to the women he’s ‘ogling’. Yes, noticing attractive people is natural but blatantly staring and grunting (ew) is going way too far. He’s not a pubescent teen or an animal lacking control. He either keeps his eyes to himself or he can grunt his way to single town.

Post # 20
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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SoonAsYouCan:  “or he can grunt his way to single town”

lol!!

Post # 21
Member
1688 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I don’t care that it’s disrespectful of you. It’s disrespectful of these women. That is not acceptable. He needs a reminder that women are people and that he’s a piece of shit.

Post # 22
Member
1887 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m usually okay with my Fiance having a look at other women (because that’s ALL he gets, haha), but that’s a quick glance, something that’s not going to be obvious and make the poor woman uncomfortable. Grunting at another woman at your kid’s party? That’s disrespectful to you AND her, and I’d bring it up with him.

Post # 23
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

When I read the title, I thought it was going to be a post about someone ogling you and I was creeped out by the dude. 

But to read that it’s your fiancé doing the ogling, I think this warrants, at least, a conversation about respect for you and your relationship. 

Post # 26
Member
5874 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

That’s not just disrespectful to you…that’s disrespectful to the women he’s ogling. Sounds gross.

Definitely bring it up. Let him know that you notice, you don’t appreciate it, and that it’s not behavior you’d like to see modeled for your son. Also remind him just because he finds a woman attractive doesn’t mean he needs to turn into a caveman who forgets his manners. it’s not nice to stare. Many women find that very threatening.

Post # 27
Member
3287 posts
Sugar bee

Beyond your relationship that is not an okay way to treat a female. I would be concerned he thinks this is an okay way to treat people. 

Post # 28
Member
1688 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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Ukulele4You:  I don’t think many people who behave in this way consider women to be people.

Post # 29
Member
2123 posts
Buzzing bee

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thelibrarylady:  I actually agree with this. Sorry OP, but your fiance sounds awful. You can choose to stay with him and be disrespected, but all the other ladies he’s staring and grunting at have the right to wear a bikini, or go running, without having some creepy perve making them feel uncomfortable. Honestly, I’d leave him. 

Post # 30
Hostess
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

Grunting at something he likes.  How barbaric. Disgusting.  I would not stand for that.  

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