(Closed) I have doubts about my MOH

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
2072 posts
Buzzing bee

If you still want the friendship let alobe her to be moh you should sit down with her and discuss your relationship and the misunderstandings and see if you think it can be repaired. I would save the moh talk until you see if the friendship will get better again.

Post # 17
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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tulips24:  um, that is a bit rediculous!!!!! Shame on her for only seeing the bad in you for cancellin dates when she does the same thing. Unfortunately it may be a bit awkward but I still think that you should voice how you feel on a dinner date, or even invite her over for a tea [ cuz of your health situation] and re-voice your feelings on these matters. Cuz they are still very important to be discussed, even if she does turn into a closed book.

And you just said it yourself, how come you are doing all the work towards keeping and maintaining this friendship if she doesnt even care to try?

Ive been friends with 3 girls since I was 17, first year of college, and all of us hav cancelled  MULTIPLE and I mean multiple because two now have kids and two also live 45 minutes away. We all understand, and dont get mad or hold grudges against eachother because you know, life is life, its not always easily pre planned and manageable

Post # 18
Member
4682 posts
Honey bee

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jehn11:  I understand her being annoyed on the day of(bride brain happens), but a year later? No. It is incredibly petty to be bringing up forgotten orange juice still. It was totally rude of the OP to be an hour late for photos, but stuff happens, and she apologized. These are not things to ruin a friendship over. That is why she needs to talk to this girl and find out what is really going on. If it is actually about orange juice, well, it will be her choice whether or not to have someone that high maintenance in her wedding.

Post # 19
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

yep yep yep

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Bridey77:  

Post # 20
Member
4682 posts
Honey bee

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tulips24:  “She refues to ask me to hang out for the time being because she’s afraid i’m going to reschedule or cancel.”<br /><br /><br />

How often are you flaking on her? You post makes it sound like a lot, and she has a reason to be irritated by that. I understand that stuff happens and health concerns are legit, but there does come a point when you have to own up to the fact you are unreliable, and either change it or tell her she needs to just accept that plans made with you will never be “solid.”

Post # 25
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Yes, this seems far too stressful for ya babe. I personally would maintain a safe distance cuz to be honest that is not how a mature friend should act. Especially your last bit you wrote that she said. Come on we’re not 13.

Brunch may not be a bad idea to tell her the truth. Even if she doesnt wana hear it or shuts down. you tell her this is why I dont want to ask you to be Maid/Matron of Honor. this is EXACTLY why. Because you are acting like this. How can I read your mind? I can’t!

I would seriously keep some distance if she keeps acting like this towards you bee, it DOES NOT seem how a friendship should go, at all.

Im sorry

Post # 27
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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tulips24:

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Bridey77:  

My point wasn’t that the bride should still be mad at the lack of orange juice situation. I just didn’t think we should judge that the picture is lame if that’s what she wanted. Sorry if I came off the wrong way.

I agree with most of you that it’s really sad that your friend would still hold a grudge and be mad at you over things after all this time. If she refuses to meet with you to discuss it, even knowing how regretful and bad you feel about your mistakes, obviously your friendship isn’t worth too much to her. I, too, would be apprehensive about having her in my wedding. I really wish you the best of luck and hope things work out for the best, whether it be with her at your side or not.

Post # 28
Member
4682 posts
Honey bee

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tulips24:  She sounds very high maintenance. If you continue the friendship, I would make it a point keep all of your plans unless there is a real legit emergency. 

I think you need to hash it out with her. Maybe you guys just need to take a break from each other.

Post # 29
Member
2894 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

tulips24:  This is a tough one. I had an Maid/Matron of Honor who could probably write a long thread full of excuses as to why she completely and utterly dropped the ball on my wedding. The whole ordeal has really changed my opinion of  her. I’m not still angry with her (because who has time to carry around anger for over a year) but I admit that part of me will always remember how badly she let me down. It would mean something to me if she had ever made any type of meaningful attempt to “clear the air” as a PP put it. Even now, I’d still be willing to hear her out. Perhaps she has made certain realizations as to the error of her ways on her own (as you seem to have done) but that has nothing to do with me. Knowing how much wedding-stress was directly attributable to her shenannigans, it would be hurtful for me to know that I’m doing my very best to make her day special when she almost ruined mine. I don’t have any reason to believe that I would enjoy being her Maid/Matron of Honor if she asked me and I would certainly decline. Are you sure she would be interested in being your MOH?

 

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