Post # 31
I think you are right. You know yourself what is good for you, and what isn’t.
You seem like a fabulous person who is aware of her shortcomings and has no problem discussing or trying to find a solution for said mistakes.
You deserve a great friend. If she is the way you say she is [if she said nice to kno ya n walked away] then maybe you have been putting in alot of effort this whole time and she just chooses to keep this relationship because like you said. time invested.
Post # 32
Thanks for asking that. It is ASSUMED that she is my Maid/Matron of Honor. Actually, I probably don’t even have to ask but out of tradition, I will ask. It was assumed that I was her Maid/Matron of Honor, mostly because she told me ahead of time and that she really doesn’t have another friend like me.
Here’s my concern about her being my Maid/Matron of Honor: She will still do all the duties and plan the things expected of a Maid/Matron of Honor, and might even go over the top. However, I’m afraid she’s going to hang it over my head and compare it to how I dropped the ball for her on her special day.
At the end of our convo, she said that she can be the most real with me aside from her family. But if being the most real with me means that you get to say whatever you want regardless of how it makes me feel.. I’m not exactly sure I want that. Even I do not go around saying whatever I want to whoever I want because I feel a certain way.
Post # 33
Yeah, being real doesnt fall in line with being inconsiderate with a ‘bff’ you’ve had for 15 years. If she was ‘real’ as she states, then she would be real with you in saying ‘well. you fucked up my wedding royally and i dont think i can ever forgive you’ Or Im going to be pissed at you for acouple years and nothing you can do to change it.
Post # 34
obviously you did NOT fuck up her wedding, just want to be clear on that.
Post # 35
Sorry, but I don’t believe in paying more than once for stuff (ie if you Fiance washed a red polo with your whites, I’m sure you’d pretty pissed. But you wouldn’t constantly bring it up to remind him of the time he messed up)
It seems like you’ve tried to make amends, but she isn’t budging. So… why are you still going to ask her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor If you think you’re never going to hear the end of it?
Post # 36
- Wedding: November 2014 - Hotel Bethlehem
I had a matron of honor not only did i only see her twice leading up to the wedding but she was late for hair & makeup. She also forgot to bring breakfast like she insisted she would bring. Didn’t pull through for my bachelorette. There was a lot of family issues and is dedicated to her job so i kinda expected this of her. I decided instead on focusing on my dissappointment that I would just enjoy my day. At this point am I mad at her? No. Why waste time and energy when I got to marry my best friend 🙂 I think she needs to focus on the positive outcome and let go of the insignificant fuss.
Post # 37
You seem aware of the instances where you’ve messed up before and apologised for it.
The point here is that for YOUR wedding, you will have a million and one other things to worry about, fretting about how she will behave or snarkiness she might direct towards you is drama you don’t need before, during or after. You don’t have to ask her, it’s absolutely your choice. Perhaps include her in other ways, but don’t give her the access to potentially hang it over your head when you should be concentrating on it being your day.