(Closed) I have made a decision!

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Nice! very good timing- past and anniversary and Vday! Good for you!!

Post # 4
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Great idea! Maybe he will see that you are relaxed and it will make him do it sooner! You never know! Congrats on your decision and I hope with all my heart it happens for you so that you dont need to go through this again in 6 months!!!!

Post # 5
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@impatientlywaiting20:  Sometimes it is easier to just say, “No more hints until the real deal.” I told SO this and was kinda mean, I said that &&& “I don’t want to hear anymore nonsense.” He took it kinda hard. That was a week ago. Today he asked me my ring size! Sometimes a push is good.

Post # 6
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Good luck and stay strong!

Post # 7
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@impatientlywaiting20:  Good for you! Taking charge of your life is a good thing. Try to use the next 6 months as a time to be free of engagement worry. Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee

It’s good that you’ve set a timeline. Why did you choose 2.5 years? I set my timeline at 3.5 years because that’s the point at which the odds of him ever proposing drop drastically.

My deadline is shortly after our third anniversary and our fourth V Day together. There won’t be another occasion when he might propose for at least another six months, so if he hasn’t proposed by that point I’ll cut my losses and end the relationship. My SO is aware of this timeline though, because I don’t want him claiming he’s been blindsided when I leave, and saying he didn’t even know I was unhappy or wanted a commitment, etc. He knows how long he has to make a decision about our future, so hopefully that will encourage him to think seriously about it.

Post # 9
Member
27 posts
Newbee

Good, and congrats. You are a wonderful lady, and maybe just maybe, he’ll start to think about things and realize you are the perfect lady for him. Then I hope, *fingers crossed* he gets his butt in gear. Good luck sweetie. *hugs*

Post # 10
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You can joke around and tell him “less talk, more action!” lol.  But seriously, I have been known to tell a guy that “talk is cheap,” meaning that I will refuse to entertain any hypothetical wedding talk without a ring.   In the past I let myself fall for a guy that was all talk (not saying this is your situation) so I’m more militant about watching a person’s actions rather than their words.   I don’t think that it would be bad in your situation if you told him you’d prefer to shelve the wedding talk until your ring finger is sparkling. 

Post # 11
Member
5065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

Good for you best of luck,

Post # 13
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@impatientlywaiting20:  Good luck!! You can totally do this!! LOL @ “So no more nagging and especially no more passive aggressive b*#^@%*g and moaning from me.” Yeah, that’s me!

SO:”Hey baby, lets go on a weekend ski trip with my work friends and their wives.”

ME: “I don’t want to be the only girlfriend there, it’s awkward.”

SO: “All the guys at work know we are PRACTICALLY married.”

ME: “I don’t think we have any business going until we are fully committed. And we aren’t practically married.  It is presumptuous of you to assume we are getting married before you have asked me.”

At least I’m being honest? lol

Seriously though, I think it’s a good plan!! And if you feel the need to nag, you have us bees!! You got this!!!

 

Post # 14
Member
37 posts
Newbee

Sounds good. But I’m also not opposed to letting them know you have some ideas of where things might go if he doesn’t propose! Lol!

I just recently told my boyfriend of 6 years that if he doesn’t do it soon, that I won’t be his girlfriend for very much longer! And seriously, I’m getting fed up with the waiting, ha.

Good luck!

 

Post # 15
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

Haha – love you ladies – yup! My Bf keeps hinting at a proposal/wedding and I just laid down the line last week – “I refuse to discuss anything wedding-related unless there’s a ring on my finger”. Lol! Gotta love age sometimes – I’ve certainly grown up from where I was 5 years ago – grovelling my ex for a ring that never came. And it makes him want to propose all the more to show that he’s serious!

Post # 16
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee

Wow, OP, I am so impressed with both your decision and your cutting back on accepting financial help. What an amazing example you are setting for your children about loving, responsible, and respectful behavior. You are a catch for any guy. I hope it works out with your man!

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