Post # 1
I’m posting under an anonymous name FYI.
So I guess I just really need to vent and get it all out. I asked Fiance to ask Future Mother-In-Law what she’s wearing to our wedding or if she has any ideas. I’m not asking her to have things picked out and assembled 5 months prior but I’m curious if she’s started looking. She gets on the phone and tells me that she still has months and what is this she’s hearing from people at work about matching colors to the wedding. I told her she could wear anything she wants in any color as long as it isn’t white obviously. She told me she didn’t know yet and didn’t even think of it because “I have months”.
Yes I understand my wedding is 5 months away but there has been NO excitement from this woman at all. It’s her only child to be married and you would think she would be over the moon. She likes me, this I know but I guess I was hoping for some more excitement from his own mother. I know my wedding isn’t the end all be all of everyones life, hell it doesn’t even consume that much of MY life right now.
Before anyone even suggests asking her to go shopping and pick something out together she isn’t that type of person. She has zero fashion sense and hates shopping all together. She would rather face a firing squad than go shop. I don’t even know the last time she bought something that wasn’t groceries. I don’t know what else to do, the whole point of this was really just to vent and get it out to people who don’t know me from a hole in the wall. But damnit, why can’t his family show a LITTLE freakin’ excitement.
Post # 3
I hope I don’t offend you, but for someone who hates shopping, which your Future Mother-In-Law obviously sounds like she does, why would you think she would already be looking for something? Sounds like she’s a last minute type of gal. Sorry.
Post # 4
I’m excited, does that help 😛
maybe she’s like me and is witing to lose those last few lbs before getting a dress for an upcoming wedding? I ahve one in June, I ahve an idea what I want to wear, but I’m also hoping I get one size down from what I’d need today. For me shopping for clothes can be tear inducing, not really exciting and just makes me feel like “fat fatty piles of fatness”.
Also, your Future Mother-In-Law might just not like modern styles of dresses, which could be a big reason she hates shopping – it’s hard to find things that aren’t too slinky and not enough fabric but are also not mumuus with sequins stuck on them. She sees finding soemthing to wear as a chore, not because she’s not into the wedding, but as you said SHE HATES SHOPPING. I hate sales people (een though I used to be one), I hate the crowds, I hate driving out of my way to go, setting aside time to go, only to feel like a sausage squeezed into a tight casing in an horribly lit dressing room with no where to put my purse.
Maybe she’s sad she might not have had a big/nice/special wedding, so she can’t get too excited about her sons. As the mother of the groom, there’s not usually a lot of things offered for her. Most things are picked and decided upon by the bride and her family. Mabye there is soemthing she’d like to help with, bt hasn’t been mentioned yet to her.
Maybe you should mention other aspects of the weding to her, like table decorations, flowers, cakes, music for her dance with her son (some people do that, right?), and find what she IS intersted in. You know it’s not clothes shopping, but give her other things to express her excitement about.
Post # 5
I dont know why you would post this anonymously … it isnt too crazy ..haha .. with that being said maybe she wants to drop a dress size before she looks for a dress ??
Post # 6
(I am typing this in the nicest tone possible) I honestly don’t understand why you are kinda freaking out about her not being excited to go shopping when she clearly hates shopping….. I don’t mind shopping but I don’t run out and buy clothes 5 months before any event LOL heck, I don’t even have a wedding dress yet.
Post # 7
I don’t think you should worry about 5 months. My Future Mother-In-Law hasn’t gone out to even begin looking for a dress yet. My wedding is 31 days (ONE MONTH!) away!! I’ve been nicely pestering her about it since Christmas. Luckily her daughter (one of my BMs) is taking her out this Saturday (4 weeks) before the wedding. I pray that they find something black and tea length- but its spring and there isn’t much black out there!
5 months is nothing to worry about- less than 5 weeks is a big thing to worry about!
Post # 8
It does suck!! But, my wedding is in two months and the MOG and MY MOM do not have dresses yet!! AUGH!! Since she doen’t like to shop, I would probably (closer to time) send her some ideas of what your mom is wearing to make it easier for her!!
Post # 9
THis would irritate me too.. actually it does because I am in the same boat with my Future Mother-In-Law and FSMIL.. We are six months out today actually. I asked them about a week ago if they had any ideas. Im not forcing them to get it now etc, but I got attitude so I just dropped it.
Post # 10
my mom bought 7 dresses before my sister’s wedding so she had options- her mother-in-law? The week before. My mom looked muuuuch better, having prepared.
Post # 11
Wanting her to be excited about the wedding is understandable. Wanting her to be excited about dress shopping when you yourself said that she would rather face a firing squad than shop for clothes? Not so reasonable. This is one of those things you need to just let go.
Post # 12
She might show her excitement differently. My Mother-In-Law was happy and excited although she didn’t show it like I’m used to but I still knew it. By The Way – My Mother-In-Law bought her outfit the week of the wedding and she looked smashing. I found some time to go with her. She really didn’t think it would be hard.
Post # 13
I kinda think you need to calm down… Buying a dress for a Mother-In-Law or a MOB is way different than bridesmaids or bridal gowns. They have time. If she hates shopping, of course she’s not going to go looking! My Future Mother-In-Law was the opposite. She kept asking me what she should wear and I was like “Seriously? I have a million other things to think about right now! I don’t want to dress you!” But seriously, she does have time and if this is the ONLY thing she’s doing that indicates she’s not excited, then I do think you’re overreacting a little. Now, if she never asks questions about it, or if you share things with her and she’s like “Uh huh whatever….” about it, then yeah, that’s a little weird.
I just don’t see how not shopping for a dress 5 months before the wedding shows that she doesn’t care about your wedding and marriage at all. To me, it’s a complete nonsequiter…
Post # 14
Yeah, sorry, I’m joining the not a big deal crowd above. What would be the problem if she didn’t get a dress until the week before the wedding? What would be the problem if she wore something she already had? I’m just not seeing this as any kind of issue. I would focus on other things that concern you and not worry about those you don’t get control over.
Post # 15
My Mother-In-Law was very excited about our wedding but still took a while to pick out her outfit. And it sounds like your Mother-In-Law just doesn’t like shopping, which could be why she’s putting it off. I wouldn’t worry about it too much, she won’t show up naked to your wedding.
Post # 16
@Sking:This isn’t about controling anything and I personally don’t give a damn what she wears, this is about her complete lack of enthusiasm even when I try to involve her in other things like table arrangements, guest lists, ANYTHING related to the wedding of her only son!
@MissKatelyn:This isn’t about the dress, as I said in my second paragraph I just want her to be excited about SOMETHING.
@organizedbride11:See thats what I get! I don’t want a freaking attitude, I just want to share things with her and have her show SOME excitement about SOMETHING. I asked about the dress/pants suit/ paper sack I dont even care, just to see if that might be something she’s thought about and might have feelings towards. But I got attitude in return so I said screw it. I wrote this post to vent and see if anyone else feels a lack of excitement but post posters seem to think this is all about me wanting her to have a dress already.
@cyndistar3:I’m not freaking out about her not having anythiign, I don’t care that she doesn’t have anything, I just want the woman to be excited about something related to her sons wedding.