Post # 1
When we got engaged back in Jan we set our wedding date for May 2012. Since then we have found out a few things. First off, we are going to have to pay for everything. Secondly, he has a huge family all of which would do there best to make it to the wedding. So, we are looking at a wedding of about 150 people consisting mainly of his family.
Background-We both just graduated college and I am going to grad school. We get by and can pay our bills but paying for the wedding has become a huge burden on us. So far we have planned a lot but put no deposits down (minus one). We just moved 8-9 hours away from our families (to fl) and have decided that traveling back to have the wedding there would be too costly and time consuming. With that being said, we were looking at having a wedding here.
Basically I feel like I have to start all over and we have no idea how were are going to pay for this. A smaller wedding would be fine but it is really going to be hard/awkward if we invite some of his family members and not the others. So we were thinking of doing our wedding on the beach with just his our immediate family (mom/dad/bro/sis) and then having a reception later. The thing is, we would want to take a honeymoon afterwards because it seems weird not to but he can’t take off work for any amount of time until at least 4-6 months from now because he literally just started a new job in his career. We have also thought about just waiting until he can take off and then eloping and taking our honeymoon then. If we did this, we would hold a reception later to celebrate with friends and family.
We feel like if we are going to spend the money, why not spend it on our honeymoon and keep the reception somewhat low key…plus we would not have to spend anything really on the ceremony decor, chairs etc. There is also a huge chance if we have the wedding and/or reception here in fl that a lot of his distant family won’t make it which could really cut costs for us. I know it sounds bad, but he doesn’t really know these relatives (maybe met them once) because his dad has like 8 bro/sis and then they have like 8 kids who have kids and his mom is hell bent on inviting them all PLUS family friends.
What should we do? I literally have no idea what I want anymore.
Post # 3
Go with your gut. Ultimately you need to do what makes YOU happy. Darling Husband and I had a fancy wedding planned out, and we scrapped it and got hitched in my grandparents’ yard because it just felt right. And you know what? I’m so glad we didn’t waste money on a giant wedding we didn’t even want.
It sounds like you guys like the idea of having the small, low-key ceremony and investing in your honeymoon. Do it. If you have a giant affair that neither of you really wants, you’re going to be depressed when you think back on your wedding. Is that what you want? I don’t think so.
Good luck, honey! I know it’s hard!
P.S. If his mom is hell-bent on inviting people you can’t afford to invite, then she should be paying for them. If she doesn’t offer, don’t invite them if they mean little to nothing to you guys. End of story.
Post # 4
You should do what YOU want, not what SHE wants! If she wants all these people coming, then she at least needs to help pay a little bit! If not, then just cut it at inviting your aunts and uncles and first cousins maybe…but not all the others. I don’t think you should elope, unless that is of course what you want to do. In all honestly, the receptions are what cost most of the money..unless you were planning on having a non sit down meal and maybe you made it potluck style…The ceremony doesn’t cost a whole lot, and maybe a couple hundred dollars to rent the chairs for everyone…..
Post # 5
Yeah I feel the same way yet we both feel so pressured to invite them all. I know the reception is what usually costs but if we did elope or even have a small beach wedding with immediate family only then our reception would be pretty low key…I would still be a sit down dinner but I have discovered that having a reception in a restaurant (a nice one) is way cheaper, even if you rent out the entire restaurant. They already have tables, chairs, linens, china etc and that saves a lot of money. Sometimes they even have decor for the tables that you could easily add to. So if we did elope or have a small beach wedding that is what we would do.
I am kind of feeling this french restaurant I found in Jacksonville FL. It is kind of expensive but I doubt 150 people will come just for the reception. We are thinking more like 50-70 would come and it has a great outdoor area that I love. I haven’t found out how much they would charge to rent it out but It is gorgeous!